be able to keep any mental
blizzards from happening.
The truth is, that’s just
not possible.
Some days stir
up irritation,
impatience,
or uncertainty.
Other days
bring more
intense
feelings
like sadness,
anxiety, or
anger. One
thing’s guaran-
teed, though:
Every girl gets
shaken up by
something.
Storm Warnings
Do everyday troubles shake you up a little or a lot?
Give each situation your personal storm rating.
1. Your dolphin jigsaw puzzle has 1,001 pieces
in 1,000 shades of gray. It took you three weeks
to put it together . . . and it’s taken your
little sister three seconds to fling it apart.
a. major blizzard
b. a few flurries
c. clear skies
2. Mr. Yao, Mr. Bitterburst, and Ms. Leinhosen
must be conspiring. How else could you have
a science test, a book report, and a history
project due on the same day—again?
a. major blizzard
b. a few flurries
c. clear skies
3. Aisha’s mom thinks bronzer and colored lip
balm don’t count as makeup. Your mom says
they do, and there’s no way you’re wearing
them to school.
a. major blizzard
b. a few flurries
c. clear skies
4. Yesterday you got up the courage to
tell Camrelle that you kind of like A.J.
Today A.J. told Camrelle that he kind
of likes Mimi.
a. major blizzard
b. a few flurries
c. clear skies
5. Your parents can’t agree on where
you’re spending Thanksgiving—Mom’s house
or Dad’s. You’re starting to feel like a wish-
bone about to be tugged in two.
a. major blizzard
b. a few flurries
c. clear skies
6. No. That strip of toilet paper has not
been hanging from the waistband of
your jeans for the entire last hour.
a. major blizzard
b. a few flurries
c. clear skies
Answers
Did you have lots of a’s or b’s?
You’re hardly alone. What rattles
you may be completely different
from what rattles a friend, but
every girl runs into rough weath-
er and needs a few ways to help
the storms inside her settle. How
can you do that? It all begins
with your breath.
Catching Your Breath
What’s your breathing like, right this second? If you’re curled up in a chair and
feeling relaxed, your breaths are probably slow and gentle. Next time you’re
mad—really mad!—or watching a scary part in a movie, or riding a roller
coaster as it’s chugging up the tallest hill of the track, you might notice that
something’s different. Your breathing may be faster. Or maybe, without
even having decided to . . .
This happens because the way we breathe helps our bodies and brains
respond to whatever’s going on around or inside us. When you’re excited,
mad, or scared, you tend to suck in air and breathe faster, which charges
up your nervous system. This revving up can be super-useful—if you need
to run a race or dash away from a situation.
Of course, the things that most often stir up a girl’s day—drama with friends,
an unfinished book report, or a disagreement with parents—aren’t things
she can physically run from. She can’t just get rid of the uncomfortable
feelings that come up in these situations, either.
So what’s a girl to do? It really helps if you can find a way to stop fighting the
swirling thoughts and feelings and simply let them settle, like flakes in a snow
globe. When you’re able to do that, you can see your way clear to deal with
the problem.
Luckily, your breath can help here, too.
Breathing Easy
Start by noticing what happens when you breathe. You don’t need to make
your breaths deeper or longer, or change them at all. Just see how your
breathing feels. Are your breaths slow or fast? Do you feel your chest or belly
expand when you breathe in? Does the air feel cool as it passes through your
nose or mouth?
These are things we don’t usually notice. But here’s an amazing fact: Simply
tuning in to your breathing can help you start to feel less jangled.
You can settle yourself even more by doing this simple breathing exercise:
Try this a few more times. You may start to notice that your breath wants to
take a little pause just after you’ve exhaled. If so, let yourself enjoy this tiny
moment of quiet and calm before you breathe in again.
By paying attention to your breath, and by breathing deeply and slowly, you
are helping to trigger a different part of your nervous system—the part that
loosens you up and calms you down.