In our present situation a constant feedback of thoughts and emotions arises. We try to play deaf and dumb; we act as if it isn’t happening. We try to hide, but this doesn’t work. We need to try something else. In truth, we are not at the point where everything is spontaneously liberated. We have to start somewhere, and that starting point is shamatha. The first step in shamatha is to stay put: in other words, relax and stay present. In order for this mind, this attention, to stay put, shamatha has two methods: one with support and another without any support. People differ, though; some practice a lot of shamatha, some not so much. Please understand that the situation differs according to the individual.
If you want to know whether you need to practice shamatha, just take a look in the mirror one morning. If your eyes are staring into the distance, your forehead is wrinkled, your cheeks are drawn, and you look tense, nervous, and unsettled, then you can say, “Hmmm, this person needs a little settling down; she needs a little shamatha.” At this point, you don’t need to worry too much about what color lipstick to put on, about whether a little extra facial cream is necessary, or whether you need to shave. You’re looking for something else here. Rather than wondering, “Are my lips a bit dry?” instead you ask, “Are these eyes somewhat rigid? Do they look almost dry?” No water in the eyes, no moisturizer on the face—even if you put cream on, it still looks dry. If you feel your face is very far from being able to simply smile, and if smiling feels artificial, then try to say the words “content … relaxed … wonderful …” If it’s very difficult to say them and you feel, “That is definitely not my nature right now,” this is a clear sign that you need some shamatha. If you feel like you’re making fun of yourself, that the moment the smile is relaxed your face immediately hardens again into a humorless mask, well, maybe some shamatha is required.
We can notice this simply by being a little mindful. With a little presence of mind we can give this face a little daily checkup. We don’t have to wait through the hard-driving ages of our twenties, thirties, and forties and then wake up and say, “Wow, I’m forty-five—I need to go relax up in the mountains; I need to go somewhere else.” That is a bit late in the show. We do not have to wait that long. Could anybody reading this possibly be forty-five?
If we look absentminded but are completely occupied by thoughts and don’t even know it, then we definitely need some shamatha in the sense of relaxing. Whatever we are sitting and thinking about, obsessing about, just let it go and relax. There’s a definite need for shamatha here.
The basis for bodhichitta is relaxation. Without relaxing or settling down, there is no sense of ease. Without a sense of ease, there is no delight. Without delight, bodhichitta is not possible. Do you understand this?
As we get more relaxed, more free and easy, our minds become more malleable and it becomes possible to truly take in and understand the brain teachings of Buddhism. We better understand the wonderful qualities of bodhichitta and the benefits of giving rise to the bodhisattva spirit, as well as the harm of failing to do so. Through practice, these teachings can fuse with how we feel, with our actual experience. At this point, something can really happen.
There is a time in our practice and in our lives when we can put the teachings of bodhichitta to use for real. What Shantideva taught in The Way of the Bodhisattva and other teachings, what the Kadampa masters and others taught, can actually become something real in our own experience. Once we are at ease with ourselves, a certain delight and joy arises. At this point we have something to share. The tonglen practice of sending our well-being to others and taking their suffering upon ourselves can now be actualized, because we really do have some happiness to share. Before that, if we’re ill at ease and confused, what happiness is there to give to others? Really, there isn’t any—it’s just words. After engaging in shamatha practice, we can use the resulting sense of delight to make this wish: “May this delight be experienced by everyone; may everyone else have it too.” One can also pay attention to others and care for them with the thought “How horrible that they have to suffer like this! I wish they did not. May they be relieved of their pain; may I take all their suffering upon myself.” In this way, the tonglen practice of sending and taking can become a real practice—not an intellectual process but an actual experience.
Let’s do some shamatha practice to feel more at ease in our whole body. In your heart, leave room for love. Wherever you feel tension, loosen and release it, whether it is in a muscle, in your emotions, or in your thoughts. If your energy is up in your head too much, let it settle. If your love is a little tight, let it spread out a bit. Mentally let your mind smile, an inner smile that is not necessarily on your face. Let the juice of that feeling saturate you. Sit with your body straight—don’t slump like a sack. The shoulders are straight. There’s a certain sense of being grounded in your belly, with a centered area rising up through your body like a central channel. Your mind is not trying to make anything happen: simply be at peace.
If you want an object to hold in mind, notice the breath. It is good to keep the eyes open here. Open your eyes, open everything. It is all right. You do not have to completely sink into the feeling of being relaxed. You can be relaxed and yet alert. You notice everything—sounds, sights, how it feels. The “feeler” here is relaxed, and yet it feels.
When you notice that you are relaxed and at ease and that there is some sense of delight, slowly let this delight expand to embrace everything and everyone else—the whole world, including those people and circumstances you don’t particularly like. Include your friends, Mom and Dad, everyone. Feel very loose, like there is no tightness anywhere and you’re not mentally holding back anything.
When you feel some sense of delight and ease, some feeling of empathy, love, or bodhichitta, don’t cling to it. We need to be loving and yet not keep hold of that either. To think, “Wow! Now I’m doing well. Now bodhichitta is being born in me. Wow! I must be a bodhisattva now” is not productive. In fact, bodhichitta is diminished if we claim possession of it and try to own it. It is not something for us to own. It does not belong to us at all.
Whatever helps bodhichitta to arise is good. A frame of mind that is gentle and at peace is good. This is how it should be. A spiritual practitioner should become softer and softer from the inside. If we instead notice that our “practice” seems to be making us harder, that we are becoming tighter inside, then we should take a break. Take a holiday from Buddhism. Go to the beach in Thailand or Goa and sleep.
STUDENT: What is the point of shamatha?
RINPOCHE: As I explained earlier, this mind does not really know itself at all. When we are totally unaware of ourselves, completely preoccupied and busy with external matters, then shamatha has a point. The mind can get very busy, very caught up in its own affairs. It can feel like it cannot relax in itself for even one instant. The attention does not stay with anything in a sustained way, not with a simple cup, not even with a cup’s lid, much less you and your feelings! Mind does not even truly know what feelings and sensations are. This is where the training known as the fourfold application of mindfulness comes in: mindfulness of body, mindfulness of sensations, mindfulness of mind, and mindfulness of samadhi. This is a very good teaching.
Especially for people whose thoughts are in turmoil, who completely lose track of themselves. Maybe you forget about whether you have a leg or a heart or a lung, because you’re so busy looking in this one place: “Oh, maybe I have a neck.” But mostly it’s a very cold leg, a cold hand, a cold heart. You are completely out there, and it’s very scary—no trust. The fourfold application of mindfulness is the best way to connect with yourself. With this, you notice you do have legs, you have lips, feet, warmth: “Warmth, there is warmth around my heart. I love my heart. Oh, heart, relax.” This is the application of the mindfulness of body. “Oh, I love my neck pain. I know you need space. You want some space from me. I can give you a little space. I can give you my love. Relax.” Give it time—why not? Those parts are asking for space, for love from you, so you can provide that. Noticing different sensations and feelings—a dry sensation, an ugly sensation—allow the feelings and sensations to be felt and accommodated and settle down. Hug and kiss the feelings: “I am here for you.” No problem, really. You have squeezed yourself so much—like a toothpaste tube. Everyone has squeezed themselves so much, you squeeze