Integrity. Anna Borgeryd

both hands and looked at him tentatively, ‘Mmmm,’ she said finally and took a sip from the cup.

      He took a deep breath and continued:

      ‘Then there’s the fact that… well, you know Cissi. She’s furious.’

      Vera blinked, surprised. After a second she shuddered and answered quietly, ‘Oh, I didn’t think of that.’

      ‘What’s happened?’ asked Solveig kindly.

      Stressed, Vera wiped her hand across her forehead and said: ‘You know, the project I was selected for. I just felt like…’ She glanced self-consciously at Peter and went quiet.

      Peter looked at her and continued: ‘You felt maybe that you wouldn’t be allowed to do it the way you wanted to?’

      Which was code for his gnawing suspicion, and Peter turned red in humiliation. Vera also turned red and nodded.

      Solveig looked from one to the other. Vera broke the silence: ‘Yes, and anyway, I slept really badly last night because I was in so much pain. And I felt like I just couldn’t keep at it when it felt… meaningless.’

      The word pierced Peter as if she had said it about him.

      Vera wiped her nose with a rose-patterned napkin. She sighed and, turning toward Solveig, continued.

      ‘So I quit. It’s just that it’s affected my advisor, who has really helped me a lot.’

      She looked so sad that Peter forgot himself. ‘It wasn’t that bad. And you don’t have to have much to do with me. I mean, to get your chapter accepted. Talk to her. Explain the situation. I am sure it can be resolved.’

      Vera looked at him with worried eyes. She finally nodded with her lips clamped shut. She looked at the wall clock and got up, taking her cup and saucer with her.

      ‘I’m sorry, but I have to go now. Solveig, thank you for the tea.’

      Peter also got up. ‘It’s lovely in here!’ He nodded towards the hand-embroidered lace tablecloth and the elegant porcelain. ‘Perhaps I inadvertently barged in while you were celebrating something?’

      ‘Sadly, no,’ said Solveig with a little quiver in her voice. ‘It is rather the opposite. Vera might have to stop coming to work here.’ The old woman followed Vera into the hall in her wheelchair.

      ‘Why is that?’ She’s thinking about quitting the project and quitting here too? What is she planning on doing?

      ‘My body just aches so much.’ Vera took her jacket off the hanger and sighed. ‘I probably have to take sick leave because of the pain in my lower back.’

      ‘Well, I can understand if you are in pain.’ Peter squatted gracefully and tied his shoes.

      Vera and Solveig looked at him. He stood up and rolled down his shirtsleeves. ‘You’ve been limping for – how long now? Six months?’

      Vera nodded. Peter put his hand on his hip: ‘I think you have knots in your… gluteal muscles from walking crooked. That makes your back ache. I have a friend who hurt his foot in a bad kick when he and another guy were practicing jujutsu. Before he was operated on, he got a bunch of problems in other parts of his body, and that was after only a few weeks. Because, you know, he walked crookedly and his whole body was tense.’

      Peter reached for his black coat and felt pleased – maybe everything could be put right? – and when he heard Solveig suggest that Vera get a massage, he didn’t stop to think. ‘Yes, massage is a good way to get rid of knots in your muscles, to get the circulation going again. I’ve been training jujutsu a while, so I know a little bit. I can massage you if you want.’