“You’re finally here. It’s about to start,” whispered Tony. As the seminar began, a feeling of despair came over me. I did not want to do the seminar. I was wasting my time and money in a seminar while San Francisco was calling me.
It was late in the evening when Michael picked me up and we returned to our motel. I was exhausted from the seminar and discouraged in many ways. “So how was your day?” asked Michael inquisitively.
“I’m not very happy about this. Two seminars in the same week are too much!” I had agreed to take the seminar because Tony had persuaded me to do it. I was angry with myself for not expressing my true feelings.
“At least you’ve learned something,” said Michael.
My heart was pounding in my ears when I took my blood pressure before retiring for the night. “Michael, my body is doing it again. I can’t take this anymore!” Blood pressure medications also made me feel ill.
“It’s really just a state of mind,” said Michael. “I’ll show you this if you’ll take my blood pressure.” I put the band around Michael’s arm and the gauge showed a normal reading. “Now let me have one of those pills.”
“Are you crazy? They’ll make your blood pressure too low. I don’t want you to pass out on me.”
“Trust me,” said Michael. He held the round white pill to his forehead and closed his eyes. A look of deep concentration came over his face, and then he popped the pill into his mouth and swallowed it. “How long does it take for it to work?”
“It will be fully effective in about an hour.”
“Let’s watch some TV and we’ll take my blood pressure later,” said Michael. We sat on the bed and watched music videos. I wondered if Michael could handle the pill he had taken.
“It’s time, Michael,” I said while looking at my watch. I took his blood pressure and I could not believe what I saw. It was high, not just slightly high, but ridiculously high. “How did you do that?”
“Like I said, it’s just in your mind.”
“That sounds so simple, but I don’t understand how to do it.”
“All the answers are inside you, Wendy. You’ll find them.”
Michael went into the bathroom and came out wearing what looked like a shawl wrapped around his waist. “You’re wearing a skirt to bed?” I teased.
“No. It’s what the men wear in India. I bought it there during my travels.” I wondered what it would be like to travel through India. These thoughts filled my mind as I lay my head on the pillow and fell asleep.
The next morning the seminar room was filled with people who eagerly waited for the day to begin. Dan Millman would also be speaking. It was the only reason that I had returned for a second day.
I had talked with Dan Millman on the phone during the summer. By using his intuitive abilities, he had helped me to see myself more clearly. He had reminded me that I sought perfection to a degree that I missed the beauty of what was happening in the present moment. I had high ideals that made me view things as perfect or flawed, especially when my ideals were not reached. Dan had said that I felt unworthy and it was time to start appreciating myself. Everything he had mentioned about my personality was true; even the fact that I was a “late bloomer.”
Dan had said that my health problems were related to judgement of other people. I had been a judge in a past life, which had created pain for many people. He had brought humor to this information by telling me that we have all had past lives that we would not want to take home to Mom. The judgement pattern could be seen in my family in this lifetime. There was a critical side that had brought me much distress.
The information that I could be successful at any field I choose to work in had been encouraging. Dan had said this was something he did not tell very many people. I had always felt there were no limitations to what I could do. Determination and stubbornness are a part of my personality.
The story about the athlete had also impacted me. A young girl had become anorexic and in hospital close to death. Dan’s clairvoyant friend had concentrated on loving and caring for her. She gradually drank liquids and then ate solids. After her recovery, she had a dinner party where much time was spent preparing to make it special. Even the radishes were cut like roses. At dinner, her mom had not noticed the special effort her daughter had undertaken. Her mom’s concern was that her daughter had not warmed the plates. This story was an example of missing the beauty of the moment by focusing on what seems to be wrong.
The conversation I had with Dan on the phone, changed my life. He was a wise man who had a sincere desire to help humankind. This was also evident with the seminar. I enjoyed hearing Dan speak, but I was restless.
With the completion of the seminar, Michael and I returned to Santa Barbara late that evening. “Are you alright?” asked Michael as we curled up together by the fireplace. It had been a long day in the seminar, and I was not feeling well.
“I’ve learned two important things. I need to express my emotions as situations arise, and do what feels right for me, not what other people think I should do. I shouldn’t have done another seminar so soon after Sage.”
Michael reached over and put his hand on my shoulder. “It’s good that you see these things now. The key is to remember them in the future. Many lessons get repeated until we not only know them, but live them too.” The truth of this statement would echo throughout my life.
In the morning, I packed my bags and put them into the van. My body was shaking and I felt sick. Sadness filled me as my time with Michael drew to a close. The love I felt for him was beyond words. “Would you like to walk down to the beach?” asked Michael.
“Sure,” I said trying to hide my sadness. We walked through the backyard and Michael stopped to pick me a beautiful red rose. I held it to my nose and breathed in its fragrance.
“The roses in this garden smell so good,” said Michael.
“Yes, they are wonderful. Thank you,” I said as I buried my nose in the petals. We walked along the railway tracks, trying to balance on the rails. I tried to hide my tears as we reached the beach.
“It looks like the tide is too high for walking, but it’s a good day for the surfers,” said Michael. The waves were larger than I had seen them all week. Michael and I sat on the steps and watched the talented surfers as they moved across the rough water. The sky was blue and the sun shone brightly creating reflections on the water.
“It’s so beautiful here. I don’t want to go home.”
“Could you stay longer?”
“I have to teach at the College this week.”
“I’ll be moving out of the house in a few days anyway,” said Michael. It was too complicated for me to stay longer.
We arrived at the airport and Michael followed me through security. We sat in the waiting area and Michael held my hand. “Do you plan on visiting Calgary again sometime in the near future?” I asked.
“Possibly, I’m heading back to Victoria soon,” said Michael. “I want to continue working with people who are interested in healing.”
My flight was called and I sadly looked into Michael’s eyes. “I guess it’s time for me to go.”
Michael continued to hold my hand as we walked down the ramp. “It’s been great, Wendy. It is nice to see how our friendship has grown.” Michael hugged me and gave me a gentle kiss upon the lips. As he walked away, he turned several times to look at me. I prayed that time would soon bring us together once again.
Chapter 6
Healing