to impress upon the growing girl, when the occasion presents itself, that a thought or a feeling can never be sinful. An action may be, but a thought or a feeling cannot. Why? Because we are not responsible for our thoughts and feelings; they are not under our control. Though it does not mean that when they do arise we are to give them full sway. We should attempt to combat them and drive them away, but there is nothing to be ashamed of, because for their origin we are not responsible. Responsible for Actions. Our actions are under our control, to a certain extent at least, and if we do a bad or injurious act, we have committed a sin and are morally responsible. The desire for the sexual act is no more sinful than the desire for food is when one is hungry. But the performance of the act may, under certain circumstances, be as sinful as the eating of food which the hungry man obtained by robbing another fellow-being, just as poor as himself. I am not preaching to you. But I am not an extremist nor a hypocrite. I am advocating neither asceticism nor licentiousness. One is as bad, or almost as bad, as the other. [64]What I am trying to do is to inculcate in your minds, if possible, a sane, well-balanced view of all things sexual. For I believe that wrong, perverted views of the physiology and hygiene of the sex act and of sex morality, that is, the proper relationship of the sexes, are responsible for untold misery, for incalculable suffering. Both sexes suffer, but the female sex suffers more. The woman always pays more. This is due to her natural disabilities (menstruation, pregnancy, lactation), to her age-long repression, to the fact that she must be sought but never seek, and to her economic dependence. For the above reasons, sex instruction is a matter of double importance to woman--this fact has been emphasized in the first chapter. But woman's disabilities impose upon us another duty: because she carries the heaviest burden, because she always pays more dearly than the man, it becomes incumbent upon man to treat her with special consideration, with genuine kindness and chivalry. 17 [65] Chapter FiveToC PUBERTY Physical Changes in Puberty--Physical Changes in the Genital Organs and in the Rest of the Body--Psychic Changes--Puberty and Adolescence--Nubility. Puberty is the most wonderful, the most significant period in a girl's life. Important as it is in a boy's life and development, it is still more so in a girl's. At this period there are often laid the foundations which either make or mar the girl's future life. The meaning of the word puberty is maturity. It is the period at which the girl and the boy reach sexual maturity; in other words, the period at which the sex glands of the boy begin to generate spermatozoa, and the sex glands of the girl begin to mature and expel eggs or ova; with the girl puberty is marked by an additional phenomenon, which has no analogue in the boy, namely, menstruation. Physical Changes. The word puberty is derived from the word puber, which in Latin means mature, ripe. But the word puber is itself derived from the word pubes, which in Latin means fine hair [66]or down. For at this period of maturity all mammals (that is animals which have breasts and nurse their young) begin to develop a growth of hair. You know that our entire body, with the exception of the palms of the hands and the soles of the feet, is covered with innumerable hair follicles, and from our birth our entire body, with the exception named, is covered with fine hair. The hair may be too delicate to be seen, but it is there, and with a magnifying glass you can see it without any trouble. But at puberty the hair increases in thickness and in quantity, and becomes abundant in places where it was hardly noticeable before--the upper lip and face in boys, and the armpits and lower part of the abdomen in both boys and girls. And so the first apparent physical sign of puberty in a girl is the gradual appearance of hair in the armpits, on the mons Veneris and the labia majora. But all the genital organs are undergoing rapid development; the vulva, the vagina, the uterus and the ovaries become larger, and the ovaries which up to that time were elaborating an internal secretion only, now also begin to manufacture ova; in other words, the monthly process of ovulation is begun. Synchronously with the process of ovulation, there commences the monthly function of menstruation. The breasts also increase in size, assume [67]the characteristic contour, develop their glandular substance, and become capable of secreting milk for the use of any possible offspring. During this period of development they are often very sensitive to the touch or feel painful without being touched. But not only the genital organs undergo growth and development--the entire body participates in the process. The growth in height is the most rapid at this period; the greatest growth takes place in the limbs--legs and arms. The pelvis becomes broader, and the chest or thorax also becomes broader and larger. The muscles become larger and rounder and finally give the girl the beautiful womanly form. Psychic Changes. But the changes are not only physical; the changes that take place in the girl's psychic sphere during the pubertal years are also highly important. That is the period of the development of the emotions; she is overflowing with emotion; she becomes sensitive; in her relations with boys and men she becomes self-conscious. Distinct sexual desire fortunately does not make its appearance in the girl at this period, as it does in the boy, but she becomes filled with vague undefined and undefinable longings. It is the period of "crushes" when the girl is apt to bestow her overflowing emotion on a girl friend. There is nothing [68]reprehensible in these crushes--they act as a safety valve--and only in rare cases are they apt to lead to abnormal development. This is also the pe-riod of day-dreaming and of romancing; the girl likes to read love-stories and novels in which she identifies herself with the heroine. And it makes quite some difference as to what the girl reads during this period, for literature has a strong influence on the young in the most plastic period of their lives; and it is important that older persons see to it that those in their care spend their time on books of noble ideals and high artistic value. Girls of a highly sensitive or so-called "nervous" temperament, especially if there is "nervousness" in the family, must be particularly looked after. For it is during the years of puberty and adolescence that any neurotic traits are apt to develop and become emphasized. It is also the period when bad sexual habits (masturbation) are apt to develop, and the careful mother will devote special attention to her girls in their years of puberty, and guard them as much as possible against physical and emotional shocks. 18 The age of puberty in girls is by many writers considered as synonymous or synchronous with the onset of menstruation, which in this country in the majority of cases occurs between the ages of [69]thirteen and fourteen. The year of gradual development before the onset of menstruation is by some referred to as the pre-pubertal year; and the first year after the onset of menstruation is the post-pubertal year. The period from puberty to full sexual maturity is called adolescence, and this term is applied generally to the pe-riod between thirteen and eighteen. For at eighteen the boy and the girl have reached full maturity. Mentally we acquire things as long as we live, and even physically the body gets larger for some years after eighteen. But sexually both boys and girls are fully mature at eighteen, though in order to become parents it is best, for various reasons, to wait to the ages of twenty or twenty-five. Nubility. Nubility is the age or state when a boy or a girl is "fit" for marriage. This is a vague and unsatisfactory term. At the age of thirteen to fifteen boys and girls are physically "fit" for marriage, that is at that age a boy is capable of begetting and a girl of having children. But it does not mean that it would be advisable for them to marry at such an early age. Neither their bodies nor their minds are fully developed, and children begotten of such young parents are apt to be weaklings, both mentally and physically. The youngest age for girls [70]to marry should be eighteen, and for boys twenty; but the youngest age for becoming parents should be twenty to twenty-two for the mother and twenty-three to twenty-five for the father. [71] Chapter SixToC MENSTRUATION Definition of Menstruation--Where Menstrual Blood Comes From--Age of Menstruation--Age of Cessation of Menstruation-- Duration--Amount--Regularity and Irregularity. The first function with which the girl will be confronted, which will impress upon her that she is a creature of sex, that she is decidedly different from the boy, is menstruation. And this function we will now proceed to study. What is menstruation? Menstruation is a monthly discharge of blood. The word is derived from the Latin word mensis, which means a month; and menstruation is also frequently spoken of as the menses. It is also called the catamenia or catamenia-flow (Greek, kata--by, men--a month). Other terms are: the periods, courses, monthlies, turns, monthly changes, monthly sickness, sickness, flowers, to be unwell, to be regular. "Not to see anything" is a common term for having missed the menses. This flow of blood recurs in most cases with remarkable regularity once a month; not a calendar month, but once a lunar month, i.e., once every twenty-eight [72]days. And as there are thirteen lunar months a year, a woman menstruates not twelve but thirteen times a year. Where does the menstrual blood come from? The menstrual blood comes from the inside of the womb. Every month, for a few days prior to menstruation, the inside lining of the
