A Different Way of Writing Scenes
Write It as a Drama First
Roughing Out a Scene as Drama First
Now for the Jokes
Making the Humor Easier to Find
Page Count
Part Two GETTING OFF TO A GREAT START AS A PROFESSIONAL SITCOM WRITER
Chapter 7 — YOUR FINISHED MASTERPIECE: NOW WHAT?
Now What?
“Who Cares What You Think?”
Someone Who Is Actually Going to Read It
“I Really Liked It Except for the Part Where…”
“There Is Truth in Even the Dumbest Note”
Three or Four People
“What Else Have You Got?”
May I Have the Address of That Show Biz Contact, Please?
Your Friend in Show Business
The Sitcom Universe
Where to Go in the Sitcom Universe
Fish Off the Company Pier
Farmer's Market
Chapter 8 — YOUR FIRST PITCH MEETING
Your Lucky Break Has Arrived
They're Doing You the Favor!
Preparing for the Meeting
Six Stories, Six Notions
How to Pitch a Story Idea
You Don't Need Perfect Pitch!
Pitch Meeting Supplies
Keep It in Perspective
Chapter 9 — YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT
The Story Meeting
Getting Home
Day Two
Day Three and Beyond
Notes on Your Outline
The Bad Story
Your First Draft
The Second Draft
Cut Off
They Rewrote Me!!
Go Ahead and Have the Party!
Getting That Second Assignment
The Sitcom Writing Staff
The Production Season
The Production Week
Single Camera Series
Your Primary Job as a Staff Writer
The Other Writers
Actors
The Producer's Chair
Creating Your Own Series
Your Personal Life
Chapter 11 — AGENTS & EXECUTIVES
Agents
Picking an Agent
A Business Relationship
Never the Biggest Fish
Grow at Your Own Pace
Not a Parent
Again, Trust Your Instincts
Chinatown
Executives
Be Nice
Everything Can Be Fixed
The Kernel of Truth
“We Have a Huge Problem in Act Two”
“We Have Just One Tiny Little Note”
Why Make Enemies When You Don't Have To?
Chapter 12 — LEARN FROM THE BEST
Where to Look
Websites
Speaking of Museums
What to Watch
The Current Hits
Conclusions
I Wish All of This for You
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This first-time author benefited greatly from the talent, energy, encouragement and experience of a number of professionals who generously contributed to make this project a success. My deepest appreciation and thanks to Michael Wiese for his support and invaluable input, to Ken Lee for one extremely good idea after another, to copy editor Paul Norlen for judicious and respectful guidance, and to Gina Mansfield for creating such a wonderful look. Much heartfelt thanks as well to my wife, Annette, for endless support and love, and to every single one of the brilliant writers who taught me everything I know, especially Bill Idelson.
INTRODUCTION
ELEPHANT BUCKS
“Elephant Bucks” is what one colleague used to call the big money that we were paid to write and produce TV sitcoms.
And it is big money! The minimum fee for a half-hour TV script is now around $21,000. Those are pretty good wages for a couple of weeks' work. Then there are residuals — the additional money that writers (and actors and directors) are paid every time an episode of a TV series is rerun. Residuals are little unexpected Christmas presents in your mailbox all year long!
But the big, big dough in TV sitcom, the real Elephant Bucks, comes from working on writing staffs and from owning “back-end points” — a share in the syndication profits — on a TV series. Salaries for top sitcom writer/producers can run over a million dollars a year. Back-end points for the creators of hit series can be worth tens of millions, sometimes even hundreds of millions for mega-hits like Friends and Seinfeld. Now those are Elephant Bucks!
HOW DID I GET ELEPHANT BUCKS?
I learned how to consistently write solid,