However, in order to be moved there, Gerd had to be able to be tube-fed which first required an opening which, of course, would place additional, extreme stress on his body.
A few days later, a gastric feeding tube was inserted and Gerd was then immediately transported by ambulance to the neurological intensive care unit in the Bavarian Alps.
November 2011–January 2012 Neurological Clinic, Bavarian Alps
My mother and I drove there directly from home, in our own car, and waited in the hospital ward for Gerd’s arrival, which was delayed for hours. Naturally, I immediately regretted not accompanying him in the ambulance, but how would I have gotten back home later? Unfortunately, my mom never had a driver’s license herself. Due to a rare eye disease in her younger years, she never passed the requested visual test.
I didn’t muster the courage to ask the two paramedics why they had needed so long to get there. Gerd had been transported wearing only a hospital gown and his body was ice cold when he was finally lying in his new bed after a transportation time of more than three hours. Although he still wasn’t completely conscious, he screamed in pain and fear. The situation was gruesome and inhumane for all of us.
At the rehabilitation clinic, he was given his own room with a balcony, but the room wasn’t equipped for intensive care at all. I was very worried about how Gerd could even be monitored and fully cared for here.
But the worst was still before us. After a while, two neurologists appeared and spoke to Gerd with loud voices, “Sorry, Sir, but since you won’t talk to us, we have to annoy you a bit to see if you’re even feeling anything!” and then they took turns pinching Gerd’s shins!
At this point I just wanted to take my husband and flee the hospital right away, but again I didn’t have the courage!
At least, it got better later. The nurses were very friendly and caring, talked to him quietly and made a good impression on me.
Once his room was equipped with a monitor for observing Gerd’s vitals from the nurses’ station, I calmed down. For the first time, Gerd was fed via the new gastric feeding tube. When my mother and I left a few hours later, he was lying peacefully in his new bed.
Later that day, as I lay in bed myself, my thoughts were of course with Gerd. What awaited him at the new clinic? What progress could be expected? How would he fare? Was he being well taken care of? Who was taking care of him when I wasn’t there?
I still had to go to work every day and that meant driving fifteen miles to work and then, in the evening, all the way back to the Bavarian Alps. It was winter time so I had to spend several hours on the road each time and it wouldn’t be possible for me to visit Gerd every day during the week anymore. I poured all of my worries into my evening prayers which, of course, included the best wishes for Gerd’s recovery. This personal conversation with God allowed me to finally find peace and fall sound asleep.
When I awoke the next morning, I naturally wanted to know how Gerd had coped his first night in the new environment, but at the same time, I was afraid to call the clinic and hear the news. I mustered all of my courage and dialed the ward’s number. The response was far too short and matter-of-fact. Gerd had had a very restless night; otherwise, there was nothing to report.
That weekend, I went to the clinic early in the morning and was just about to go into his room, when a nurse pulled me aside. “Don’t be frightened Mrs. Kaehler, there’s news! This morning, when I went into his room to open the curtains, I said, ‘Good morning, Mr. Kaehler!’ like I always do, and was completely dumbfounded when I heard him respond, ‘Good morning!’ Gerd had sat up in bed on his own and responded to her greeting! She was so shocked; she had to sit down on a chair herself. “It was a situation that felt like someone had awakened from the dead!” It was the very first time since his heart attack, nearly four weeks prior, that Gerd had said anything comprehensible; and of all things after the gastric feeding tube procedure and the terrible ambulance transport the day before! That he even found the strength to sit up all by himself, simply was beyond imagination.
Completely overjoyed I hurried into the hospital room, but when I actually saw Gerd sitting up in bed, it hit me like a lightning bolt and I was only able to run out of the room before I fell to my knees in the hall, sobbing. Two nurses were immediately at my side supporting me. They didn’t try to persuade me to go back into the room, but instead understood that this new situation had literally knocked me over!
When I was finally able to approach Gerd, I realized this wasn’t the person I had expected. Outwardly, he looked like Gerd; he even looked fairly good. His facial expression was relaxed, betraying the stress he had endured over the last four weeks. But Gerd reacted like a stranger. His responses were uncertain and reserved.
For sure, he just had to get used to the new surroundings and that would certainly take some time, I tried to convince myself.
But it was far more than that. Gerd had left this world on October 25 and had now returned more or less involuntarily. He looked very distant and didn’t seem happy at all to be conscious again. Bit-by-bit, we learned more about his condition, without really understanding it. It was a good thing that he even recognized me. The doctor later told me there was a very good chance he wouldn’t remember anyone.
Gerd had no recollection of his heart attack at all. When we told him about it, he listened, amazed, and kept saying, “I don’t remember that at all. I just can’t remember.” And not just the day on which he’d had the heart attack; he couldn’t recall several years prior.
When the neurologist asked how old he was, he said he was thirty-five and lived in Tecumseh, Michigan. So he was living in a time when we had immigrated to the USA and our son was born. Apparently, he had particularly fond memories of that time, into which he kept fleeing. Thus, he often spoke to the nurses in English. Usually when he didn’t like something, he preferred to express his displeasure in English.
It was a true miracle he’d had the strength to sit up without help. But yet it was very painful for him to turn over.
Tests were ordered which showed several ribs had been broken during CPR. No one had paid attention to it thus far, so it was very good luck none of his broken ribs had perforated his lung!
Again we realized that Gerd had escaped death more than once, not just during the heart attack, but several times thereafter, for instance, the internal bleeding after the stent operation, the bilateral pneumonia, the high fever, the brain swelling, and now the broken ribs. It became clearer and clearer that there had to be a reason why Gerd was still on this Earth. And now his consciousness was fleeing to a happier time!
That day, Doreen Virtue posted this card online:
“Your card for today is reassuring you that there is a purpose, blessing, and lesson within every experience in your life. The painful experiences have changed your life, and hopefully you have come to terms with lessons and forgiveness, so that you don’t stay stuck in fear or anger. Once we learn the lesson of a repeated situation, we never have to experience that situation again. What have you learned in your life that has helped you to make peace with some of the painful experiences that you’ve gone through? Your past could help someone else who still needs to