"I am interrupted every day by salesmen for everything on earth except one. But the life insurance agents leave me alone!" laughed a
very fat young lawyer friend of ours the other morning--and he went on ordering ham and eggs, waffles, potatoes and coffee!
That he is eating years off his life doesn't trouble the fat man, however. He has such a good time doing it![Pg 47]
"I Should Worry," Says the Fat Man
It was no accident that "Ish ka bibble" was invented by the Hebrew. For this race has proportionately more fat people in it than any other and fat people just naturally believe worry is useless. But the fat man gets this philosophy from the same source that gives him most of his other traits--his predominating system.
Digestion and Contentment
The eating of delicious food is one of the most intense and poignant pleasures of life. The digestion of food, when one possesses the splendid machinery for it which characterizes the Alimentive, gives a deep feeling of serenity and contentment.
Since the fat man is always just going to a big meal or in the process of digesting one he does not give himself a chance to become ill natured. His own and the world's troubles sit lightly upon him.
The Most Popular Type Socially
"The life of the party" is the fat man or that pleasing, adaptable, feminine creature, the fat woman. No matter what comes or goes they have a good time and it is such an infectious one that others catch it from them.[Pg 48]
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Did you ever notice how things pick up when the fat ones appear? Every hostess anticipates their arrival with pleasure and welcomes them with relief. She knows that she can relax now, and sure enough, Fatty hasn't his hat off till the atmosphere shows improvement. By the time Chubby gets into the parlor and passes a few of her sunny remarks the wheels are oiled for the evening and they don't run down till the last plump guest has said good night.
So it is no wonder that fat people spend almost every evening at a party. They get so many more invitations than the rest of us!
Likes Complacent People
People who take things as they find them are the ones the Alimentive prefers for friends, not only because, like the rest of us, he likes his own kind of folks, but because the other kind seem incongruous to him. He takes the attitude that resistance is a waste of energy. He knows other and easier ways of getting what he desires.
There are types who take a lively interest in those who are different from them, but not the Alimentive. He prefers easy-going, hospitable, complacent friends whose homes and hearts are always open[Pg 49] and whose minds run on the simple, personal things.
The reason for this is obvious. All of us like the people, situations, experiences and environments which bring out our natural ten-
dencies, which call into play those reflexes and reactions to which we tend naturally.
Chooses Food-Loving Friends
"Let's have something to eat" is a phrase whose hospitality has broken more ice and warmed more hearts than any other, unless perchance that rapidly disappearing "let's have something to drink." The fat person keeps at the head of his list those homey souls who set a good table and excel in the art of third and fourth helpings.
Because he is a very adaptable sort of individual this type can reconcile himself to the other kind whenever it serves his purpose. But the tenderest spots in his heart are reserved for those who encourage him in his favorite indoor sport.
When He Doesn't Like You
A fat man seldom dislikes anybody very hard or for very long.
Really disliking anybody requires the expenditure of a good deal of energy and hating people is the[Pg 50] most strenuous work in the world. So the Alimentive refuses to take even his dislikes to heart. He is a consistent conserver of steam and this fact is one of the secrets of his success.
He applies this principle to everything in life. So he travels smoothly through his dealings with others.
Holds Few Grudges
"Forget it" is another phrase originated by the fat people. You will hear them say it more often than any other type. And what is more, they excel the rest of us in putting it into practice. The result is that their nerves are usually in better working order. This type runs down his batteries less frequently than any other.
Avoids the "Ologists"
When he takes the trouble to think about it there are a few kinds of people the Alimentive does not care for. The man who is bent on discussing the problems of the universe, the highbrow who wants to practise his new relativity lecture on him, the theorist who is given to lengthy expatiations, and all advocates of new isms and ologies are avoided by the pure Alimentive. He calls them faddists, fanatics and fools.[Pg 51]
When he sees a highbrow approaching, instead of having it out with him as some of the other types would, he finds he has important business somewhere else. Thus he preserves his temperature, something that in the average fat man seldom goes far above normal.
No Theorist
Theories are the bane of this type. He just naturally doesn't believe in them. Scientific discoveries, unless they have to do with some new means of adding to his personal comforts, are taboo. The next time this one about "fat men dying young" is mentioned in his presence listen to his jolly roar. The speed with which he disposes of it will be beautiful to see!
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"Say, I feel like a million dollars!" he will assure you if you read this chapter to him. "And I'll bet the folks who wrote that book are a
pair of grouches who have forgotten what a square meal tastes like!"
Where the T-Bones Go
When you catch a three-inch steak homeward bound you will usually find it tucked under the arm of a well-rounded householder. When his salary positively prohibits the comforts of parlor,[Pg 52] bedroom and other parts of the house the fat man will still see to it that the kitchen does not lack for provender.
Describes His Food
The fat person likes to regale you with alluring descriptions of what he had for breakfast, what he has ordered for lunch and what he is planning for dinner--and the rarebit he has on the program for after the theater.
Eats His Way to the Grave
Most of us are committing suicide by inches in one form or another--and always in that form which is inherent in our type.
The Alimentive eats his way to the grave and has at least this much to say for it: it is more delightful than the pet weaknesses by
which the other types hasten the final curtain.
Diseases He Is Most Susceptible To
Diabetes is more common among this type than any other. Apoplexy comes next, especially if the fat man is also a florid man with a fast heart or an inclination to high blood pressure. A sudden breaking down of any or several of the vital organs is also[Pg 53] likely to occur to fat people earlier than to others. It is the price they pay for their years of over-eating.
Overtaxed heart, kidneys and liver are inevitable results of too much food.
So the man you call "fat and husky" is fat but not husky, according to the statistics.
Fat Men and Influenza
During the historic Spanish Influenza epidemic of 1918 more fat people succumbed than all other types combined. This fact was a source of surprise and much discussion on the part of newspapers, but not of the scientists. The big question in treating this disease and its twin, Pneumonia, is: will the heart hold out? Fat seriously handicaps the heart.
The Fat Man's Ford Engine
The human heart weighs less than a pound but it is the one organ in all our machinery that never takes a rest. It is the engine of the human car, and what a faithful little motor too--like the Ford engine which it so much resembles. If you live to be forty