When Food Is Comfort. Julie M. Simon

I’ll grab them without thinking. But the most challenging times are when I’m out with clients for lunch or dinner, or when I get home after work and I’m all alone. It’s almost like there are two versions of me. One is paying attention and is excited about all the healthy habits I’m practicing and the prospect of losing more weight. The other doesn’t seem to care. That part of me rebels and uses food either for pleasure or to numb out. Or even to punish myself. I told you, I think there is this lazy part of me that sabotages my progress. [He looks somewhat dejected, as his shoulders drop and his body sinks into the chair.]

       JULIE: I don’t think it’s about laziness, Lenny — you’re very motivated, driven, and disciplined in many areas of your life. You have quite a few internal resources that you are able to access and rely on: you’re hardworking, dedicated, determined, and ambitious. You’re very friendly and personable. You’re excited about learning and growing, and when you set your mind to something, nothing stops you. I’m wondering if there might be a very young part of you that feels invisible and is clamoring for attention and acting out with food.

       LENNY: Somehow, that feels right on, but I don’t really know what that’s all about. [He sits up with his eyes wide open.]

      Unintentional Neglect and Self-Abandonment

      Lenny grew up in a small, idyllic New England town, the son of a successful orthopedic surgeon and a stay-at-home mom he described as “sweet, loving, artistic, and creative.” He couldn’t remember any problematic experiences in his early years: no one had abused him or his siblings, and there was no violence in the family. His parents weren’t alcoholics; no one raged or even raised their voice in his house. His parents were always engaged and involved in their children’s lives. I explained to Lenny that emotional imbalances are not always the result of something horrific or terrible happening in the past, but rather, in the words of the British psychoanalyst D. W. Winnicott, they may be caused by “nothing happening when something might profitably have happened.”