Ghost Armies. Andrew Sneddon. Читать онлайн. Newlib. NEWLIB.NET

Автор: Andrew Sneddon
Издательство: Ingram
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Жанр произведения: Языкознание
Год издания: 0
isbn: 9781922198013
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      Dying is so easy.

      They bullied us into the hold

      And screwed the hatch closed

      On their shouts and chatter topside.

      We panted in the foul air

      Dreading an American torpedo.

      There was no light for days.

      My brother sitting by my side

      Was a tense, humid presence

      Slippery with perspiration.

      There were sobs from in the dark.

      From time to time

      A man ten feet from me

      Would strike a match

      And check his watch.

      Fifty desperate pairs of eyes

      Would turn and stare.

      In the smothering darkness

      The point of flame

      Was like a nail in a wall

      That an unhinged man

      Could hang a picture on.

      Worse by far

      Than hot and hungry

      Is cold and hungry.

      Even the gentler guards were kicking us

      And shrieking like maniacs.

      The locals turned out for the show,

      Lining the platform

      And then the streets

      To hiss and spit

      As we hobbled past.

      I was in a dirty shirt

      And tattered Changi loincloth.

      There were dreadful beatings.

      The women sneered at us.

      The children gathered stones

      From the roadside

      And hurled them at our bony arses.

      Ah, the conquering heroes.

      And what right of reply?

      I kept my head down.

      With my frightened dick

      Cringing tiny beneath my lap-lap

      Even an angry sideways glance

      Would have seemed, to all of us,

      More than a little absurd.

      It was different then.

      There was no Hiroshima.

      No 1945.

      It was just the beginning of something horrible

      That could go on forever.

      Mostly fetid stillness

      And an occasional slick spasm of resentment

      Like slimy carp in a diminishing pond-pool

      Writhing against a weir.

      When my father got it in the neck in 1917

      Crockery rattled in the kitchen

      Of a tiny terrace house in Redfern.

      Black lace doily’d a bewildered widow.

      The evening that the news came through

      Saw us three small children

      Asking for dinner at tea-time

      Like it was any other day.

      My mother wailed.

      Not quite comprehending

      We cried ourselves to sleep that night

      Sensing, correctly, a colossal shift.

      Wally and I joined up together in ’40 –

      Two brothers.

      It was the done thing.

      My mother paled when we sauntered into the kitchen –

      Our uniforms and slouch hats,

      And our rude boots

      Scuffing black into her nice clean linoleum.

      We signed up to fight the Germans

      Like our parents had.

      We hadn’t even thought about the Japs

      Who at the time

      Might have seemed to us

      Somewhat beneath our dignity.

      I recall reeling hard against

      A snag beneath the surface,

      Bending the rod with

      A child’s thin-lipped determination.

      When the line snapped

      Sending a whisper of thread

      Curling like a burnt hair

      Over the river

      Dad stepped up to me

      And took the rod from my hands.

      He slipped the handline

      Into my palm.

      The one for women and tiddlers.

      On the day we shipped out

      She took me aside

      When my brother wasn’t looking.

      She said:

      Look after Wally will you?

      I have noticed that the infant’s soft hand,

      By some primordial reflex,

      Will close involuntarily around a finger

      Or lock of hair.

      Snatching and the clenched fist

      Are ours by instinct.

      Opening the palm is a learned gesture.

      Invasion is a narrowed man

      Half rubbed out.

      A face smeared sideways.

      A distillate reeking of ditch water.

      It