Asking: What's going on inside of me?
“No matter where you are on your journey, that’s exactly where you need to be. The next road is always ahead.”
Oprah Winfrey
Chapter 1: Recognizing when getting unstuck goes beyond affirmations and mantras
When the old bag of tricks stop working
Many of us love our daily affirmation texts and self-help Instagram accounts, but let’s be real, they do not always give us the swift kick in the butt that we need to get going. Do not let guilt or shame overwhelm you if you read your religious scripture or affirmations, but do not feel moved to change. When that happens, I’m challenging you to honor yourself in that moment and get curious about the real reason why you’re not moved by the message. Your immobility is a sign that you need to pause and go within. It is a sign that your spirit (aka the divinity within you) is blocked. When your spirit is ignored and needs to get your attention it issues a “stuck order.” A “stuck order” calls out the internal struggle that occurs when you are not paying attention to your inner voice; it is the cry of your spirit to shake you out of stagnation and the cycle of poor, un-affirming choices. Before starting the excavation process to figure out what is going on within, you first need to acknowledge your spirit’s “stuck order.” Don’t panic. You are right where you’re supposed to be for this part of your life’s journey. Together, we will get you unstuck. But first, let’s look at how Amina tried to address the same issue.
Amina's road led to a dead-end
Amina is the motivation queen. From the inspirational messages hanging throughout her home, to the affirmation texts, daily quotes, and self-help Instagram memes popping up in her notifications, she lives in mantra overflow. She hoped the diversity of daily reminders would keep her spirit centered and uplifted to live as the highest version of herself. Well, that didn’t actually come to fruition. I wish I could tell you that everytime Amina walks through her house or scrolls on her phone that she swells up with a burst of inspiration. The honest answer is, she barely looks at them for self-motivation, but she readily uses the messages to motivate others. Amina’s perpetual doubt in her ability to overcome her weight challenges created a mental block that prevented her from internalizing the multiple sources of motivation. Her attempts to override her mental block failed to work because her internal validation bank account, her ability to believe that she is enough and capable, was already too low. Years of fear and doubt had chipped away at her confidence and eroded her ability to believe she could conquer her goals. She looks at her “Believe in your Dreams” iPhone wallpaper over 30 times a day yet stops short of taking action to bring that message to life. Why can't she take the full leap? What’s blocking the mantra overflow from working? What specifically is preventing her from taking action when she reads the memes from her favorite Instagram self-help guru? Amina is growing tired. Her bag of tricks no longer works. She is ready to dig deeper to find out why she is stuck.
Instead of feeling encouraged to bring the affirmations she read to life, Amina’s “stuck order” from her doubtful mindset caused her to scroll past them or share the message with others instead of use them for their intended purpose, to spur her into action. Rather than be present and look at her “Pray More & Worry Less” sign while using the bathroom, Amina scrolled on her iPhone to see the number of views on her latest Facebook stories. The strength of her fear-based mindset prevented her from shining her light on herself. Now that we’ve learned more about Amina’s story, let’s use the 4-step consciousness-raising technique to understand how a “stuck order” may have led your own inspirational plan to a dead-end.
Now, it’s your turn
You have to choose to use your power
You have power and choice in every situation. It’s up to you to decide if you want to use them. Power comes from within and waits on us to unleash it. We unleash it in two ways, internally and externally. Unleashing internal power is the process of raising your consciousness to purposefully choose mindsets, behaviors, and emotions that lead to the highest version of yourself. It empowers love and trust. Externally we can give our power to others in two ways. The first way is by granting someone formal authority to act on our behalf (for example, the power we give to elected officials). The second and more detrimental way is by handing our power over for external validation, so that we can only feel powerful when an external source affirms us. This is an ineffective use of power. The key to releasing the power within is to know that you are enough without the need for anything outside of you to affirm that truth. The way you make internal meaning of your emotions, mindsets, and behaviors shapes how you see the external world. How you respond to those interpretations determines whether you act from your internal power or give it away to external validation. I’ll say it again, you always have power and you always have choice. The first step is to realize that you have the power within. Choosing to use it brings you further into consciousness.
You have to honor the present moment
The next step requires “presence," a “being in the moment,” that allows you to honor that this is exactly where you are supposed to be. The whispers of your inner voice act as signals from the divinity within you trying to get your attention. It’s saying, “hey Sis, it’s time for us to have a talk.” Many block out the signals by, self-medicating the uneasiness away with alcohol, food, drugs, relationships and other avoidance techniques. Choose to investigate the signals. Once you make that choice, don't feel bad about the disconnect between what an affirmation calls for and your lack of movement, it happens to many, including Amina, you, and me. This presence of mind generates honesty within yourself that allows you to get to the heart of the matter.
You have to increase your self-awareness
We are all wired both similarly and differently. There are a variety of reasons that contribute to what happens when you read a religious text or affirmation and do not feel moved to act on the message. Self-awareness helps us to understand our reactions. One of the main causes of inaction is that your mind doubts what you see. The moment your eyes register a motivational message, you say “I don’t believe that can happen for me.” One layer deeper your subconscious mind is saying, “I don’t have the power to make that happen for me.” We use affirmations, religious texts and mantras to motivate us to act. No one intends to look at them and not feel motivated to do something different. Anytime you don’t take that action, it is a sign that something is going on in your internal validation system. This system is where you draw on your internal sources of power, value, and worth. What enables you to act on a scripture, daily quote, or affirmation is a mindset that believes you can bring that statement to life, something inside that says “I got the goods (internal validation) to make this happen.” Thus, when a doubtful mindset meets an affirmation, daily quote or mantra, mental blocks become apparent and inaction can result. Self-awareness enables you