Although that first house was not optimal, we hosted a few dinners with friends in
that little place during those eighteen months. Entertaining in that home was very
much like going grocery shopping with limited funds and a long list of items you
want. It was challenging, and it forced me to plan and to rely on creativity when the
money wasn’t optimal.
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Entertaining is a mindset; everywhere we moved was like a clean sheet of paper and a
new box of crayons. Each new place presented us with new options to entertain, and it
was challenging (and fun!) to figure out how to make each new residence a homey place
with new issues regarding how to best utilize new spaces, decorate bare walls, and set
up each new kitchen. I am so thankful that my husband enjoyed those times of change
with me and let me open our home. He didn’t have to. He would much rather have
alone time with our family. I love those times, too, but something pushed me on. I don’t
really know why I wanted company so much, but I wanted to create a haven for our
family that was sufficient for us to host friends and family, have game nights, and offer
a place for neighbor kids to play. To make your home a hub, the key is to be
ready and
willing
and to be
open
to the possibilities. Maybe an opportunity will only come once,
ever. Take that opportunity.
One of my biggest motivations for this book is how many times I’ve heard people saying
that they’d never have people over because they don’t feel their house is very presentable,
or maybe they think they aren’t gifted with a hostess’s knack for hospitality. What’s funny
is that I usually look at their home and think, “Wow, this is a great place for people. I don’t
understand.” We should not feel let down for not having what we define as “the perfect
home” or feel discouraged that our home is not right, but rejoice in what we have and
that we can share it with our friends, neighbors, and family.
Simply put, hospitality is making people feel welcome in your home or at the social event
you are hosting.
My dear friend from college, Re, shared a story about her friend, Monalta, who is such a
gracious person. She is very community-minded and loves to draw people from the same
community together. Their children are about the same
age, and a few of them went to high school together. A
few times on the first day of school, Monalta hosted a get-
together for some of the moms. They met for a short time
and had tea or coffee and a few goodies some of the ladies
brought. It was great—simple and great. Who thought to do
that? Monalta did.
There are eighty-eight keys on a piano keyboard, and there
must be at least that many ways to
give
to people, including
opening your home, welcoming new neighbors, inviting
church guests out for a meal or a dinner at your home,
or taking food to a family suffering a protracted illness,
unemployment, or even a death. Everybody loves getting
Christmas cookies, and delivering a tray is a great way to
show someone you care. Other ideas could be driving a
shut-in to a medical or hair appointment, taking care of
someone’s kids while the parent takes a much-needed nap
or has a date night, or even just raking leaves or shoveling
snow for a neighbor who might be widowed or disabled.
Your opportunities to be a blessing are limited only by you.
Such acts of generosity show your love and care for others;
it is a way of imitating Christ [He fed the 5,000, remember?]
It is essential to make it plain that they owe you nothing
and do not have to reciprocate. To give freely means not to
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expect anything in return. An example of this is when my friend, Melanie, watched my
four kids for me one day. Her kids were older, so she did not need me to watch hers. I felt
guilty. Then she said, “Just do the same for someone else sometime.” This was a great
example to me as a young mom. Even though she was my age, she was willing to help
me, even when I didn’t understand her selfless act at that time. I could not return this
favor to her, but I could learn from it, remember it, and do the same for someone else
when I could.
Hospitality became such a huge part of my mindset that I find myself wanting to
welcome others even if my home is not at its best. I think the key is that I don’t want to
worry about the mess at eleven at night while a hurting someone needs to share their
heart. Does that mean I don’t care about the mess and I don’t work at making my house
ready? No. I get concerned if I have a pile of laundry or dishes in the sink, but I will not
shut someone out if they need me. Taking time despite my house looking too “casual”
also involves taking time for my family, too. I want my home to be a haven for my family
also, and I pray to God that I always make them feel more important to me than a sink
full of dishes or laundry piled in the hallway.
Last year, I attended a ladies’ retreat, and the speaker shared her heart regarding
hospitality. One of the things that spoke to me was that she had made a map of her
neighborhood. Every time she met a neighbor, she would go inside and quickly write
their name down on the house they lived in so she would not forget their name. That is
so great. How many times have I talked to someone only to forget their name or which
house they live in? We are new to our neighborhood, so I confess that I have only visited
with a few of our neighbors. People don’t sit on their front porches anymore, so we don’t