In the case described above, Eberhard learned over time that it was not the intention of his superiors to “do anything to him”; rather, their action was based on completely different conditions and constraints, the meaning of which had remained largely hidden to him until then. His usual view of things had been a narcissistic distortion up till then, and he was only able to “read” or “decode” his environment almost exclusively in the light of his personal need for recognition: demands made of him were solely processed from the point of view: “What does this tell me about the recognition of my person?” As a result, he was hardly in a position to constructively deal with dissent, since his inner possibilities always made him see decisions or directives coming from above through the question “Why are you doing this to me?” - a distortion that strained the patience and flexibility of his superiors to the limit. Over the years, these superiors saw themselves confronted with a “sensitivity” and “self-glory,” as they called it, which they endured only because they were convinced of the technical competence of their colleague but otherwise rated him as “difficult.” They endured up to a certain point, before drawing the line - as I said - by transferring him to a manageable area of responsibility. During a nearly two-year self-experience and coaching process, Eberhard understood the situation his earlier, distorted perceptions had gotten him into and he also understood how it lead him to inappropriate behavior, even towards the people who only had positive intentions towards their employees. “What have I done?” That was the question he raised, almost weeping, which marked the fundamental turning point in his thinking, feeling and action. Suddenly, he saw his whole past life in a new light and, shocked, he recognized just how unjust and unfair his emotional disability led him to behave towards the basically constructive-minded executives. It was a logical consequence of this inner transformation process that he began, on his own, to think of how he could make up for damage done - even though it took place many years before. "I have to speak again with my former professor, from whom I resigned at that time out of anger!" - one of the consequences, which he himself drew from this learning process.
This example shows that people who trust themselves to try the inner path of transformative learning become increasingly capable of overcoming the constellations of their emotional lenses. They recognize that we construct our own lives through how we have learned to feel in the world. In a very subtle way, we also, on our own, create that which makes us suffer, because we “need” this suffering, since we have not really learned to live permanently trusting in love, cooperation, happiness, and security as a supportive and unthreatening feeling. Transformative learning is therefore deeply effective identity learning.
Transformative learning does not, or rarely happens through “eureka!” experiences. It is a painstaking process that involves several stages: First, it has to do with an exact reconstruction of the patterns of our own emotional experience. At this level, it is about re-experiencing situations, moods, and feelings of the past emotionally, and tracing the substance they have left behind in us. Sometimes slogans like “No one wants to see me!” or “Why not me...” come into consciousness and represent a tangible anchor that always influences the here and now. Only by recognizing such emotional certainties, - within the context of an appreciative and stabilizing guide – can we cautiously arrive at the recognition that these emotional relics of the past are still present in us, nourishing our thinking, feeling and action: “I think as I feel.” At this stage usually, the simple building blocks of their world view become shockingly clear to the participants and they can gradually begin to realize how they themselves shaped the situations in which they found themselves and nothing else: “I experience the way I think.”
The next stage is the stage of intentionally “putting differences to work” (de Shazer 1991). This requires the creativity of the facilitator and the group, because it is all about generating other interpretations of what was once experienced as harassment, including those interpretations that serve to develop other benevolent assumptions about the annoying other party and to also “substitute” the actual other party by giving him a collective name, such as “the devaluer”. This initially brings the pattern of previous experiences into focus (first transformation), and in an experimental process that can also be effectively supported by sculpting, the possibility is revealed to see the world with different eyes or through the eyes of others (second transformation). In this way, the new experience is initiated, but it still requires a whole series of other exercises before the “devaluer” is really recognized as a personal construction and the opportunity can be created to actually offer the other party the “possibility” to be viewed differently. The person who undergoes such a transformation process does not immediately “know what he should make (think) of it” but, an idea, once thought and thoroughly felt, remains buried as an indelible experience in our minds. It can be reinforced as one processes experiences differently and helps us to learn to think in a new manner. (cf. Figure 3).
Figure 3.1: Stages of transformative learning
Transformative learning is deception learning. The learning process is a deception, i.e., a liberation from earlier self-deceptions, to which our individualization process has led us. This involves the giving up of our own familiar and sticky adhesive forms of thinking, feeling and acting. This transformation is difficult and requires special courage on the part of those who accept it and special didactic and guidance skill on the part of the person who initiates such a process and accompanies it as a coach or facilitator. This is because it has to do with redesigning self-identity, while fully conscious and without anesthesia. “To see and hear, what is there” (Virginia Satir) is the blueprint for this process of de-perception, in which previous self-deceptions are overcome and appropriate ways of dealing with reality can develop, which will prevent us from repeating the same patterns over and over again.
Access to the familiar world of accusations and depression is increasingly blocked as changed feelings obstruct the process. What emerges is a form of deliberate life. This often allows individuals to actually develop for the first time their own energy in the context of what really exists. It requires a transformation of existing meanings by not only allowing new interpretations, but also by sharing them. This step to an “open mind” (Scharmer 2005, p. 12) cannot be achieved through instruction, argumentation, or even dispute, but by a new and changed emotion. It seems to be the “open heart” that creates the conditions to experience anew and also to express this new experience - a mutual relationship of these two learning streams that is still somewhat unclear in the concept of C.O. Scharmer. Although unclear too is the inclusion of the spiritual competence, which motivates the will to be open, so we can allow ourselves in-the-world being and acting experiences. For Scharmer, it is nevertheless an “internal effort” that can help bring out the “the deeper levels of social development” in managers and those responsible for the development and shaping of social actions.
Self-reflection 5: Why are deceptions a necessary condition for transformative learning? What exactly gets “deceived”?