The temptation is always there to compare ourselves with others; but the problem with this is that too often, we only look at the best parts of someone else’s life, whether it’s the amount of money they have or how beautiful or in shape they are. We read magazines and compare our appearance to that of a model or celebrity. What if that famous person spent years feeling depressed about how he or she looked, and had plastic surgery? Or that model secretly starved herself because she’s unhappy with her body? We don’t compare ourselves with that aspect of their lives.
Life isn’t a contest or a competition, and getting in shape certainly isn’t. If right now you can only reach your knees in a stretch, let that be your starting point, and make it a competition with yourself to reach farther the next month and the month after that. Or if your goal is to eat less, start by eating 100 calories less per day, instead of something drastic like 1,000 calories. Next month, eat 200 calories less per day. Don’t worry about the person next to you progressing faster than you.
Now let’s imagine that you’re the friend that everyone is jealous of because you lost 20 pounds. You’ll feel pretty good about yourself, and you should. It’s hard work losing any amount of weight. But don’t feel too good, don’t feel like you’re better than everyone else. You should never think you’re the best. If you’re climbing a mountain and you get to the peak, where’s the only place left for you to go? Down. We’ve seen it happen to the greatest of champions. They get to the top, become complacent, and lose it all. Even after training in Taekwondo for over 40 years, I still don’t think of myself as the best. Whether it’s being a practitioner of Taekwondo or an instructor, I think of myself not at the peak of the mountain but somewhere near the top. That way, when I look up, I still have a goal to reach for. I never take for granted the skills I’ve acquired over the years but at the same time, I’m not satisfied either. I’m still hungry to improve. So I still keep practicing and thinking of innovative ways to teach my students.
And when I look down, I see how much progress I’ve made. When I think I’ve hit a plateau, I look down and realize that perseverance and an indomitable spirit got me to this stage—and they’ll help me get farther up the mountain.
Like most people, I’m not naturally flexible. As a matter of fact, I have to stretch out regularly in order to maintain my flexibility. But that’s precisely why I can help you become more flexible than ever before.
Yes, maybe someone who is triple jointed might be able to teach you some exercises to become more flexible, just like someone that was born into a lot of money might be able to teach you how to get rich. But I’d much rather learn how to make money from the person that started with nothing, and stretching from the individual that had to work to become flexible.
I believe there are a handful of top athletes who achieved their status through hard training, and some of them can also teach their craft well. But at the same time, I feel that most of them were gifted individuals who got to where they are through the right guidance.
What I’m trying to say is, don’t judge a book by it’s cover. There are trainers and there are athletes—the athletes look super and the trainers look so-so. While the athletes worked hard to look and perform at their best, the trainers are the experts in helping the athletes reach their goals.
In martial arts, one of the main points that’s always stressed is proper respect, especially respect toward your teacher. Too often, we just look at the final product, and don’t pay enough attention to all the dedicated, underlying work. Like after watching a great movie, the audience might comment on how great the acting, the story, or the action was, and then just head out, never waiting to view the credits of the supporting team that made the movie so great.
Imagine that you have to cross a river and there is a bridge to get you to the other side; I want you to think of your teacher/trainer as the bridge that you need to use to get from one point to another, from being out of shape to being in shape. Just because a trainer doesn’t have less than five percent body fat and isn’t chiseled like someone on the cover of a fitness magazine doesn’t mean that this person hasn’t got the knowledge and experience to get you into tip-top shape.
In martial arts, it is very common for the instructor to yell at the students in order to command authority or to discipline students (especially younger ones). This rule is also pretty common practice in many households where children don’t listen. The parents feel that they must raise their voices, or sometimes even their hands, in order to control their kids.
I have a totally different approach to teaching martial arts. I don’t believe that a teacher/trainer has to be on their students’ backs, screaming at them all the time, like those exercise or extreme weight-loss infomercials on TV. I’m sure, if you wanted to, you could have joined the Armed Forces or a military bootcamp class, where a drill sergeant screams continuously at you. So what happens when there’s no one behind you, pushing you to exercise? Everyone chooses how they want to train, but my philosophy of fitness is to exercise for life.
In this book, my eating or training methods might not seem all that rigorous to some of you, but you’re going to be surprised—if you follow my program properly, you will get into the best mental and physical shape of your life!
Our bodies are not made to take too much abuse, especially as we age. We must practice caution when exercising, and even with our eating. Any drastic measures or quick-fix solutions are not the way to go. Exercising and eating properly is a habit you want to engage in every day of your life.
When you last saw yourself in the mirror, were you happy with the way you looked? And right now, are you happy with the way you feel about yourself?
If the answer is no, then what are you going to do about it?
Do you want to continue feeling like this? Aren’t you sick and tired of how you let yourself go, and how you’ve come to this point in your life?
For many people, when they feel that the task is too great, they don’t even bother to attempt it. That’s often the case when it comes to getting into shape. People often feel that they are fighting a losing battle, and admit defeat before the battle even begins.
I’m sure all of you know the progression of a child’s development. In the beginning, they can hardly move or sit up; then they learn to roll, then they start to crawl; then, to everyone’s amazement, they take their first steps.
Tell me what happens next?
They might stumble, they might even fall. But then the child gets back up, makes another attempt at it, because they know that one of these days they’ll be able to do it. Even the child knows that walking feels a lot better than crawling, and there’s no way they’re going back to crawling.
Everyone can do it—it doesn’t begin with huge giant steps, it starts with small ones. But you must have an open-minded, positive attitude. It’s going to be tough, of course. There will definitely be setbacks. You’ll have your bad days, but I can also tell you, you’ll probably have many more good ones.
Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts. But the sooner you get started, the easier the journey will become. Every step you take, regardless of how small they are, will be “giant” steps in the right direction.
Life is constantly changing, whether you like it or not. When you were young, the only thing that mattered to you was yourself. As you matured, you acquired knowledge and developed friendships and intimate relationships. Then came reality, that new job followed by a promotion, or perhaps a new start-up business. While this was happening maybe you developed a serious relationship, which resulted in marriage. Maybe you decided to have a child, then perhaps another one or two. Then came school, and all the activities that your children were involved in. Before you know it, your personal time becomes less and less. When does your time ever come again? “Probably never!” you might say.
You’re right,