Ask just outside your most immediate circle of friends. Chances are if you have a friend in your immediate circle of friends who is at a similar point of wanting to get fitter and better across the board, they’re already your training partner. If they’re not, well, for heaven’s sake, ask them. More likely though, if you’ve been talking about fitness and haven’t found an immediate friend who’s interested, you need to cast a wider net.
I can think of several times in my life when I had a particular fitness goal (in one instance it was endurance running), and I was making mention of it to pretty much all of my immediate friends. One finally said: “You know, you should talk to my friend Yanni. He used to run all the time. I think he still does. He’d probably be down to train together.” So I talked to him, he said he was always looking for a new running buddy, and we started running together.
So, ask others for recommendations. Even if you don’t feel comfortable bugging all your friends about their friends, try posting on Facebook that you’re looking for folks who want to train together. People will come out of the woodwork. I do recommend (whether it’s on faith or fitness), trying to focus Facebook posts so that it’s an invitation to specific training or accountability, etc. This prevents the all-too-common: “Man, there’s ANOTHER post from Kaiser. Does he do ANYTHING other than post about obstacle racing and Catholicism? Tuning him out!” It’s that syndrome that can happen when people feel bombarded by someone’s Facebook feed. And, as in all things social, don’t throw safety to the wind. Be smart about who, where, and when you plan to meet someone you don’t know really well.
Train for something in particular. Here’s another example from my own experience. Before obstacle racing, I had only one occasional training partner. When I started training for my second race, like I recommended above, I posted about it on Facebook. Suddenly, I had someone to train with every day of the week. Friends who wanted to run, acquaintances who wanted to lift, people who wanted to train specifically for obstacle racing and didn’t know how into it I was. (By the time I registered for my second race, I had stopped talking about how I was “getting into” obstacle racing, and had moved on to “I obstacle race.”)
Now, I have friends of friends who say, “Hey, I heard you were into obstacle racing, wanna train together?” The same proves true for friends who mention frequently or publicly that they’re training for a marathon (heck, even a 5k!), starting a CrossFit class, cycling, or rock climbing. If you pick a sport, or an event, and talk publicly about it or post about it on social media, I promise you’ll find other people who are doing the same, even among people you’re kind of already friends with and can get along with.
Even if you don’t find them immediately, do the event or the sport or the class. Some of my training partners are people I’ve met at a race, sometimes even during the race. I pass them or they pass me, and at the finish we end up introducing ourselves!
Find someone better than you. In general, you want someone who’s going to push you. Ideally, you can find someone who’s either, like, 10% better than you, or is better in one area but you’re better in another. Basically, if someone’s a 100% better athlete than you, they’re not necessarily going to get much out of being training partners, so it probably won’t work long term. But if they’re a little better than you, you can probably still give each other the push, the encouragement, and the competition that will help you both thrive. Or, if you have complementary skill sets, you can both challenge each other’s weaknesses with your strengths and create a really dynamic environment.
My friend Jeff is a much better runner than I am, but I’m stronger than he is. When we train together, we push each other outside of our wheelhouses to grow and be better. Again, the same holds true in our faith lives. Find people who embody a virtue or a spiritual life that inspires you. Spend more time with them, talk with them, and grow with them and from them.
So, in faith and in fitness, finding a “training partner” keeps us encouraged, accountable, and striving to get better, do better, and be better. But to get to “better” means that not only must we have a fixed ideal we’re progressing toward, we must know specifically where we’re starting from. How do we figure that out? Well, read on.
Chapter Five
The Examen
“The Christian soul knows it needs Divine Help and therefore turns to him Who loved us even while we were yet sinners. Examination of conscience, instead of inducing morbidity, thereby becomes an occasion of joy.”
— Servant of God Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
Pretty much every fitness company, resource, or book (this one included) will encourage you to both talk to a physician or other medical professional before beginning a fitness program, as well as take a close and serious look at your life to see where you’re starting from, and where you want to get to. Unfortunately, when people start a fitness program, they nearly always start based on where they wish they were physically, rather than where they really are.
Saint Ignatius of Loyola begins his Spiritual Exercises by recommending we start every day with an Examen, an examination of our conscience. It forces us to pause a moment, be honest with ourselves as to what our current state of our life is, draw awareness to what sins and imperfections we are fighting, and consciously resolve to improve those that day. He then says that we should do a second examination around midday and a third at night, so that throughout the day we are checking in with ourselves and God to see where we are, and where we need to be.
Saint Ignatius’s call to us to examine our consciences and spiritual lives daily echoes throughout our Catholic tradition. As early as the writing of 1 Corinthians (11:27–31, if you want to get specific) Saint Paul calls for, at minimum, a weekly examination of our lives to discern whether we are in a state of grace sufficient to receive holy Communion. Likewise, a competent spiritual director will help us take an honest inventory of where we are before suggesting where we need to grow and how we might do that.
As far as prayer and the spiritual life go, in this book I’ve tried to incorporate things into the text and the “workouts” that all can benefit from, and yet most of us don’t do. But, in almost no realm of life is there such a thing as a “one-size-fits-all” solution. So, it’s always good to seek the guidance of a competent pastor, spiritual director, deacon, religious brother or sister, or lay minister.
But when it comes to fitness, how can we figure out where we are starting from? When I used to work as a personal trainer, I would always have clients start by telling me about any injuries, surgeries, etc., they had had. In the case of joint replacements, major hospitalizations, or entire muscles being removed or permanently altered, get the help of a professional physical therapist. There are ways to heal our bodies from almost any starting point, but you will need something a little more custom-tailored.
Here I’m going to break down starting points in general fitness, strength, speed, endurance, and flexibility so you can have a working idea of where to begin.
I. General Fitness
How do I feel? This may seem like a silly or woo-woo question, but it’s actually a pretty good starting place. If you’re honest with yourself, do you feel like you’re a beginner, intermediate, or advanced athlete? Does the word athlete intimidate you, feel good when you try it on for size, or do you scoff at it? (In which case, come on, let’s calm down on the pride front a little bit here.) Again, be honest.
How long has it been since I worked out regularly? If the answer is “never” to “one year ago,” consider yourself a beginner. Every opportunity you have to take pride out of the