Gone are the long days of feeling adrift, days we had no hope or direction. For too long we agonized over the circumstances of our lives, tormented by the drinking and lying of our loved ones. Our attempts to control didn't work. They still won't. Yet some days we try anyway.
Most days, though, we use the principles of the program, relying on the wisdom of the first three Steps to take our focus off the person we're trying to control. Accepting that we are powerless, coming to believe in a Power that is greater than we are, letting it guide the behavior of the other person and ourselves—these things give us clarity and peace about the actions we need to make. We aren't adrift today.
I am so lucky that I have a greater Power that I can call on today. I can be certain that I'll be taken care of.
—from A Life of My Own
FEBRUARY 19
Attentiveness
If a man can carve something out of wood, he is just as much a creator as a man who works with words.
—Clara Glenn
It's really not what we do in life that matters, but how we do it. To more clearly understand this, let's take an example. We can all remember dreading a project that needed doing—maybe mending some pants or replacing a screen in the back door. First, we couldn't find our glasses to thread the needle, then we stuck ourselves with the needle, drawing blood that promptly got on the pants. Or we hit our index finger with the hammer as we attempted to install the new screen. Our recollections are endless. Interestingly enough, our personal attitudes always directly controlled the success we had with the project.
What does this mean to us now? It suggests that if we are fully attentive to whatever we pursue, our experience of it will be significantly different. We are competent to handle anything that needs our attention. In most cases, we'll be more than competent. And if we have a real desire to do the job, we'll excel at it, providing we give it our undivided attention.
I am a creator of something today. Maybe it's a friendship or a poem. They are equal in the eyes of God.
—from Keepers of the Wisdom
FEBRUARY 20
Imagination
Imagination has always had powers of resurrection that no science can match.
—Ingrid Bengis
In the imagination are transmitted messages, from God to us. Inspiration is born there. So are dreams. Both give rise to the goals that urge us forward, that invite us to honor this life we've been given with a contribution, one like no other contribution.
Our imagination offers us ideas to ponder, ideas specific to our development. It encourages us to take steps unique to our time, our place, our intended gifts to the world. We can be alert to this special “inner voice” and let it guide our decisions; we can trust its urgings. It's charged with serving us, but only we can decide to “listen.”
The imagination gives us another tool: belief in ourselves. And the magic of believing offers us strength and capabilities even beyond our fondest hopes. It prepares us for the effort we need to make and for handling whatever outcome God has intended.
My imagination will serve me today. It will offer me the ideas and the courage I need to go forth.
—from Each Day a New Beginning
FEBRUARY 21
Changing our thoughts
Change the mind and the behavior follows.
Not one of us feels loving every minute. Even when we have been students of the Course for a long time, we are prone to behavior that embarrasses us at times. Why can't we change, once and for all? Actually, we can. That's the path we are on. We simply haven't arrived at the destination yet. In the meantime, we can take every chance we get to change our thoughts of attack to thoughts of love or forgiveness.
In some situations, it seems easier to change our behavior than our minds. For instance, when arguing with a friend, we may be certain we are right. But we don't have to yell or pout. We may keep our opinion, in fact, and our friends can keep theirs. It doesn't matter really. And that's what we come to understand. None of these differences really matter. They are nothing more than vehicles for learning what is real, what is important.
The quiet mind knows the only truth that matters. We will visit that place more frequently now. Our behavior will signal the change in us.
I may hope to change someone else by my actions today. That's folly. All I can change is my mind and my desire to change other people.
—from Daily Meditations for Practicing the Course
FEBRUARY 22
Secrets
We need to share our problems to find our solutions.
Trying to solve a problem alone, without the benefit of the wisdom of other people, often leaves us stuck with an even worse problem. On the other hand, sharing any problem with interested, compassionate people, such as those we meet in the program, guarantees that many responses will surface. Each person will offer a unique and genuine perspective from which the best solution can be gleaned.
It's not unusual that we kept our problems to ourselves for years. Most of us were ashamed that we didn't have perfect lives; we thought most of the people we knew did. We didn't know that our secrets kept us very stuck. Now we are learning that sharing secrets with trusted others frees us from the burden of our secrets. We can make progress toward those perfect lives only if we tell who we really are and what is really going on. What surprises have been in store for us since we joined the program!
Telling a trusted friend about a problem will make this day more productive. And the problem may get solved too!
—from A Life of My Own
FEBRUARY 23
Acceptance
Life does not need to mutilate itself in order to be pure.
—Simone Weil
How terribly complicated we choose to make life's many questions. Should we call a friend and apologize or wait for her call? Are the children getting the kind of care they must, right now? That we “Came to believe in a power greater than ourselves” is often far from our thoughts when we most need it.
Our need to make all things perfect, to know all the answers, to control everything within our range, creates problems where none really exist. And the more we focus on the problem we've created, the bigger it becomes.
Inattention relieves the tension; last week's problems can seldom be recalled. The one we are keeping a problem with our undivided attention can be turned loose, at this moment. And just as quickly, the turmoil we've been feeling will be beyond recall too.
The program offers us another way to approach life. We need not mutilate it or ourselves. We can learn to accept the things we cannot change, and change the things we can . . . with practice.