Tuckerman detailed the occupation of the female only if she were the main breadwinner. In all likelihood, the wife in each of these families played a more significant economic role than Tuckerman's silence would indicate. Ashley Bowen, for example, worked as a fisherman, rigger, and seaman in Marble-head for several decades. Romance was not absent from his life; he had seen his future wife in a dream even before they met and could recognize her because she had five moles on her cheek. Regardless of her appearance, she was a worker. As Bowen labored away on the rigging of a fishing vessel, his wife Dorothy patiently sewed “colors” (flags) for his customers. When Dorothy died in August 1771, Bowen did not waste much time in finding a replacement. By November he had found himself a widow, had her property appraised, whitewashed his house, took his former wife's chest to his father's place, and moved the widow's goods to his house. On December 8 he was married, and then it was back to work for Bowen and, we assume, his new wife.91
The economic role of women can also be seen by their acting as deputy husband in the absence of their spouse.92 Lydia Hill Almy lived independently during her husband's absence in the late 1790s, taking in boarders, settling accounts, and telling her father-in-law that it was none of his business how much money his son had left with her.93 Several sailors in 1812 signed over future privateering gains to their wives.94 Mary Ball worked hard to manage the family's affairs when her husband was at sea. Fisherman Richard Pedrick gave his wife a power of attorney to collect dividends in 1810.95 Two Marblehead women decided to split their sons’ or husbands’ prize money from two separate voyages.96 Joseph Hart's fictional Miriam Coffin told of a woman who abused her role as a deputy husband.97
Most women, however, were often left to their own devices when their husbands or lovers went to sea. This experience was not so much the result of a separate sphere as it was a consequence of a separated sphere—the physical distance from the males of the family.98 Many women along the waterfront earned their livings by washing, sewing, cooking, boarding, keeping a store, and even running houses of ill-repute. Some, especially those who were married to officers, retained a degree of independence. Many of these women did not live in opulence, and most had to work just to get by.99 In East Greenwich, Rhode Island, Cynthia Sprague and her mother, who was a widow of a ship captain, worked as seamstresses. Often they had so much business that they could hardly keep up with the demand, and Cynthia turned down an offer to work in a factory.100
Others struggled. Ann Ludlow of Lombard Street in New York had not heard from her husband in over a year in 1805. She managed to eke out a living by taking in washing, sewing, and a few boarders (two sailors and a rigger, with two young women in the upper floor) in her small apartment. She even turned to her father in New Jersey for financial help.101 Circumstances often compelled women into gray areas that left their neighbors wondering. A Mrs. Smith on Ann Street, whose husband was absent at sea, claimed to be making a living as a washerwoman. Others thought differently. George Leonard, a shoemaker who boarded next door, declared, “I have no doubt that it was a house of ill fame,” and felt that since it was a quiet establishment, it “was one of the best sort.” Seaman Jesse Casey, who boarded in the same house as Leonard, said that he visited Smith's three or four times a week when he was lonely. He did not believe it was a house of ill-repute, admitting that if it had been he might well have used her services. Having fallen behind in the rent, and under the accusation that she ran a house of prostitution, Smith was evicted.102
Many women faced hardship from a variety of causes, ranging from the difficulty making a living, the absence or loss of their spouse, or simply strains in their relationships. Thomas Gregory maintained contact with his wife while sailing for as long as fourteen months at a time. At one point his wife was ill, he got into debt, and he signed unto a voyage to Canton, China. His wife had to leave New York and stay with relatives in Norwalk, Connecticut. After he agreed to sail to the Orient four years later, Gregory explained that his wife “has anger herself quite sick” over the decision.103 June Hammond went through three Marblehead husbands; the first two were lost at sea when she was relatively young.104 Other circumstances could bring hardship to a family. The Eaton household in Brooklyn faced a crisis in 1840 because the father “drinks and wont work” and the mother “supports herself with one child and the 2 others live out.”105 Several women in Providence brought sick or disabled sailor husbands, sons, lovers, and boarders to the Marine Hospital.106
When confronted with adversity women often turned to one another for solace, comfort, and companionship.107 Cynthia Sprague was disconsolate when John Congdon went to sea in 1841. Their exact relationship is unclear, although they had obviously discussed marriage. As soon as Congden left she reported in her journal that she was “too overwrought with emotion” and her eyes were full of tears. She cried for days. In this trying period immediately following separation, she found her greatest relief in talks with Susan Salisbury, whom Cynthia declared “feels for and sympathizes with me like an affectionate sister.” Over the next year or so Cynthia and Susan visited each other almost daily, often staying at each other's houses and like sisters sharing the same bed. Cynthia also found support from the wife of one sailor who “knew how to sympathize with me” and told her the separation would be easier once she was married. A few months later Cynthia had the opportunity of reciprocating within the larger community of maritime women. She was asked to take her turn sitting up the night with a sick child. Although she was not feeling well, she joined the vigil, confiding, “but it is a Sailor's child, how could I say no.” She shared her duties that night with a married woman, probably a sailor's wife, and even participated in preparing the child's body for a funeral when it died several days later.108
The same bonds of community also operated in larger ports. The Reverend Henry Chase visited families all along the New York waterfront in the 1820s. In this intricately bound community, many religious women interacted with each another. His visit at Mr. Smith's at 96 Henry Street provides some suggestion of the network of support shared by waterfront women. Upon his first visit, triggered in part by Mrs. Smith and a Mrs. Wood attending the Mariner's Church, he discovered Mr. Smith was at sea, and was expected home soon. Mrs. Wood, whose father and husband had been lost at sea was at the Smith residence which was down the block from her own house and across the street from her mother's. (Wood may have been there to help because Mrs. Smith's invalid mother lived with her.) The next visit was more dramatic. Unfavorable news had arrived from Smith's ship, and they feared he was lost. Consoling Mrs. Smith was a Mrs. Conner, from nearby Harmon Street, who also attended the Mariner's Church and whose husband had perished off Cape Cod the year before. Through Chase's diary we can see women striving to maintain connections with their loved ones, and, in the case of Mrs. Smith, turning to other women in similar situations to sustain themselves.109
Many of the women Chase visited were mothers as well as wives. After Chase offered his sympathies to Mrs. Smith, he crossed the street to find Mrs. Wood at her mother's. Apparently they were anxious, prompting Chase to commented in his diary: “Son of Mrs. Head [Wood's mother] just going to sea.”110 Several other women he visited had sons preparing for voyages. The main relationship that most seamen would have with a female before they went to sea was with their mothers. This close bond is evident in the fact that several young men on privateers signed over their share of future prize money to their mothers.111 It was also not unusual for a sailor to recall his mother with fondness as he was about to die. Despite living what he described as a “profligate and dark life,” Richard Sheel thought of the Methodism of his mother as he confronted death at the Marine Hospital in New York City in 1837.112
Mrs. Wood's concern for her brother, after she had lost a husband and a father, suggests a genuine attachment between a sister and a maritime brother, as expressed in the Bayley letter to his sister Lavina. That some sisters viewed their mariner brothers with maternal affection can be seen in a poem by William Alfred Allen's sister after he died at sea in 1849.
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