The Rosers were his first “second family,” and he kept in contact with them. Cham was the beginning of his life far away from home. One of his most haunting self-portraits is called Please Don’t Send Home : Martin peers out like a little runaway child, with no home any more, imploring the viewer to take him in because there is no going back. He wanted to move forward, get ahead, achieve something, conquer ever-new territory.
Still, according to his friend Michel Würthle, there was one place among all the many places in his life where he was always happy to return: “Childhood. The family house. Mama and Papa.”
OUR PARENTS
A person doesn’t create himself out of nothing, after all.
—MK
[Did your parents play a part in your personality?] Massive, massive, massive. I have to admit it. A huge part.... Both parents. Both extremes.
—MK
They fell in love with each other through writing. Writing letters.
Actually, they had already known each other for a long time: they were in the same dancing school without really noticing each other. Their parents moved in the same circles in Duisburg. And long before he received letters from her himself, he had read her letters.
It was during the war, in Hungary, and the doctor in his regiment, one Wiechmann, always showed him what she’d written. Wiechmann didn’t know what to make of the dry letters and couldn’t understand why he wasn’t getting anywhere with her. The young lady just wouldn’t catch fire. Our father gave him good advice but it didn’t help.
Later, after the war was over, our father’s father invited her over to dinner—not without thinking, perhaps, that she might make a good match; he would have known that as a manager at Deutsche Bank. After a stroll in the woods, our father took her to the streetcar: “the only thing I remember was her unusual way of walking. She just galumphed along.” He found it touchingly awkward. And that was that, until he wrote to congratulate her on her recent graduation from medical school, just to be polite. She wrote to thank him for his thanks, “and from that bungled thank-you-no-thank- you ” arose an exchange of letters.
He gently accused her of maybe being too cold to the other man, Wiechmann, and our mother got furious: she had only written to him on the front in the first place out of pity! But then, wounded in his masculinity, this Wiechmann had started insulting her, accusing her of being a “sexless workhorse”—her, Dr. Lore Leverkus, a young doctor who had just started her first job at the Göttingen Clinic for no salary because the paid positions were reserved for the men returning from the war. “I don’t care to answer letters like that.”
The two of them debated the meaning of love and discussed art. She told him about Beethoven concerts she had heard, live or on the radio, and he told her about the pictures he was painting and the classes he was taking. “A ten-page letter two or three times a week,” our father said later, “no one can withstand that.” For his twenty-sixth birthday, March 1, 1947, she typed up their letters, bound them, and gave him the volume, illustrated with the little pictures he used to send her to accompany his words. She wrote as the dedication “You for me and me for you.” And next to the dedication was a bookplate he had drawn for both of them to use: someone sitting in an armchair and reading a newspaper that said “Lore” on one side and “Gerd” on the other.
They called each other “Little Man” and “Little Mouse.” She sent him care packages with oatmeal, bacon, textbooks, ribbons, brushes, and Rilke poems. He, a mining student in Aachen, sent her stockings, and also work: reports to type up and send on to the senior office. He sent her drawings and watercolors, which she tacked to the wall of her room. Whenever he painted, “burning with zeal,” he forgot everything, including the stove he was supposed to keep hot while she cooked for him and did the laundry. Sometimes she read to him while he was painting. Art, he would later say, was what he had really wanted to study, really wanted to do. If only the war hadn’t gotten in the way.
When she was offered a position in Odenwald, she turned it down: “There’s not the slightest intellectual stimulation there, I’d go brain-dead.” She liked to go to concerts, to the theater—a Shakespeare production in a ruined cloister, for instance. She was an enthusiastic reader of what people were reading in those days (Manfred Hausmann, Frank Thiess), and she liked telling him, a “specialist in the field,” her impressions of various art exhibitions in Wiesbaden. She worshipped the Old Masters (Dürer, Grünewald, Bosch) and complained about contemporary artists: “All their works have nothing to say except ‘Me, me, me.’” Within six months, she had revised her opinion and said she recognized genius in modern painting; she didn’t want to “label it as smears of color on the wall any more.”
In one of his early letters, Gerd had told her that he was more afraid of marriage than of the war. But on August 2, 1948, the banker’s son and the factory director’s daughter were married: Gerd, son of Gertie née Oechelhäuser and Hans Kippenberger, and Dr. med. Eleonore “Lorchen” Augusta Elena, daughter of Otto and stepdaughter of his new, third wife Dr. med. Lore Leverkus. Despite taking place in the lean postwar years, it was “a real peacetime wedding,” thanks to various bartered items (coal for wine, for example), care packages, cured meats from the black market, and ration cards contributed by all the guests. There had been several small engagement parties rather than one big party, and now the wedding itself was celebrated in style for three days: guests marched through the village singing miners’ songs on the first night, carousing until nine the next morning; the written schedule for the second day said “Sleep late!”; finally came the ceremonies on the third day, first at the registry office and then in the church. After lunch on the third day, according to the program: “Catch your breath,” then coffee, and finally dancing.
Lore Leverkus and Gerd Kippenberger (in miner’s tunic) on their wedding day, 1948
© Kippenberger Family
The groom himself had illustrated the “wedding newspaper” that was handed out to all the guests, and had written most of the poems in it as well. Like so many other family occasions to come, this festive day was recorded for posterity: “Mother-in-law Lore greeted the guests at the front door in her slip. Father-in-law Abba stood in the bedroom in his long underwear, unashamed, while Little Mouse had a wreath pinned up in her hair. Meanwhile little female cousins of every shape and size shuttled back and forth through the house, being either fed or put to work. The sexton didn’t want to let us into the church until we paid the marriage fee.”
Their honeymoon was in the Bergisches Land: hiking in the mountains. He shoved rocks he found geologically interesting into her backpack, and she secretly took them out again and dropped them. Almost as soon as they got home—by boat to Düsseldorf and from there by streetcar—he was off again, for a month in England with his fellow students. She had a job by then with a country doctor, near Aachen, and she supported her husband while he was in school.
DAD
He was born on March 1, 1921, the oldest of four brothers, so in 1939 he had just graduated high school and finished his time in the national labor service. He began his hands-on training in the mines: “I had chosen the career of the old Siegerland families: coal miner. But then, of course, came the war.”
Later, when he would tell stories about the war years, they were almost always comic. He was determined to see the beautiful side of things and refused to let even a war quash his worldview. His memoirs of the time read like stories of adventure tourism: when he transferred in Berlin on the way to Poland as an eighteen-year-old soldier, for example, he felt “a tingly sensation from being abroad, not knowing what to expect.” In Poland, he went to bars and enthused about the Masurian lake country; in France, he