She had called my psychology office requesting to enter psychotherapy. I was well aware that I knew nothing of African American culture. I felt inadequate to treat her and told her so. But, when I expressed my concerns to her, she was adamant in her desire to continue with me and in a therapy group made up of white, upper-middle class women. To say that we all learned a lot is an understatement!
I looked around to see what education I could find for myself on treating diverse populations. At that time, there was little available, but I found a class called “Race Matters” and quickly signed on for a weekend intensive experience. I was the only heterosexual, White Anglo Saxon Protestant in a class of twenty-five or so students. Where were the rest of us, the dominant culture?
What I learned was invaluable! I only wish that every member of the dominant culture, i.e. caucasian heterosexuals, could take a similar class. We discussed the implications of privilege in ways I had never previously considered or realized. I had never thought of myself as terribly privileged. I had started working as a young teenager. And I had worked all through college, unlike many of the young women I considered truly privileged who didn’t have to work. My ignorance really showed!
I learned to be the first to extend myself in any encounter with a minority person, even if I risked rebuff. It was up to me to take that risk, because of my privileged status, and it was actually much less physically and emotionally risky for a person from the dominant culture to do this than for a member of a minority group. I learned to try to be sensitive to cultural issues, though I often failed. But, learning to fail gracefully was part of the learning. When I made a mistake, I had to learn to apologize for my ignorance or insensitivity and try harder. There was so much to learn!
I had a Ph.D. and thought of myself as an intelligent person with liberal leanings. I experienced my own ignorance and felt humiliated. At the same time, I was delighted by the opportunity to learn and practice a new way; a way that would bring the richness of increased diversity to my everyday life.
When the class was over, I didn’t necessarily know much more about African American culture; but, I had learned more about my own assumptions about life, in general, and how they didn’t necessarily apply to everyone, as I had foolishly assumed.
So, back to my patient… She welcomed me into her world, and though there were certainly rocky moments, our affection for one another has continued over the ensuing years. Though she moved to the opposite coast some years ago, we have remained in close contact.
Because of my experience with my African American patient, and my “Race Matters” class, and because of my interest in women’s issues, in general, I began to think about how it might be that African American women, usually perceived to be from the bottom rung of the social and economic hierarchy of the United States could rise up to succeed and claim their destiny in such diverse ways. These women often seemed to be invisible, no matter their achievements or the actual circumstances of their backgrounds. I imagined that they must have valuable wisdom to impart and that someone just needed to ask them about themselves. I also thought that the Civil Rights movement and the Women’s Rights movement had come about in close proximity time-wise. And, that as a result, the opportunities for African American women’s achievements to be recognized were probably more possible now than ever before as the cross-currents of these two social movements converged.
In addition, I believed that African American women born during segregation, and still alive today, would represent a particular segment of U.S. history that would not be repeated. Their stories needed to be told!
So, I set about to interview accomplished (in the broadest sense of the word) African American women. I asked them to tell me their life stories and how they achieved what they had achieved. Thirty of them did just that, offering their stories along with their wisdom and advice to others.
How did I find them? How did I choose them? Well, I started by asking my patient. And, then I began cutting out magazine and newspaper articles about African American women and I developed a very thick file of them. I approached women who just looked interesting (“Oh, hello. I’m writing a book. May I interview you?”) And, friends and colleagues gave me names and telephone numbers of women they knew and recommended.
I sent letters of introduction and followed up on those who responded, flying all over the United States to interview these generous women. More times than not, I would have to stop the interview midway, as my interviewee and I took time to compose ourselves, before continuing, because the conversations were emotional.
Each interview was wonderful in it’s depth and complexity, and I would call my husband after each one to say, “Now, this one was really amazing!”
I have abiding respect for these amazing women, who are clearly just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. They have seen to it that people around them are made better just because of knowing them. I am better for having known them!
And, so, this book is the story, not only of thirty accomplished African American women, but also of my own journey in meeting and interacting with them. It has been a delightful and enriching experience, which also had its frustrations and challenging moments. But, then overcoming obstacles is part of every woman’s story.
My teacher, Albert Sombrero, a Navajo man and Spirit Guide, says that it is time to repair the Sacred Hoop. By this, he means that at this time in history, all races and creeds are meant to come together in peace and understanding for the healing of our world and it’s people. He says that his grandfather told him that this turn of events signals the beginning of “The Glittering Time.” This book is meant to be a contribution to that goal as we enter The Glittering Time. May it be so.
—Sonnee Weedn, Ph. D. 2011
Preface
African American women hold a unique place in the history of the United States of America. The prejudice and discrimination they have experienced has been well documented and need not be reviewed here. Suffice it to say; overcoming the particular obstacles of racism and sexism, sometimes combined with poverty and poor educational opportunities, previously advertised as separate but equal, takes great courage, creativity, perseverance, and strength of character.
What is it within the characters of so many African American women that sets them apart and allows them to claim their destiny, bringing forth their particular gifts and talents in order to support themselves and contribute to their families and communities? There are likely to be many theories about this. However, in this book, I identified seven character strengths that are apparent to me in the development of African American women’s ability to thrive despite the challenges they experience as a result of being subject to the unique circumstances that are the historical legacy of all African American women today.
Women typically identify themselves in any number of ways. We are daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, teachers, cooks, nurses, and on and on. The titles and categories are endless. As children, we are full of possibilities and may grow up to embody any number of roles as we form our personalities. In this process of forming our adult identities we, hopefully, begin to see our characteristic strengths, combined with our particular gifts and talents.
Some women have had the good fortune to be able to nurture these strengths in ways that have allowed them to bring them to full fruition. For others, one or two of their strengths have been identified and utilized, while others are less well developed. Some women, though adults, are just beginning the process of self-awareness. Everyone starts somewhere.
This book is meant to honor all women, who despite many forward strides, still face discrimination in the workplace, and make up large numbers of the disenfranchised. However, this book is especially meant to honor and highlight the strengths of African American women, who have usually had to face the double discrimination of being female and black, and thus have had to work harder than their sisters of other ethnicities to rise to their full potential. They have much to offer all of us with their examples of faith and perseverance, as well as their sage advice.
It