Then the question was put to him who was the best jailer in all the prisons in France.
The dog performed three evolutions around the circle and laid himself, with the deepest respect, at the feet of Monsieur de Chavi-
gny, who at first seemed inclined to like the joke and laughed long and loud, but a frown succeeded, and he bit his lips with vexation. Then the duke put to Pistache this difficult question, who was the greatest thief in the world?
Pistache went again around the circle, but stopped at no one, and at last went to the door and began to scratch and bark.
"See, gentlemen," said M. de Beaufort, "this wonderful animal, not finding here what I ask for, seeks it out of doors; you shall,
however, have his answer. Pistache, my friend, come here. Is not the greatest thief in the world, Monsieur (the king's secretary) Le
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Camus, who came to Paris with twenty francs in his pocket and who now possesses ten millions?" The dog shook his head.
"Then is it not," resumed the duke, "the Superintendent Emery, who gave his son, when he was married, three hundred thousand francs and a house, compared to which the Tuileries are a heap of ruins and the Louvre a paltry building?"
The dog again shook his head as if to say "no."
"Then," said the prisoner, "let's think who it can be. Can it be, can it possibly be, the 'Illustrious Coxcomb, Mazarin de Piscina,' hey?" Pistache made violent signs that it was, by raising and lowering his head eight or ten times successively.
"Gentlemen, you see," said the duke to those present, who dared not even smile, "that it is the 'Illustrious Coxcomb' who is the
greatest thief in the world; at least, according to Pistache."
"Let us go on to another of his exercises."
"Gentlemen!"--there was a profound silence in the room when the duke again addressed them--"do you not remember that the Duc de Guise taught all the dogs in Paris to jump for Mademoiselle de Pons, whom he styled 'the fairest of the fair?' Pistache is go-ing to show you how superior he is to all other dogs. Monsieur de Chavigny, be so good as to lend me your cane."
Monsieur de Chavigny handed his cane to Monsieur de Beaufort. Monsieur de Beaufort placed it horizontally at the height of one foot.
"Now, Pistache, my good dog, jump the height of this cane for Madame de Montbazon."
"But," interposed Monsieur de Chavigny, "it seems to me that Pistache is only doing what other dogs have done when they jumped for Mademoiselle de Pons."
"Stop," said the duke, "Pistache, jump for the queen." And he raised his cane six inches higher. The dog sprang, and in spite of the height jumped lightly over it.
"And now," said the duke, raising it still six inches higher, "jump for the king." The dog obeyed and jumped quickly over the cane.
"Now, then," said the duke, and as he spoke, lowered the cane almost level with the ground; "Pistache, my friend, jump for the 'Illustrious Coxcomb, Mazarin de Piscina.'"
The dog turned his back to the cane.
"What," asked the duke, "what do you mean?" and he gave him the cane again, first making a semicircle from the head to the tail of
Pistache. "Jump then, Monsieur Pistache."
But Pistache, as at first, turned round on his legs and stood with his back to the cane.
Monsieur de Beaufort made the experiment a third time, but by this time Pistache's patience was exhausted; he threw himself furiously upon the cane, wrested it from the hands of the prince and broke it with his teeth.
Monsieur de Beaufort took the pieces out of his mouth and presented them with great formality to Monsieur de Chavigny, saying that for that evening the entertainment was ended, but in three months it should be repeated, when Pistache would have learned a few new tricks.
Three days afterward Pistache was found dead--poisoned.
Then the duke said openly that his dog had been killed by a drug with which they meant to poison him; and one day after dinner he
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went to bed, calling out that he had pains in his stomach and that Mazarin had poisoned him.
This fresh impertinence reached the ears of the cardinal and alarmed him greatly. The donjon of Vincennes was considered very unhealthy and Madame de Rambouillet had said that the room in which the Marechal Ornano and the Grand Prior de Vendome had died was worth its weight in arsenic--a bon mot which had great success. So it was ordered the prisoner was henceforth to eat nothing that had not previously been tasted, and La Ramee was in consequence placed near him as taster.
Every kind of revenge was practiced upon the duke by the governor in return for the insults of the innocent Pistache. De Chavigny, who, according to report, was a son of Richelieu's, and had been a creature of the late cardinal's, understood tyranny. He took from the duke all the steel knives and silver forks and replaced them with silver knives and wooden forks, pretending that as he had been informed that the duke was to pass all his life at Vincennes, he was afraid of his prisoner attempting suicide. A fortnight afterward the duke, going to the tennis court, found two rows of trees about the size of his little finger planted by the roadside; he asked what they were for and was told that they were to shade him from the sun on some future day. One morning the gardener went to him and told him, as if to please him, that he was going to plant a bed of asparagus for his especial use. Now, since, as every one knows, asparagus takes four years in coming to perfection, this civility infuriated Monsieur de Beaufort.
At last his patience was exhausted. He assembled his keepers, and notwithstanding his well-known difficulty of utterance, addressed
them as follows:
"Gentlemen! will you permit a grandson of Henry IV. to be overwhelmed with insults and ignominy?
"Odds fish! as my grandfather used to say, I once reigned in Paris! do you know that? I had the king and Monsieur the whole of one day in my care. The queen at that time liked me and called me the most honest man in the kingdom. Gentlemen and citizens, set me free; I shall go to the Louvre and strangle Mazarin. You shall be my body-guard. I will make you all captains, with good pensions! Odds fish! On! march forward!"
But eloquent as he might be, the eloquence of the grandson of Henry IV. did not touch those hearts of stone; not one man stirred, so Monsieur de Beaufort was obliged to be satisfied with calling them all kinds of rascals underneath the sun.
Sometimes, when Monsieur de Chavigny paid him a visit, the duke used to ask him what he should think if he saw an army of Parisians, all fully armed, appear at Vincennes to deliver him from prison.
"My lord," answered De Chavigny, with a low bow, "I have on the ramparts twenty pieces of artillery and in my casemates thirty thousand guns. I should bombard the troops till not one grain of gunpowder was unexploded."
"Yes, but after you had fired off your thirty thousand guns they would take the donjon; the donjon being taken, I should be obliged
to let them hang you--at which I should be most unhappy, certainly." And in his turn the duke bowed low to Monsieur de Chavigny.
"For myself, on the other hand, my lord," returned the governor, "when the first rebel should pass the threshold of my postern doors I should be obliged to kill you with my own hand, since you were confided peculiarly to my care and as I am obliged to give you up, dead or alive."
And once more he bowed low before his highness.
These bitter-sweet pleasantries lasted ten minutes, sometimes longer, but always finished thus:
Monsieur de Chavigny, turning toward the door, used to call out: "Halloo! La Ramee!" La Ramee came into the room.
"La Ramee, I recommend Monsieur le Duc to you, particularly; treat him as a man of his rank and family ought to be treated; that