Life is about singularities. It’s made up of a zillion little moments that come and go. When we miss those moments, they are gone forever. So, unless you’re going to die or lose your life savings or put others’ lives or well-being at risk, climb it, sail it, eat it, sing it, see it, try it, do it. You will likely never be in that moment again. And most of us will have far greater regret about the things we didn’t do than about the things we did.
Regret is an easy trap to fall into. You don’t seize the opportunity presented, and you carry that regret like a millstone around your neck. It weighs you down and follows you around. Ultimately, regret keeps you from seizing the next opportunity, and the next, until you find yourself filled with more regret than satisfaction when it comes to your life and your choices about that life. That’s the kind of self-defeating mayhem for which That Unicorn has no time or energy.
Sometimes we do things we’re not entirely proud of or thrilled about. We drink a little too much at the party, we say something that hurts someone’s feelings, or we don’t go on the trip or take the job. It’s okay to be disappointed in a choice…for a moment. It’s not okay to let that choice ruin you. It doesn’t make any sense. Why have one regret compound itself into a zillion more?
That Unicorn is all about living and learning. Don’t let one misstep keep you from saying yes to the next opportunity. Instead of regretting a slip, learn from it. Use that mistake to inform how you will act when the next event or trip or job presents itself. You cannot change the past nor predict the future. You can, however, be present in the now and seize every moment that each day gives you. That Unicorn lives with eyes and arms and heart wide open and ready to receive the gifts that—trust me—the universe is designed to offer you. Yesterday is in the books. But today is all yours.
Unicorns are planners. They have to be. There’s too much life to go at it unplanned. But they are also realistic and flexible…just not too realistic and not too flexible. That’s the best part about That Unicorn. She is all the things that we sometimes think are too hard to be. When we plan like That Unicorn, we remember to pack extra socks just in case. But only one pair because a heavy suitcase is the worst. That Unicorn listens to the weather report but always keeps an umbrella in the car; she also knows that wherever you travel, they always sell umbrellas somewhere. That Unicorn knows that to plan is human, but to throw that plan out the window can also be divine.
I’ve burned myself in both directions—both over-planning and under-planning—so I know what it is to walk the not-so-unicorn path. But I learned from those trips to always go the way of the unicorn. I planned a Disney trip within an inch of its life. No one was ever hangry or over-tired. No one got too hot. Every ride was ridden. Every show was seen. There was park time, pool time, and hotel time. Money was saved. Convenience was had. And there wasn’t one fight or meltdown, even though three adults and one five-year-old were involved and staying in one room. It wasn’t easy. And all the planning was on me. But it was so worth it.
That Unicorn knows that a good plan means she’ll be happy and so will everyone else. Now, others have to be willing to follow the plan, and it’s a good idea to chart a course where the only person being disadvantaged will be the one not following the plan. But, in general, a good plan goes a long way. Proper planning can be a thankless job, but I like to think of everything going smoothly as my reward.
I don’t always plan. Sometimes that still works out fine. Sometimes I’m sorry that I didn’t plan better. I miss a museum or waste time or resources. I try not to beat myself up about it (even though it’s one of the most significant issues I seem to always be working on), and I try to learn for next time. Sometimes, others do the planning. As long as they’re good at, I say, “Have at it.” And, if it turns out to be a disaster, I chalk it up to experience and make a note not to follow that person’s planning again.
The point is, with a plan, life has less of a chance of just passing you by. Plan to get things done, so you’re free when your friends are in town. Google restaurants before your road trip so you don’t miss the best BBQ on Route 66. Ask for how-to tips about almost anything, and don’t waste your time reinventing the wheel. That Unicorn is all about being calm and efficient because calm and efficient always feels better than harried and disorganized.
When it comes to planning, That Unicorn acknowledges that…
That Unicorn doesn’t like to leave things that need to be done hanging in the breeze. That’s not to say unicorns aren’t procrastinators. I certainly am. But even when it seems like I’m leaving something until the bitter end, I still have a plan lined up for getting it done. Unicorn planning is about preparing in a way that works for you.
Here’s the thing. That Unicorn is thoughtful—as in, she’s full of thoughts. If she doesn’t plan—and planning includes writing that plan down!—her brain will be so full of strategies that she won’t ever be able to get anything done. One of the best parts about having a plan is that you can then set your mind at ease. There is so much less to worry about when there is a road map in place. Even if things don’t go as expected, even if all or much of that plan ends up being scrapped, that plan will still serve as a jumping-off point for whatever it is that needs to happen or get done.
Virtually every aspect of life and virtually every person in your life can benefit from planning. That Unicorn likes to feel like she’s in control, rather than drifting through the unknown—that requires planning. How detailed the plan ends up is totally up to you and your comfort level. Maybe it’s just a list. Perhaps it’s a spreadsheet. Maybe it’s a whole notebook with every phone number and address and map. And, likely, it’s different depending on what is being planned for.
Plans change. That Unicorn understands that and is always ready to adjust. She isn’t attached to the plan for its own sake. What she is attached to is getting it done, whatever “it” is. So, if things need to shift, so be it. Of course, That Unicorn is not a pushover. Plans also don’t have to be changed just for the sake of changing them.
That Unicorn stands her ground when she’s confident that her plan is the best option. She doesn’t throw blueprints to the wind just because someone else would prefer to take the reins, especially if that person was nowhere to be found during the planning stages. Non-unicorns like to be the boss of things and think they can do it by winging it. Winging it can work. Planning always works.
Because not everyone is focused on being That Unicorn, flexibility is key. Otherwise, you don’t end up being That Unicorn; you end up being that stick-in-the-mud with no ability to change. Planning serves as the foundation. From that springboard, the situation has to be assessed as things progress. Flexibility means being able to work together with unicorns and non-unicorns and get the job, trip, project, event, or whatever done and done well, without losing your mind or sacrificing the integrity of what needs to get done.
No unicorn is an island. I repeat: no unicorn is an island. Just because you are doing all the prep work doesn’t mean you have to