Elephant Bucks. Sheldon Bull. Читать онлайн. Newlib. NEWLIB.NET

Автор: Sheldon Bull
Издательство: Ingram
Серия:
Жанр произведения: Языкознание
Год издания: 0
isbn: 9781615930982
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Spec scripts that are that loopy probably won't get past the gate keepers anyway, but if a script like that does somehow make it to the production offices of a sitcom, do you know what happens? Someone, probably a writers' assistant, eventually reads it. The script then gets circulated around the office as a joke. It is laughed at by everyone, and then the pages are tossed in the recycle bin.

      Say you were writing a spec Friends. You wouldn't write an episode in which Chandler flies on the Space Shuttle. Why not? Because Chandler wasn't an astronaut! If you make Chandler into an astronaut, even for one episode, you are reinventing the series. You may not be sure what Chandler's job actually was, but we all know that he didn't work for NASA.

      You might say at this point, “But I want my spec script to be special and memorable. I want Chandler to fly in the Space Shuttle. I have it all planned out where Chandler accidentally substitutes for his friend who is an astronaut, and he's floating inside the Space Shuttle, and Phoebe is talking to him on the radio from Houston, and it's really, really, really funny. I think the producers of Friends would much rather read a script that shows some originality!”

      Originality is great! But altering the reality of the series is not being original. It's just ignoring the premise, the personality of the Main Character, and the formula. You want your spec script to demonstrate how well you understand the series as it is, not how far you carry it away from its roots.

      Don't marry J.D. to Elliot in a spec script. Don't have Alan Harper move out of Charlie's Malibu beach house, even if it's just temporary. Don't take the characters to places they have never been or where the series would never go in an effort to be unusual. If the series is going to break new ground, the producers will handle it. They don't want gigantic new ideas coming in from outside.

      Don't add important new characters that have never been in the series before.

      If you were writing a spec Two and a Half Men, you wouldn't add Charlie and Alan's mystery sister who has been in the Army but was never mentioned until now. You could certainly give Charlie and Alan a new neighbor or even a temporary girlfriend, but not some new family member. Adding a major new character like that changes the whole balance of the series. The producers would think long and hard before they took a step that large. It's not your place to do that. Your job is to prove how well you can write the characters that already exist.

      Use the paints that are already in the tray. Demonstrate your creativity, your writing skill and your knowledge of the series by utilizing the familiar elements of that series in a new and interesting way.

      Don't send the cast of How I Met Your Mother to Las Vegas. Not in a spec script. The producers of that series may someday decide to write a Las Vegas episode, or one that takes place in Hawaii, but those episodes are special. They are usually “sweeps” episodes designed for extra promotional value at certain times of the season. Again, your job with a spec script is to show how well you understand the series as it is. Your job is to tell a story within the parameters of the series, and that includes the regular sets.

      I wrote a spec M*A*S*H episode that got me a freelance assignment to write an actual M*A*S*H episode. To make my spec episode special, I decided to “test the premise.”

      I wanted to make my spec M*A*S*H stand out, so I asked myself, “What is M*A*S*H really about every week?” I was defining the premise for my spec script as I've asked you to do for your spec script. I decided that the premise of M*A*S*H had at least something to do with the irony of saving lives in the middle of a war. All the regular characters were doctors and nurses. They were in a war trying to sew together soldiers who had been maimed in that war. That was the premise from which the series worked. Then I asked myself about the personality of the Main Character. Hawkeye Pierce was an Active Main Character. He could be a plotter and a schemer. He was rebellious. He didn't want to be there. He was a great surgeon, and he saved a lot of lives. Hawkeye was so skilled and dedicated that his commanding officer put up with a lot of insubordination. Hawkeye was appalled by the war. He was a healer and a life-saver, not a soldier or a killer.

      How could I combine the premise of the series with the personality of the Main Character and come up with an original story that M*A*S*H had never told? I thought about it for a while, and then I asked myself, What if I “test the premise”? I wasn't going to reinvent the series. I was going to use the paints that were already in the tray, but I was going to push the envelope.

      To test the premise, I established in the opening scenes that Hawkeye had just pulled a horrendous shift, twenty-four hours in the O.R. without a break, one wounded soldier after another. When he finally is relieved, Hawkeye is exhausted. He staggers from the O.R., trying to get to his cot across the compound. It's the middle of the night. No one is around. Suddenly, a gun shot rings out. Hawkeye dives for cover. He's exhausted and scared to death, as anyone would be. More shots are heard. Hawkeye is joined by Col. Flagg. Flagg was a gung-ho CIA guy who hated Hawkeye. Flagg was the opposite of Hawkeye. Flagg loved the war. Flagg tells Hawkeye there's a sniper in the compound, probably some rogue North Korean soldier. Flagg shoves a pistol into Hawkeye's hand. Hawkeye refuses, but Flagg won't take the gun back. Flagg tells Hawkeye to keep low. Flagg runs off to try to catch the sniper. Hawkeye wants no part of this gun, but suddenly bullets are striking all around him. It's as if the sniper has seen Hawkeye and made him the target. The sniper is closing in. Hawkeye tries to escape, but the sniper has found him. Now Hawkeye is joined by a nurse. She is scared to death, too. The shots are raining down on Hawkeye and the nurse. Hawkeye and the nurse are going to die! It's up to Hawkeye to save them. In a moment of exhaustion, survival instinct and pure panic, Hawkeye points the gun blindly into the dark and fires. The shot miraculously finds its mark. Hawkeye hits the sniper. In later scenes, Hawkeye insists on operating on the sniper that he shot. He tries to save the sniper's life, but he can't. The sniper dies. Hawkeye is devastated.

      Funny, huh?

      This was an unusually dramatic episode, but the story tested the premise of M*A*S*H. Hawkeye, the healer, takes a life in order to save his own and that of a nurse. He defends himself in an attack, thus abandoning, for a moment, his pacifist beliefs. He gets a taste of what soldiers go through, and maybe now he'll be a little less judgmental and self-righteous.

      The producers of M*A*S*H didn't buy my spec script. That almost never happens. Don't think for a moment that you will ever sell your spec Two and a Half Men to the producers of that show. You won't. But by testing the premise with my spec M*A*S*H about the sniper, I got the attention of the producers of M*A*S*H.

      I didn't reinvent the series. I used the premise, the personality of the Main Character and the formula. I didn't introduce any important new characters. I used the regular sets. I used the paints that were already in the tray. I didn't go exploring outside the boundaries of the series, but I did push the envelope.

      That spec script got me a job writing an actual episode of M*A*S*H.

      A story works best when it's believable, even on a sitcom, especially on a sitcom! You know why? You're trying to be funny. Comedy works best when it's grounded in reality. Characters are funniest and most compelling when they behave as real human beings.

      Once you feel the inkling of a story for your spec sitcom script, I think it's worth a minute of your time to stop and give this question some thought: IS IT REAL?

      Am I telling a story that sounds plausible, not only for this particular sitcom, but plausible in terms of human behavior?

      Does Chandler going up in the Space Shuttle really sound very convincing? Whether Friends would have done an episode like this or not (and they wouldn't), is it believable that anybody who isn't an astronaut would end up on the Space Shuttle? I don't think so.