Advance Praise
“Filled with sweet suspense and bitter problems, my dad’s book is about his cultural hesitation and how he got over that hesitation. This is a memoir that will be loved for ages and ages.”
—Kristie Wong, nature expert and ten-year-old daughter of Ray Wong
“Seldom have the terms ‘self-effacing’ and ‘memoir’ been more faithfully or sweetly conjoined. With his beguilingly humble voice Raymond Wong has shaped a moving, memorable book.”
—Peter Selgin, author of Confessions of a Left-Handed Man and Drowning Lessons
“Ray Wong’s I’m Not Chinese is a journey both physical and figurative, a journey from refusal to understanding that sets his feet firmly in two worlds, American and Chinese.”
—Adrian R. Magnuson, author of Taking Flight
“Ray Wong’s memoir is written with vivid descriptions of place and deep insight into the hearts and minds of the people he meets. You’ll visit a cemetery where ancient folklore lives among the graves. You’ll taste food and drink described in such detail you’ll want to order more of what he likes and spit out what he finds distasteful. For readers who have never been to China, Ray Wong’s book will give reason for making the journey.”
—Barbara McMikle, author of The Secret of the Weeping Monk
“Raymond Wong’s memoir gives readers an insight into the life of a Chinese American who has disowned his Chinese roots. With an honest and open voice, Wong invites readers on his trip to China with his mother, where he learns as much about himself as he does about his mother and her family. It’s a touching story not often told and one that readers will find both engaging and thought-provoking. This book made me assess my own relationship with my parents, wondering what important history I have missed because of my own closed eyes.”
—Katherine Pickett, owner of POP Editorial Services and author of Perfect Bound: How to Navigate the Book Publishing Process Like a Pro
“Raymond Wong’s spare, direct style gets right to the heart of what it means to straddle two cultures. I hope that I’m Not Chinese marks the debut of a writer with many more stories to tell.”
—Christine Buckley, Paris-based writer, editor and translator
“In this finely detailed memoir, Raymond Wong takes us on a journey to truths of the heart. Wong travels to China, the country he left as a child. He meets relatives he has never known. At first he holds back. Then slowly his heart opens as his father, aunts, uncles and young cousins embrace him as their own.”
—Glenda Richter, author of The Stories of Juana Briones: Alta California Pioneer
“I’m Not Chinese is the story of a man who sets out on an international journey to meet the father he never knew, only to find the mother he never quite understood. In a mix of memories and new experiences rendered beautifully to the page, Raymond Wong shows us just what it means to be a family. And in his extended family, we find our own; we see their flaws, discover their fortitude, and reach toward forgiveness. Stunning and resonant, Wong’s story is one of acceptance, tenderness, courage, and most of all, unconditional love.”
—Wendy Fontaine
“Raymond Wong’s debut memoir I’m Not Chinese presents a deeply moving portrayal of the journeys—inner and outer—by which a young man alienated from his family, his ethnicity, and his own feelings discovers a father, reclaims his kin, forgives his mother, and opens his heart to the woman he will marry. With fearless honesty and unusually acute storytelling skills, Wong takes us with him on his eye-opening first encounters with the lives of his Chinese relatives, in opulent restaurants and over-crowded flats in Hong Kong, and in squalid tenements, remote villages, and muddy graveyards in mainland China. Wong not only tells a fast-paced, heartrending story, he offers American readers an arresting glimpse into the realities of contemporary Chinese culture, and the identity dilemmas of thoroughly Americanized children of Asian immigrants.”
—Christine Hale, author of Basil’s Dream, A Novel
“Raymond Wong’s journey escorting his mother on a trip back to Hong Kong is one of discovery of much more than family and culture. I’m Not Chinese is a deeply personal portrait full of heart, humor, and compassion.”
—Steve Brannon, Editor, Small Print Magazine
“Ray Wong has written a poignant memoir of self-discovery when he accompanies his mother on a trip to China. This episode in his life creates a rare opportunity to find himself on so many different levels: as a son who finally understands his mother’s sacrifice and love; as an immigrant to the United States filled with misgivings of his ethnic identity; as a child of a blended family who never found a place to belong; and, as a son who never knew his father. Through interactions with his mother, Wong highlights the difficult choices and perseverance of immigrant mothers. With wry humor and childhood flashbacks, he captures many universal experiences, yet his observations and familial interactions open up a window to the modern Chinese American experience.”
--Susan Hasegawa, Professor of History at San Diego City College
“This is an intimate memoir of Mr. Wong’s two journeys: one a physical trip to a fearsome and unknown country and the other an emotional voyage into much darker and more frightening places than mainland China will ever be. The theme of family relationships burns through every page. Old wounds surface; new understanding is reached; and the healing love of re-connections transcends the widest ocean in the world.”
--Elisabeth Newbold, Librarian at the San Diego County Library, Alpine branch
“Raymond Wong’s book has defined the aspects of his predicament of shunning his family, ethnicity, and country while taking us on a heart-warming journey from bitterness to clemency, clarity, and respect. It reminds us of all we have in life and to respect and appreciate it with all our heart and soul.”
—Kevin Wong, thirteen-year-old son of Raymond Wong
I’m Not Chinese
The Journey from Resentment to Reverence
Raymond M. Wong
I’m Not Chinese
The Journey from Resentment to Reverence
Raymond M. Wong
Apprentice House
Baltimore, Maryland
Copyright © 2014 by Raymond M. Wong
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission from the publisher (except by reviewers who may quote brief passages).
First Edition
Printed in the United States of America
Paperback ISBN: 978-1-62720-026-4
Ebook ISBN: 978-1-62720-027-1
Design by Charles Cuthrell
Cover photo by Vina Rathakoune
Edited by Katherine Pickett
Published by Apprentice House
Apprentice House
Loyola University Maryland
4501 N. Charles Street
Baltimore, MD 21210
410.617.5265 • 410.617.2198 (fax)
www.ApprenticeHouse.com [email protected]
For my mother, Kuk Ying Uhlenkamp
Prologue