After presenting such a story and discussing its inspirational attributes, teachers can directly teach students about the process of forgiveness. For example, teachers could present the Enright Forgiveness Process Model (Enright, 2001) to their students, which identifies the following four phases of the forgiveness process.
1. Uncovering phase: Recognizing an offense and its associated negative consequences
2. Decision phase: Deciding to forgive
3. Work phase: Trying to reframe feelings about the offense or the offender
4. Deepening phase: Identifying the positives from the situation as a whole
Each phase in this model is further broken down into component actions. Teachers can explain the phases of the forgiveness process and actions taken during each using the prompts in table 2.3.
Gassin and colleagues (2005) noted that it is important to delve into the true nature of forgiveness to dispel common misconceptions about it:
Our group thoroughly reviewed philosophical work on forgiveness, which makes clear that forgiveness is offered from a position of strength…. Forgiveness does not make one weak or vulnerable; it should be confused neither with condoning (e.g., ignoring or subtly approving) an offense, nor with reconciliation (reestablishing a relationship with an offender). Forgiveness does not preclude moderate, limited expressions of anger or a search for reasonable redress of injustice. (p. 322)
After discussing forgiveness with students, teachers should directly address these common misconceptions. They can do this by asking students to differentiate between forgiveness, approval, and reconciliation, as well as to define appropriate and inappropriate responses to an offense. Teachers should be wary of forcing students to forgive one another after conflicts arise in class, as one can never mandate forgiveness. In other words, teachers can inform students of the forgiveness process and its benefits, but they should also make the distinction that practicing forgiveness is an individual choice in which students must decide to engage.
Table 2.3: Enright Forgiveness Process Model
| Phase | Associated Prompts |
| Uncovering phase | • Who hurt you?• How deeply were you hurt?• On what specific incident will you focus?• What were the circumstances at the time? Was it morning or afternoon? Cloudy or sunny? What was said? How did you respond?• How have you avoided dealing with anger?• How have you faced your anger?• Are you afraid to expose your shame or guilt?• Has your anger affected your health?• Have you been obsessed with the injury or the offender?• Do you compare your situation with that of the offender?• Has the injury caused a permanent change in your life?• Has the injury changed your worldview? |
| Decision phase | • Decide that what you have been doing hasn’t worked.• Be willing to begin the forgiveness process.• Decide to forgive. |
| Work phase | • Work toward understanding the offender by viewing him or her in context.• Work toward compassion for the offender.• Accept the pain associated with the offense.• Give the offender a gift (moral or otherwise). |
| Deepening phase | • Find meaning for the self and others in the offense and the forgiveness process.• Recognize times when you needed forgiveness from others.• Discover you are not alone.• Realize that the offense has positive implications.• Recognize the emotional release, decreased negative effect, and increased positive effect of forgiveness. |
Source: Adapted from Enright, 2001. Used with permission.
Gratitude
Exploring and experiencing gratitude is another way to help students connect to something greater than self. Researchers Jeffrey J. Froh and Giacomo Bono (2012) stated that, for students, gratitude “improves their mood, mental health, and life satisfaction, and it can jumpstart more purposeful engagement in life at a critical moment in their development, when their identity is taking shape.” In fact, Froh and Bono (2012) found:
Teens who had high levels of gratitude when entering high school had less negative emotions and depression and more positive emotions, life satisfaction, and happiness four years later when they were finishing high school. They also had more hope and a stronger sense of meaning in life.
Gratitude helps us see the positive aspects of our lives overall as opposed to a narrow perspective of what is happening in our lives at a specific moment. According to Christopher Peterson (2008), gratitude is at the heart of positive psychology, the study of what makes life worth living. Peterson (2008) noted that the following beliefs underlie positive psychology.
▸ What is good in life is as genuine as what is bad.
▸ What is good in life is not the absence of what is not.
▸ What is good in life is worth acknowledging and exploring.
These beliefs are probably a good place to start with students as they begin to engage in gratitude practice. Teachers could present groups of students with these statements and discuss the extent to which they believe these principles are true and present in their day-to-day actions.
With this discussion as a background, students working individually or in groups can be asked to generate definitions of gratitude. The following list contains a few examples.
▸ “An emotion or state resulting from an awareness and appreciation of that which is valuable and meaningful to oneself” (Lambert, Clark, Durtschi, Fincham, & Graham, 2010, p. 574)
▸ “Gratitude—a positive emotion that typically flows from the perception that one has benefited from the costly, intentional, voluntary action of another person” (McCullough, Kimeldorf, & Cohen, 2008, p. 281)
▸ “Gratitude is the positive emotion one feels when another person has intentionally given, or attempted to give, one something of value” (Bartlett & DeSteno, 2006, p. 319)
▸ “An estimate of gain coupled with the judgment that someone else is responsible for that gain” (Solomon, 1976/1993, p. 257)
▸ “Hav[ing] something to do with kindness, generousness, gifts, the beauty of giving and receiving, or ‘getting something for nothing’” (Pruyser, 1976, p. 69)
▸ “By showing gratitude … we express our beliefs that [others] acted with our interests in mind and that we benefited; we show that we are glad for the benefit and the others’ concern—we appreciate what was done” (Berger, 1975, p. 302)
Once students understand the concept of gratitude, they can be systematically engaged in gratitude-based activities. The following gratitude activities identified by Vicki Zakrzewski (2013) are easily integrated into the classroom.
▸ Gratitude book: Create a classroom scrapbook with space for students to write and draw about things for which they are grateful. Send the book home with a different student each week so families can contribute to the gratitude book as well.
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