Step into Your Moxie. Alexia Vernon

      When I started seeing all those bunnies as I agonized over what, if anything, to do with the proposal for this book, my inner Coach (almost on autopilot after close to a decade of hanging out with her) asked, Lex, how are these bunnies a mirror for something going on in your life right now? With a bit of embarrassment, I realized I was setting out to write a book about stepping into one’s moxie and yet, in my own self-talk, I’d completed stepped out of mine.

      Harness Your Cheetah

      When I was eight years old my parents divorced, and my mom remarried. My stepdad raised me as if I were his own kiddo. And even though he did some strange things that drove both my mom and me bonkers — like arguing that the Holy Spirit was a real person and asking friends and family to punch him in the stomach so they could experience the magic of his rock-solid forty-year-old abs — he also had a beautiful obsession with animals. He daily broke out into Louis Prima’s “I Wanna Be Like You” from The Jungle Book, and he watched boatloads of Animal Planet shows. I’ve always been drawn to cats, and through my stepdad, my love of cats extended to other less domesticated felines. I enjoyed leopards, a lot — so much, in fact, that I dressed in a leopard-print dress (and safari hat) for my “personality” speech during the Miss Junior America Pageant. “When you look into the eyes of a leopard, it’s like you can see into her soul. So I like to wear leopard print so people can see mine.” Yawn. Eye roll.

      I also really enjoyed watching cheetahs — on television. Cheetahs and I have yet to meet without a screen between us. Nonetheless, I know cheetahs are pretty badass. They can accelerate faster than any other land animal — up to sixty-five miles per hour in a few seconds. They have flexible spines, which allow them to take big strides when desired. They like to hang out in a place where they have a clear view of their surroundings. And they also rest a lot. Plus, they’ve got those big, arresting, present eyes (and tear marks) — that run from the inner corners of their eyes down to the outside edges of their mouths.

      Unlike the bunny, who demurs, and the dragon, who spews fire, the cheetah has got it going on. To recap, she is fast, flexible, and present; she rests as needed and has tear marks permanently imprinted on her face. From a communication standpoint, when she presents her ideas, a woman who embraces the essence of the cheetah will:

      • Ask for what she wants (and deserves).

      • Speak with (versus at) her audience.

      • Focus on audience connection (eye contact, humor, and storytelling, as appropriate).

      • Be flexible en route to getting what she wants.

      • Be present with her emotions — and use them to enhance her persuasiveness.

      When she speaks, a cheetah has tremendous presence. However, this presence feels born out of worthiness, not performance. When she stands to speak, her:

      • Weight is balanced between both feet, hip-width apart.

      • Shoulders are pulled back, and her chest is open.

      • Eye contact is real — soft, and also absolute.

      • Face is neutral and inviting. (She doesn’t worry about smiling because when she is in her moxie, her eyes and mouth naturally do it for her.)

      • Hands connect from her heart to the heart(s) of her audience. (She makes gestures with her hands that move her message from her body to those who are listening to her. Whether she is using one hand or both, these gestures work together with her words to move people to take action.)

      • Movement is used to convey a change of thought or draw attention to important ideas. (She walks, and gracefully takes up space, to share her ideas. When she is in the middle of an idea, she is so rock-solid in what she has to say that her feet are rooted in the earth, and she doesn’t pace or bounce from one foot to the other.)

      When a woman shifts from communicating from bunny or dragon energy into cheetah energy, awesome things unfold — for her, and for the people she is seeking to move through her communication. For a number of years, I ran a nine-month, face-to-face women’s leadership program in Las Vegas, where I live. And while the cohorts of women who participated mostly entered the program more as bunnies than dragons, most years at least a couple of women showed up on day one in full-on dragon mode.