When to Tell
After you’ve shared your happy news with your family and close friends, you may wonder when you should tell your colleagues and your boss that you are expecting. Unless you need to request time off for pregnancy-related illness, there are no real legal deadlines for notifying your employer until late in your pregnancy, when you might need to request leave thirty days in advance of taking off for childbirth (see chapter 2 for more information). Still, at some point before that it will be apparent to those around you that your body is changing. Ultimately, the decision of when to tell others about your pregnancy is yours. That being said, there are a few things you should consider when making your decision.
As you have probably heard, the most uncertain period of your pregnancy is the first trimester, when miscarriages are more common. You may not want to give notice of your pregnancy at work too early, only to confront the pain of sharing the news of a miscarriage with your employer too. Keeping the secret to yourself for a while can also give you time to do some initial digging about your employer’s leave policies and some research about state and federal laws that might apply to you.
On the other hand, you may find it hard to stay quiet when you are exhausted, are feeling nauseated, and could really benefit from the support of your colleagues. Telling select colleagues early may allow you to talk openly with those you trust and find out how your employer has handled others’ pregnancies and leaves of absence before yours. Telling your boss can help you avoid health risks for you and your baby if you work in a job with safety hazards and will give your boss more time to digest the news, adjust to any restrictions that your pregnancy poses, and prepare for your leave. Sharing your news early also may generate goodwill from your boss (a valuable commodity!), who will certainly appreciate the extra time to plan around your maternity leave.
If your employer has a human resources department, you might consider telling them about your pregnancy first, before telling your supervisor. They may know more about the company’s policies than your boss does. However, be aware that the HR department’s first priority is your employer, not you. The department is not there to protect your interests.
It all boils down to how you feel about your work environment. If you feel comfortable and confident that your employer will take your news well, then by all means feel free to share as soon as you want. Beware, however, that a previously supportive supervisor can turn nasty once you’ve announced your pregnancy. We hear stories like this all the time through our hotline. If you already suspect that your news may not be well received, don’t feel pressure to disclose your pregnancy before you are ready. Take your time!
What to Say
When you do decide to tell your boss about your pregnancy, keep in mind that your happy news may be a source of stress for him or her. Despite the fact that the majority of working women return to work after giving birth, and most very successfully, some employers still fear that pregnancy and motherhood will mean losing a dedicated employee. To ease any worry your boss may have, reassure him or her that you are committed to your job and that you plan to return to work after the baby arrives. Offer your help in planning for your absence—for example, in planning who will cover your work while you are gone and how/if you will stay in touch while you are on leave. Be prepared for a conversation about maternity leave, and do your homework so that you know what the law guarantees and what you want to request from your employer (see chapter 2 for more information on the law, and take a look at the chapter 2 resources page for templates and tips to guide you in your negotiation). This will help you to negotiate the best possible outcome for you and your family.
So far, we’ve been assuming that you want to return to work after your baby arrives. But what if you don’t want to? It can be hard to anticipate how you will feel post-baby. The idea of caring for a dependent little person while also going to work every day may seem daunting in those early weeks. But you might also crave some independence and the benefits that work provides (not the least of which is money!). Give yourself time to make this decision so that you don’t close any doors on yourself unnecessarily.
DID HE REALLY JUST SAY THAT? CONFRONTING DISCRIMINATION AT WORK
Susan worked diligently for a small magazine for over a year, traveling and spending extensive time away from her fiancé. As her wedding date neared, her boss started asking whether her fiancé earned a good living and about her plans for starting a family. He even threatened, “You better not get pregnant on your honeymoon because we need you here.” Her coworkers also repeatedly told her she should not get pregnant on her honeymoon. Despite her excellent performance reviews, Susan was fired just a few weeks before she left on her honeymoon.
Even though discrimination based on pregnancy has been illegal for thirty-five years, bias against pregnant women is still common today. Some of this bias is tied to assumptions about child-care responsibilities and a pregnant woman’s future dedication to work (see chapter 4 for more). But some is just bias based on pregnancy itself. This kind of discrimination can have serious consequences, forcing a woman out of her job or into a lower-paying position with fewer benefits and opportunities. We want to help you know how to identify illegal discrimination and learn what you can do to protect yourself should it happen to you.
Keep in mind that even if your employer does something illegal under the law, litigation may not be the most effective strategy for you. For example, it may be too hard to prove that your suspicions are right if you don’t have enough evidence to show discrimination. Or you may not want to jeopardize your career in a particular field by filing a claim against your current employer. Or maybe you just don’t want to deal with the time and expense of litigation. Knowing your rights up front may help you to avoid the worst-case scenario of litigation and keep you healthy and earning a paycheck. We hope the information we offer here can help empower you to stand up for yourself or seek help as soon as you sense a problem. Prevention is often the best medicine.
The Pregnancy Discrimination Act in a Nutshell
WHAT?
The Pregnancy Discrimination Act (PDA) is a federal law that prohibits unfair treatment of women because of their pregnancy. It requires employers to treat women affected by pregnancy, childbirth, or related medical conditions the same as other job applicants or employees who are similarly limited in their ability to work (such as someone who has an injured back, for example).
WHO?
If you work for a private employer with fifteen or more employees, you are protected by the PDA. You are also covered if you work for state or local government. The law protects you as a job applicant from unlawful discrimination in hiring decisions as well. If you work for a private employer with fewer than fifteen employees, check our guide at the end of this book to see whether your state has a sex discrimination law that applies to smaller workplaces.
WHEN?
The PDA kicks in when you become pregnant, but it may also protect you when you are not yet pregnant or have already given birth. For example, if your boss is hostile or unaccommodating because she or he thinks you are pregnant or thinks you may become pregnant, that could be illegal. The PDA might also protect you after you come back from maternity leave, depending on the circumstances.
HOW?
The law prohibits your employer from discriminating against you in any aspect of employment, which includes hiring, firing, pay, job assignments, promotions, layoffs, training, fringe benefits such as leave and health insurance, and any other term or condition of employment. Harassment based on pregnancy is also unlawful. Your employer also cannot force you to take a leave from work if you are still willing and able to do your job. Your employer must treat you the same as other employees who temporarily can’t do their jobs—for example, if someone with a broken hand is given modified work or someone recovering from heart surgery is given unpaid leave, you as a pregnant woman or brand-new mom are entitled to the same treatment.
WHY?
Discrimination based on sex was outlawed across the United States in 1964, but women were still routinely