On the Goose. Josie Penny

to bang a few more nails into the house. In the meantime we got a dog. Every new family has to have a dog. It was the cutest Labrador retriever, with a shiny, jet black coat. We named her Tammy. She was a wonderful asset to our family and the children adored her. She was very gentle with the babies, and smart as well. It wasn’t long before I had her trained to fetch, roll over, and so on.

      Tammy grew fast and started having puppies, which added another burden to my life. Even though we enjoyed the experience of new puppies, I was the one stuck with all of the responsibilities of caring for them, such as cleaning up the messes and finding new homes for them.

      My husband made a decision, somewhere along the way, that he didn’t want the responsibilities of a family, and started not coming home after work. I was confused, because he’d been very supportive during my pregnancies up to this point.

      “Where was ya?” I asked as he stumbled in the door.

      “Just dropped in to have a few beers wit de boys after work,” he slurred.

      “Why?”

      “Cause I wanted to.”

      “Well what about yer family?” I screamed.

      And the fight was on. I was shocked and bewildered. I’d never seen him drunk before. He seemed to be angry about everything he’d ever done. But I didn’t know what to do about it. What had I done to make him so angry?

      Keith and I were trying desperately to earn a living, but we seemed to be going backwards. Would I be better off staying at home? Working five days a week required a nanny to care for the babies. We sat down one day to try and figure things out. We discovered that with the cost of two babies, new construction costs, heating and electricity costs, phone bills, grocery bills, and a nanny for the children, we were barely making ends meet. The problem was we didn’t have a solution. I didn’t have a clue how to manage money and I didn’t know how to stand up for myself. All I could do was try.

      “If only you’d come home after work instead of goin’ to have a few beers wit de boys.” I yelled. He didn’t let me continue.

      “Now wait a minute,” he screamed, so loud it startled me. “I work hard every day on the job, and then I come home and work on the house.”

      I didn’t hear anything else. I shut down. What was wrong with me? Why could I never win an argument? Why for once couldn’t I be right? Why did I feel so rejected, dejected, and inferior to him? I didn’t have the answerers and just gave up.

      As the time passed Keith continued to stay out with the boys. I soon realized I would have to take charge of this household and focus on what I needed to do to care for our family. To feed and clothe my children, to make sure we paid the heating bills, so we wouldn’t freeze to death in dead of winter, as the construction on the house remained unfinished.

      Household Finance came to Goose Bay and opened up a branch just down the street from where we lived. We started hearing how easy it was to get money.

      “What do you think? Should we go?” Keith asked as he returned home after work one day.

      “I heard a lot of people get into trouble with those finance companies,” I said, trying to sound educated.

      “Well, maybe we can get a furnace for the house.”