The Completely Non-Authoritative Guide to Japan. Paul Nowak

extra paper? Well, how about taking a sheet and making 212 mathematically precise folds to create one of those white birds that stands on top of a hippopotamus and eats parasites?

      POIGNANT MOMENTS FROM THE WORLD OF ORIGAMI

      The Japanese have a great aptitude for long, complicated procedures. A Christmas gift may be ignored, but a 4” by 4” piece of the wrapping will be instantly folded into an anatomically correct crab with working claws. These ornaments signify the creator’s good wishes when given as presents. If someone falls ill, a thousand folded cranes are given as a get-well gift. Each consists of 21 folds and takes three minutes—that’s 21,000 folds and 50 hours of effort. This resulting meter-long mobile is hung over the patient’s bed. It is definitely considered rude to die after receiving such a present.

      NOT SO POIGNANT MOMENTS FROM THE WORLD OF ORIGAMI

      COMMUNICATION

      What best explains the Japanese economic miracle? How has Japan managed to surpass all other countries in terms of her productivity and standard of living? One of the answers to this question is the unique Japanese style of communication and interpersonal sensitivity. For the Japanese, one of the most valued traits is to be sasshi ga ii, or good at guessing. In other words, you must be able to sense the other person’s feelings and then act in a way that will not contradict him. This one societal characteristic explains the phenomenal smoothness of life in Japan. For example:

      Person A: Is the boss mad?

      Person B: I don’t know. Is he? What gives you the impression that he’s mad?

      Person A: Just, in my heart, I feel like he’s angry. Don’t you feel so?

      Person B: In my heart, I feel something, but I don’t know what.

      (Person B collapses on the floor in a pool of blood with a knife in his chest as the boss is courteously taken away by police after a preliminary cup of green tea.)

      KOWAI: A WORD USED, AMONG OTHERS, BY 10-YEAR-OLD GIRLS...

      ... TO DENOTE ANYTHING ...

      ... VAGUELY TERRIFYING

      The Japanese language itself is famous for its ambiguities, and for its devices which can be used for avoiding confrontation. To linguists, and other people who specialize in covering up the truth and common sense with ludicrous and laborious research full of self-generated data and hypotheses, Japanese is a delicate instrument which guides relations in peace and harmony. But to the Japanese themselves, and to foreign speakers of Japanese, the meaning is clear. For example:

Ee, chotto:	You’re an idiot.
Do kana:	You’re a goddam idiot.
Nan deshoo:	Go to hell, idiot.
Doshite mon deshoo ne:	Isn’t your visa about expired?
Fushigi desu ne are wa:	No, he’s not in the yakuza. Call him a baka.
Nan daroo:	Here, catch this javelin.
li deshoo:	The pool only looks empty. Go on, jump in.

      A brief look at the development of the written word, or kanji, in Japan clearly demonstrates its nod and wink origins.

      PALM READING

      What kind of person are you? Why spend your life in self-analysis when you could visit a rickety, mumbling grandmother, who will reveal all in a flurry of flattery inspired by the lines on your hand. The origins of palm reading are obscure, but it’s ancient and Chinese, so it must mean something. In Tokyo, you can walk down any major street and quickly find what looks like some old woman scolding a renegade offspring for not washing their hands. Stop! You’ve found a palm reader.

      These self-employed soothsayers cover a bridge table with a tablecloth, hang up a Chinatown gift-shop lantern (complete with All-Seeing Eye), and within minutes, giggling women in their twenties approach to be silenced by these Delphic Oracle TV University dropouts as they make remarks such as, “There’s a block caused by your aunt’s jealousy of your beauty” and “If you add an extra egg, it comes out more fluffy.”

      Everyone in Japan is suspiciously familiar with this spurious science of wrinkles and callouses, and many can tell you your probability of marriage, happiness, and an enlarged prostate, even without the help of these parapsychological derelicts.

      WHAT YOUR PALM CAN TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR FUTURE (MAYBE)

      POLITICS