Give Him the priority time, the time He deserves as God. This time can be in the morning before you are caught up in the busyness of the day. That’s the time I like to pray. Other people like to pray at the end of the day before bedtime. Some people pray during the day. The particular time you pray doesn’t matter very much; think about what works with your schedule. What matters is making the time, and sticking to it.
The second step is finding the right place to pray. For most of us this will be somewhere in our homes. It might be the corner of a spare bedroom, an old couch in the family room downstairs, or a nook in your apartment. It could also be in church after morning Mass. Wherever you choose should be a quiet place, as free from clutter and visual distractions as possible. It’s a good idea to stick to the same prayer place every day if you can. Over time it will become your sacred space and when you go there, you’re ready to pray.
The next step is identifying what you should bring to prayer. This varies considerably from person to person. I’ll share what I do. Keep in mind this is only an example of what one man does. I bring a Bible, my journal, a devotional, my planner, a pad, and a pen. I keep the pad around to jot down any distractions—the thoughts that interrupt my focus on God. I’ve found that I can get rid of distractions more easily if I write them down and tell myself that I’ll think about them later. I usually read the daily Scriptures from a devotional, typically The Word Among Us magazine, and meditate on their wonderful reflections. I read and underline important Scriptures in my Bible. I use my journal to write any insights—things that the Lord is saying to me.
I always write down what the Lord has spoken to me, any senses or particular things I’ve offered to Him in prayer. I found this helpful because it’s easy to go from a place of faith to a place of unbelief in our lives. A journal allows me to keep a record of God’s promises and action in my life. It is a beautiful way to remind myself of His presence and to give thanks to God for the good things He has done.
You will have to adjust your prayer time according to circumstances and seasons in life. Parents of small children will find it difficult to stick to a set prayer time. Illness will keep you in bed. You will travel. There will be times when work and family responsibilities will be so great that you scramble to find time to do everything that needs to be done. By all means make the necessary adjustments to your prayer time. You’ll be better able to cope with these pressures if you’ve already established the habit of regular personal prayer.
Your prayer will change over time. You might want to read more Scripture, spend more time silently listening, less time on something else. Pray about what you should do in prayer. Be led by the Holy Spirit. Be like the old peasant who spent hours before the crucifix in the church pastored by St. John Vianney, the Cure of Ars. One day St. John asked the man what he did in his time of prayer. The peasant said, “I look at Him, and He looks at me.”
Lord, Teach us to Pray
Our teacher in prayer is Jesus. When the disciples wanted to know how to pray, they went to the Lord and asked Him. He said:
Pray then like this:
Our Father who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us;
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
(Mt 6:9–13)
The Our Father is Jesus’ most explicit teaching about prayer. What follows is a part-by-part analysis of what Jesus teaches us in the Our Father (much of this is inspired by Fr. Michael Scanlan’s excellent book Appointment with God.)
Our Father who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
The Our Father begins with praise. This is the natural starting point for prayer—praising God for who He is, thanking Him for the many blessings He has showered on us. Jesus praised His Father: “Father, I thank you that you have heard me” (Jn 11:41). “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth” (Lk 10:21). In the Liturgy of the Hours, the Church praises God throughout the day, every day, everywhere in the world. I like to praise God by praying the Psalms, such as Psalm 105:
O give thanks to the Lord, call on his name,
make known his deeds among the peoples!
Sing to him, sing praises to him,
tell of all his wonderful works!
Glory in his holy name;
let the hearts of those who seek the Lord
rejoice!
Seek the Lord and his strength,
seek his presence continually.
(Ps 105:1–4)
Beginning our prayer with praise helps us get in the proper posture before God. He is God and we are His creatures, He is our Father and we are His children. He is our Lord and Savior and we are His disciples!
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Next we listen to the Lord and hear what He has to say to us. Scripture is an essential help to hearing God in prayer. Take one of the readings from the Mass of the day, for example, and read it slowly and prayerfully. Ask the Lord to speak to you through it. As I mentioned before, write down any promises from the Lord, words of encouragement, direction, or key Scripture passages.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell God, “Thy will be done.” It can be a struggle to align your will and God’s will. This struggle, the place where our will crosses with the Father’s will, is where the cross is applied to our lives. It is what Jesus felt as He was wrestling in Gethsemane before His passion. This is part of a real life of prayer. We come to Him in personal prayer to learn to do His will—Thy will be done.
Give us this day our daily bread.
Next, we surrender our daily needs to God and intercede on behalf of others. The Lord is concerned about you and the things you’re concerned about. Jesus says that we should ask the Lord for what we need. We should pray for our needs, the needs of others, and for those of the world. The Father is a real Father—we are His children, and children can freely ask their fathers for what they want. The Lord wants to know your heart and your desires. Personally, in order to help me remain faithful in intercession, I keep a sticky note in the front of my journal with a list of people and things I’m praying for.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
Forgiveness is an essential part of following Christ (more on forgiveness in chapter 4). Prayer is real, not imaginary, and in daily prayer we face up to our failures and sins honestly. The Father wants us to take off our masks and be who we are before Him. He already knows who we are. He wants us to know who we are too—sinners in need of forgiveness, but also His children whom He intends to transform from the inside out. We can come to Him and say, “Father forgive me. I need your help.”
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
Shortly after my conversion I had the rude awakening to the reality that I could still yield to my temptations and fall into sin. I fell to impure thoughts. I was humbled by my weakness especially in