“Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; Teach that person to use the internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.”
–Author unknown
Chapter 2
DECIDING TO
EMBRACE
NETWORKING
Mostly due to limited time and the pervasive popularity of the internet as a communications medium, people often discount the value of personal contact. Many believe that they simply don’t have the time, and in some cases people don’t want to expose themselves to scrutiny of others; they feel more comfortable pursuing arms-length relationships than face-to-face contact. The simple truth is that there is no substitute for face-to-face contact in networking. If you have avoided face-to-face networking, you need to examine your reasons. Perhaps you have an image of networking as pushy and manipulative: “too complicated,” “too much of a hard-core relentless pursuit.”
Perhaps one of the best ways to embrace face-face networking is to first understand what it is not. Think of someone you know who is considered a good networker, and make a mental note of what characteristics of that person’s style you would have trouble mimicking if you wanted to network like he does. My guess would be the attitudes and behaviors that might turn you off to networking would be misconceptions like these:
Some Misconceptions About Networking
I’m not going to pretend that people don’t exist who exhibit some or all of the above characteristics. Some do. And perhaps your friend or acquaintance is one of them. However, I can relate to you most assuredly that highly aggressive users’ networking activities are usually restricted to a specific group of contacts who exhibit similar “user” characteristics. The code among this group is: “I’ll use you, then you use me. I’m keeping score so make sure you don’t ask, if you haven’t given back.” This intense approach works among this group of individuals because the rules, as you can see, are rigidly observed and enforced. However, they could never sustain this networking style in a broader, business-savvy community—where the give and take of interpersonal relationships is much less intense and more oriented to a relaxed collegiality, mutual caring and sincere interest in one another.
However, just like the intense form of give-and-take networking described above, there are simple rules that make networking between individuals and small groups of people sustainable and effective. The rules are:
Some Rules for Networking
Now that’s not so hard, is it? Let’s explore them, one by one.
Be Prepared
There’s a simple reason for being prepared. How would you feel if you met someone for lunch (supposedly to network together) and the other person asked for your help, but had no idea what he wanted to accomplish, what kind of a person should be contacted on his behalf, what he could do with that person if they were to meet, or what would represent a successful outcome? In short, this “networking” lunch companion meets with you and expects that you will do all his thinking for him, as he hasn’t a clue where to start. In most cases, I expect this would be the last networking lunch you will have with this individual, who has exhibited a lazy behavior, disregard for your time and attention, and clearly seeks to “use” you to think for him.
Be Specific
Successful networkers do their homework before every networking encounter. They think about what they want to accomplish and get the information they need to make it a productive meeting that focuses on mutual benefit. The more you know about the interests and needs of your networking partners, the better you can determine how they can help you and what you can do for them. And making that kind of extra effort lets your partner know that you’re a thoughtful and serious networker who is worth developing a relationship with. This leads to a discussion about why and how being specific with your networking partner(s) is to your great advantage.
Which of the following statements would you be most likely to respond to? “I need some networking help, what can you do for me?” Or, “I know you are on an industry-wide task force with the public relations director at (company), and I’d like to get in touch with her about promoting her CEO as an industry spokesperson. The industry needs unified leadership and I think the CEO could provide it. Could you set up a conference call to introduce me to her so I could follow up with a get-acquainted lunch?” The value of the latter approach is this: In addition to demonstrating what you want, why it is important and how it can lead to a beneficial outcome (the CEO becoming an industry leader), you have given your networking partner a specific roadmap of how to approach the public relations director with a “plan” to make the CEO look good, make the public relations director look good, and make your networking partner look good. This approach represents a win-win for everyone. An important side benefit is that once you start meeting people in the CEO’s company, you are likely to network your way into meeting half a dozen key people who surround the CEO as part of her support staff. You also start making a reputation in the company that might well open many doors, subsequently. So being prepared pays dividends.
Now, let’s move away from this specific example, and look at the importance of following thorough, and why it is critically important to always keep working at your networking agenda.
Follow Through
In networking, following through is critical. Do what you say you’re going to do for your networking partners—and if you can’t or won’t, then don’t promise. Follow up on the leads and suggestions they give you and report back to them on your