“Angels flew down from heaven playing harps. They pointed to this great big giant piano. They wanted me to join them. I trembled because I knew I couldn’t play the piano.” I opened my eyes as wide as possible so as to seem more scared and innocent. “I have never taken any lessons.”
“Were you asleep?” my father asked, one large hand clutching my shoulder, the other pushing his blue cap further up on his head, exposing the bald spot. “Was it a dream?”
Before I could answer, my mother jumped in: “He already told you he was wide awake. It was a vision. God is speaking to the child.”
“You know how kids are,” said my father, from out of whose pocket the money would come. He chuckled. “Elwyn’s been wanting to play piano so bad, he begins to hear God and see visions. It could be a trick of the devil.”
My mother shook a finger at him. “Elwyn should have been taking piano lessons a long time ago. He is special. God speaks to animals and children. Elwyn doesn’t lie.”
My father peered down at me with a look that said, Tell the truth boy, but I kept my eyes wide and innocent, still struck by the wondrous and glorious vision I had seen. My father said to my mother, “But we can’t be so literal with everything. If it’s a dream, maybe we need to interpret it.”
“Interpret nothing!” shot back Isadore the maid, who pursued Roscoe the school bus driver to the far side of the room; he fell into his overstuffed recliner where it was customary for him to accept defeat. “You call yourself a Christian,” she shouted, raising holy hands, “but you’d rather spend money at the track than on your own boy! Some Christian you are.”
My father hung his head in shame. He was beaten.
He did, however, achieve a small measure of revenge. Instead of giving up his day at the track, he told my grandmother, that great old-time saint, about my “visions,” and my grandmother, weeping and raising holy hands, told Pastor, and Pastor wrote my name on the prayer sheet.
How I cringed each week as Pastor read to the congregation, “And pray that God send Brother Elwyn a piano to practice on.”
I believed that God would send one indeed—plummeting from heaven like a meteor to crash through the roof of the Church of Our Blessed Redeemer Who Walked Upon the Waters and land right on my head.
I had lied and liars shall have their part in the lake of fire.
I prayed, “Heavenly Father, I lied to them, but I am just a child. Cast me not into the pit where the worm dieth not.”
Thank God for Brother Morrisohn and his ultrawhite false teeth. If he hadn’t stood up and bought that piano for me, I would have surely died just like Ananias and Sapphira—struck down before the doors of the church for telling lies.
Brother Morrisohn was a great saint, a retired attorney who gave copiously of his time and energy—as well as his money—to the Church of Our Blessed Redeemer Who Walked Upon the Waters. It was his money that erected the five great walls of the church, his money through the Grace of God that brought us warmth in the winter and coolness in the hot Miami summer. It was his money that paid Pastor’s salary in the ’60s when the Holy Rollers built a church practically on our back lot and lured the weaker members of the flock away. After a fire destroyed the Rollers’ chapel, it was Brother Morrisohn’s money that purchased the property back from the bank, putting the Rollers out of business for good.
“I can’t sit by and watch God’s work go undone,” he always said.
On the day they delivered the secondhand upright piano, he told me, “You’re going to be a great man of God, Elwyn,” and he extended his forefingers like pistols and rattled a few keys.
He was already in his seventies by then, but lean and healthy and proud of his looks. His full head of gray hair, which he parted stylishly down the middle, was a contrast to his dark, handsome complexion. He always wore a jacket and tie and carried a gold-tipped cane. Grinning, he showed his much-too-white false teeth. “I love music, but I never learned to play. Maybe someday you’ll teach me.”
“I will,” I said. I had just turned eight.
“I wish you would teach him, Elwyn,” said Sister Morrisohn, the wife who was about half Brother Morrisohn’s age. From a distance she could be mistaken for a white woman with her fair skin and her long black hair cascading down her back. She was the prettiest woman at church, everyone always said, though she had her ways, whatever that meant. She removed her shawl and draped it lovingly over his shoulders. “We have that big piano at home no one ever plays.”
“I’m not cold,” Brother Morrisohn protested, frowning, but he did not remove the lacy shawl. He rattled the keys again.
“I’ll teach you piano, Brother Morrisohn,” I said.
He reached down and patted my head. “Thank you, Elwyn.”
I was so happy. I hadn’t had my first lesson yet, but I sat down on the wobbly stool and made some kind of music on that piano.
A little after midnight, my father emerged from the bedroom and drove me to bed.
“Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight,” he sang, accentuating each beat with a playful open-palm slap to my rump. It was a victory for him too. Just that weekend he had won $300 at the track. It didn’t seem to bother him that my mother had demanded half the money and set it aside for my piano lessons.
Every night I offered a prayer of thanksgiving, certain God had forgiven me.
Peachie Gregory was another thing entirely.
Peachie Gregory—with those spidery limbs and those bushy brows that met in the center of her forehead and that pouting mouth full of silver braces—I didn’t completely understand it when I first saw her play the piano, but I wanted her almost as much as I envied her talent.
She dominated my thoughts when I was awake, and in time I began seeing her in my progressively worsening dreams—real dreams, not made-up visions—dreams of limbs brushing limbs, and lips whispering into lips in a parody of holy prayer. Then I began manipulating my thoughts to ensure that my dreams would include her. At my lowest, I dreamt about her without benefit of sleep.
By age thirteen, when I began to use my hands, I knew I was bound for hell.
I couldn’t turn to my parents, so one Sunday I went to the restroom to speak with Brother Morrisohn.
He said, “Have you prayed over the matter?”
“Yes,” I answered, “but the Lord hasn’t answered yet.”
He smiled, showing those incredible teeth. “Maybe He has and you just don’t understand His answer. I’m sure He’s leaving it up to you.”
“Leaving it up to me?”
We stood inside the combination men’s washroom and lounge his money had built. Four stand-up stalls and four sit-down stalls lined one wall. A row of sinks lined another. In the center of the room, five plush chairs formed a semicircle around a floor-model color television. We were between services, so a football game was airing. Otherwise, the television would have picked up the closed-circuit feed and broadcast the service to the Faithful who found it necessary to be near the facilities. These days Brother Morrisohn, pushing close to his promised four score, attended most services by way of this floor-model television. His Bible, hymnal, and gold-tipped cane rested in one of the chairs.
“I don’t care what anyone tells you, God gets upset when we turn to Him for everything. Sometimes we’ve got to take responsibility. Elwyn, it’s your mind and your hand, and you must learn to control them. Otherwise, why don’t you just blame God for every sin you commit? God made you kill. God made you steal. God made you play with yourself.”
Brother Morrisohn was so close I could smell his cologne. His teeth made a ticking sound each time his jaw moved. Suddenly, he began to tremble and coughed a reddish glob into his hands. He moved quickly to the faucet