Concubinage is an institution still somewhat prevalent in my country, although not half as widespread as in China. I am told that the institution of mistresses can still be found in the Americas and in Europe. Originally the concubine system of Asia grew out of the Oriental custom of having to perpetuate family tradition through the male lineage. Therefore, if a wife failed to give birth to a son, the husband was permitted to keep a concubine or two in order to secure a son. The average husband today, however, finds it difficult to provide only for his wife and children. So the system here is rapidly disappearing.
Therefore, to keep a concubine is looked upon as a sign of prosperity. The system in Japan is a product of our family life in which the wife, to all intents and purposes, occupies a position of servant or even virtual slave. The Japanese male, moreover, has no opportunity to meet women socially, such as at cocktail or dinner parties. The parties they attend are, almost without exception, stag affairs, waited upon by professional hostesses. Besides, divorce is a thing not lightly resorted to in my country, as we are very critical of divorces, and to be divorced usually lowers one's prestige and reputation in the eyes of others. Such being the case, once married to a woman, a man has to continue with her, irrespective of what happens, even if there is little love or affection between them. As he becomes more wealthy, the Japanese man has more occasion to frequent teahouses and restaurants. If he is a businessman or a politician, a great deal of business is transacted at such places. Geisha hostesses at the teahouses are usually beautiful, more beautiful than his wife, who ages rather quickly because of domestic drudgery and frequent childbirth. Geisha compete with each other to obtain a patron, so as to secure for themselves a means of living when they grow old. The rich client, on his part, tries to keep one favorite girl in order to put up a show of prosperity, with its consequent enhancement of his social prestige.
I know one business executive who is opposed to the very idea of concubinage and who therefore has never shown any liking for these professional girls. He once told me in confidence that he was distinctly at a handicap in his business dealings, for his prestige suffered a great deal on account of his not keeping a concubine!
Concubinage is naturally a source of serious family disputes, but the Japanese wife usually has to submit finally to this intolerable situation. She usually makes up for her misery and unhappiness in the loving care of her children.
Although since the war our young women have come to mix more freely with young men, they are still backward in their ideas and manners, and do not know how to behave properly in a mixed gathering. In Shanghai, where there was a large Japanese colony before the war, American or European consuls used to hold large receptions. Many leading officials and businessmen of my country were invited to these functions with their wives. The Japanese guests, after passing the reception line, lost no time in separating according to sex: the men left their wives and engaged in conversation and drinking with other men; the wives themselves congregated in a group. Thus there was complete segregation until the time came for the couples to leave.
Japanese women usually make good wives when they marry Westerners. On the other hand marriages between Japanese men and foreign girls have often proved to be failures. Nowhere is Kipling's adage that "East is East and West is West" truer than in the case of a Japanese man's marriage to an Occidental woman, for Japanese men have not learned chivalry in the Western sense of the word. This shortcoming results in an attitude toward women often unnatural and uncouth. Moreover, Japanese men, however Westernized in their youth, become more Japanese as they grow older and tend to revert more and more to typical Japanese ways.
A rather prominent Japanese businessman, when he was in the London office of his firm, married an English girl, and the couple lived a happy married life for more than twenty years in various parts of Europe and America. They reared two lovely Eurasian children and were a popular couple wherever they went. His firm, a business company of international renown, paid him liberally, so he and his family lived a life of comparative luxury. When the Pacific War broke out, the couple were repatriated to Japan, this being the English wife's first visit to her husband's country. Things started to go wrong with the couple as soon as they arrived in Japan. The wife, who was used to a good living and was somewhat spoiled, found the wartime austerity and privation in Japan too much to bear. When near the end of the war a large-scale American bombing set fire to the city in which they lived, the husband quit the house in a hurry to seek refuge, leaving his wife and children in the house, which was in serious danger. The British wife was so disgusted by this act and others that she finally made up her mind to leave her husband once and for all and as soon as transportation was available went back to England with her children.
The late Dr. Nitobe, an internationally-famed publicist, who worked for years in the secretariat of the now defunct League of Nations in Geneva, had an American wife. Theirs was generally conceded to be one of the most successful East-West marriages. In spite of this, Dr. Nitobe in his late years was said to have been miserable as far as his meals were concerned. He was starving for chazuke, a Japanese meal consisting of hot tea poured over boiled rice and eaten with pickles. His wife, however, insisted on Western food, and there were disagreements. Many a time Dr. Nitobe used to slip into the kitchen in the middle of the night and prepare the Japanese meal himself.
While such cases of unfortunate East and West marriages have been all too numerous, Japanese women who have married Westerners generally make exemplary wives.
In the early Meiji era, that is, around the 'nineties of the last century, not long after Japan was opened for foreign intercourse, the Austro-Hungarian Empire maintained a legation in Tokyo. Count Coudenhove was stationed in Tokyo as military attache to the legation. This youthful Austrian, who came from a very distinguished family, used to go horseback riding every morning. While riding one day this nobleman met and fell in love with a Japanese woman, by the name of Mitsuko, whom he eventually married. Upon their return to Austria the Coudenhoves led a very happy life, and Countess Coudenhove, despite many handicaps, was duly accepted in Viennese high society, which in the days of the Austro-Hungarian Empire was exceedingly glamorous. Dainty little Mitsuko was not only a popular social figure in Vienna, but true to her Japanese tradition, a good wife who bore and reared eight children. The Coudenhove children were brought up in the Japanese tradition of filial piety and paternalism, and they all became useful citizens of the empire. The eldest son, Richard Coudenhove-Kalergi, was the author of a celebrated book on Pan-Europe, and he, together with Aristide Briand, long-time foreign minister of France, was largely instrumental in the creation of the League of Nations after the first World War.
I knew another son of Count and Countess Coudenhove who was adviser to the Japanese Legation in Prague, Czechoslovakia, where I served in prewar years. This Mr. Coudenhove was an exceedingly affable man and a popular figure in diplomatic circles in Prague. He did much to interpret Japan to European peoples, and I remember his paying frequent visits to his mother, Countess Coudenhove, who had already reached an advanced age and was living in seclusion in a castle near Vienna. The Coudenhove children were the embodiment of all that is best in the Japanese tradition of family life.
Mention must also be made of Lady Arnold of London. Her deceased husband was an eminent British educator, who was knighted by the king many years ago. Lady Arnold is a Japanese woman of considerable charm and intelligence and has been a popular figure in London social circles. She has done much to further the cause of Anglo-Japanese friendship and has lived up to the best traditions of Japanese womanhood.
Another Japanese woman of international fame is Oyuki Morgan, a Kyoto-born girl who married George D. Morgan, a nephew of J. P. Morgan of the fabulous Morgan family. She lived in pomp and luxury and in her later years resided in Nice on the French Riviera. Some years ago, Oyuki, then a widow, was so homesick that she decided to come back to her native Kyoto to live in retirement. When she returned to her native country, however, she was besieged day and night by numerous people, from canvassers who tried to sell her life insurance policies to those unscrupulous people who attempted to extort money by various dishonest means, knowing that she still enjoyed a chunk of the fabulous Morgan fortune. Realizing that everyone had an eye on her fortune, Oyuki was visibly annoyed and did not find her seclusion in Kyoto at all secure. She has kept to herself and is not at home to anyone except the priest of the Xavier Church to which she belongs.