“Foma, Foma,” cried my uncle, “do not crush me with these recollections. I have told you already that all my blood is not enough to wash out the insults. Be magnanimous! Forgive, forget, and remain to contemplate our happiness I Your work, Foma …”
“I want to love my fellow-man, to love him,” cried Foma, “and they won’t give me him, they forbid me to love him, they take him from me. Give me, give me my fellow-man that I may love him! Where is that fellow-man? Where is he hidden? Like Diogenes with his candle, I have been looking for him all my life and cannot find him; and I can love no one, to this day I cannot find the man. Woe to him who has made me a hater of mankind! I cry: give me my fellow-man that I may love him, and they thrust Falaley upon me! Am I to love Falaley? Do I want to love Falaley? Could I love Falaley, even if I wanted to? No. Why not? Because he is Falaley. Why do I not love humanity? Because all on earth are Falaleys or like Falaley. I don’t want Falaley, I hate Falaley, I spit on Falaley, I trample Falaley under my feet. And if I had to choose I would rather love Asmodeus than Falaley. Come here, come here, my everlasting torment, come here,” he cried, suddenly addressing Falaley, who was in the most innocent way standing on tiptoe, looking over the crowd that was surrounding Foma Fomitch. “Come here. I will show you, Colonel,” cried Foma, drawing towards him Falaley, who was almost unconscious with terror, “I will show you the truth of my words about the everlasting long nose and finger of scorn! Tell me, Falaley, and tell the truth: what did you dream about last night? Come, Colonel, you will see your handiwork! Come, Falaley, tell us!”
The poor boy, shaking with terror,, turned despairing eyes about him, looking for someone to rescue him; but everyone was in a tremor waiting for his answer.
“Come, Falaley, I am waiting.”
Instead of answering, Falaley screwed up his face, opened his mouth wide, and began bellowing like a calf.
“Colonel! Do you see this stubbornness? Do you mean to tell me it’s natural? For the last time I ask you, Falaley, tell me: what did you dream of last night?”
“O-of …”
“Say you dreamed of me,” said Bahtcheyev.
“Of your virtue, sir,” Yezhevikin prompted in his other ear.
Falaley merely looked about him.
“O-of … of your vir … of a white bu-ull,” he roared at last, and burst into scalding tears.
Everyone groaned. But Foma Fomitch was in a paroxysm of extraordinary magnanimity.
“Anyway, I see your sincerity, Falaley/’ he said. “A sincerity I do not observe in others. God bless you! If you are purposely mocking at me with that dream at the instigation of others, God will repay you and those others. If not, I respect your truthfulness; for even in the lowest of creatures like you it is my habit to discern the image and semblance of God… . I forgive you, Falaley. Embrace me, my children. I will remain with you.”
“He will remain!” they all cried in delight.
“I will remain and I will forgive. Colonel, reward Falaley with some sugar, do not let him cry on such a day of happiness for all.”
I need hardly say that such magnanimity was thought astounding. To take so much thought at such a moment, and for whom? For Falaley. My uncle flew to carry out his instruction in regard to the sugar. Immediately a silver sugar-basin — I don’t know where it came from — appeared in the hands of Praskovya Ilyinitchna. My uncle was about to take out two pieces with a trembling hand, then three, then he dropped them, at last, seeing he was incapable of doing anything from excitement.
“Ah!” he cried, “for a day like this! Hold out your coat, Falaley,” and he poured into his coat all the contents of the sugar-basin. “That’s for your truthfulness,” he said, by way of edification.
“Mr. Korovkin!” Vidoplyasov announced, suddenly appearing in the doorway.
A slight flutter of consternation followed — Korovkin’s visit was obviously ill-timed. They all looked inquiringly at my uncle.
“Korovkin!” cried my uncle, in some embarrassment. “Of course I am delighted . . ,” he added, glancing timidly towards Foma; “but really I don’t know whether to ask him in at such a moment. What do you think, Foma?”
“Oh, yes, why not,” said Foma amicably. “Invite Korovkin too; let him, too, share in the general rejoicing.”
In short, Foma Fomitch was in an angelic frame of mind.
“I most respectfully make bold to inform you,” observed Vidoplyasov, “that the gentleman is not quite himself.”
“Not quite himself? How? What nonsense are you talking?” cried my uncle.
“It is so, indeed; he is not quite in a sober condition.”
But before my uncle had time to open his mouth, flush red, and show his alarm and extreme embarrassment, the mystery was explained. Korovkin appeared in the doorway, pushed Vidoplyasov aside and confronted the astonished company. He was a short, thickset gentleman of forty, with dark hair touched with grey and closely cropped, with a round purple face and little bloodshot eyes, wearing a high horsehair cravat, fastened at the back with a buckle, an extraordinarily threadbare swallow-tail coat covered with fluff and hay and disclosing a bad rent under the arm, and unspeakable trousers, and carrying an incredibly greasy cap which he was holding out at arm’s length. This gentleman was completely drunk. Advancing into the middle of the room, he stood still, staggering, nodding his head as though he were pecking at something with his nose in drunken hesitation; then he slowly grinned from ear to ear.
“Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen,” he began, “I … er …” (here he gave a tug at his collar) “got ‘em!”
Madame la Générale immediately assumed an air of offended dignity. Foma, sitting in his easy-chair, ironically looked the eccentric visitor up and down. Bahtcheyev stared at him in perplexity, through which some sympathy was, however, apparent. My uncle’s embarrassment was incredible; he was deeply distressed on Korovkin’s account.
“Korovkin,” he began. “Listen.”
“Attendcz!” Korovkin interrupted him. “Let me introduce myself: a child of nature… . But what do I see? There are ladies here… . Why didn’t you tell me, you rascal, that you had ladies here?” he added with a roguish smile. “Never mind! Don’t be shy. Let us be presented to the fair sex. Charming ladies,” he began, articulating with difficulty and stumbling over every word, “you see a luckless mortal … who … and so on… . The rest must remain unsaid… . Musicians! A polka!”
“Wouldn’t you like a nap?” asked Mizintchikov, quietly going up to Korovkin.
“A nap? You say that to insult me?”
“Not at all. You know a little sleep is a good thing after a journey …”
“Never!” Korovkin answered with indignation. “Do you think I am drunk? — not a bit. But where do they sleep here?”
“Come along, I’ll take you at once.”
“Where? In the coach-house? No, my lad, you won’t take me in I I have spent a night there already… . Lead the way, though. Why not go along with a good fellow. … I don’t want a pillow. A military man does not want a pillow… . But you produce a sofa for me, old man … a sofa. And, I say,” he added, stopping, “I see you are a jolly fellow; produce something else for me … you know? A bit of the rummy, enough to drown a lly in, only enough for that, only one little glass, I mean.”
“Very well, very well!” answered Mizintchikov.
“Very well. But you wait a bit, I must say goodbye. Adieu, mcsdames and mcsdemoiselles. You have, so to speak, smitten… . But there, never mind! We will talk about that