Learn From Them.
Just because someone else does not share the same ideas or beliefs as you does not mean that you cannot learn from them. Listen to their stories, hear their opinions, and try to take in as much from them as possible. It will open your eyes to see many things, and maybe even change your own beliefs.
We all have much work to do when it comes to accepting other people, especially those closest to us. It is easy to think of ourselves as an accepting person. However, when it comes to our daily interactions with people, we have to pay attention to them and ask ourselves if we are accepting them as they are.
Now, the big questions are: Are you accepting others as they are? Are you not thinking your way of doing things is always the best way? If you discover you are not as accepting as you would like to be, think about the ideas discussed above and see whether they would not help you to be a more accepting and loving person.
Sometimes it can be challenging to look past differences and accept others as they are when you do not have some things in common. But accepting those around you will honestly make your life better.
Acceptance in Relationship
Even though a lot of us know that we cannot always expect the people in our lives to behave the way we want, a lot of us waste our energy and time trying to force them to do so. And when they do not comply, we become sad, angry or frustrated by the fact that they are not acting the way we want them to act. This struggle to make people be who we want them to be, leave us unhappy, and also causes problems in our relationship with them.
When people are controlled or manipulated into changing their behaviour or pattern of life, they will become defensive and upset, and do precisely the opposite of what you want them to do. Anytime you feel hurt by someone else's behaviour not being what you want, it is assumed that you are taking their action personally.
When you impose your ideas on others and become upset when they don't buy your opinion, ego takes over and convinces you that the others are "wrong". This will make you angry and possibly get offended by something that most likely was not intended to be a personal attack. You allow yourself to be a victim of the circumstance. Anytime you allow the actions of another person to control your emotions to the point that you are offended, you give them the power to disturb your peace.
Anytime your happiness is left in the hands of someone else, no matter how well you get along with that person, it is not always a good idea. There may be times when they will not act according to your expectations, and therefore it is almost sure that you will get upset by them at some point.
Accepting another person's behaviour is usually not easy. However, it is the only thing that will truly free you from being a prisoner of their actions. The world does not revolve around the way you expect every situation to go. You cannot always force someone to do, say or act exactly the way you want them to. You do, however, have full power and control over your actions and behaviour.
So, if you find in your relationships that a person has repeatedly made you sad or angry, you have control whether to continue to put up with their behaviour or cut off the relationship. But know that you have no control over whether or not they will ever become the person you want them to be.
By only focusing on your behaviour and your reactions, you always remain captain of your ship. You are in complete control over your own choices. You are, therefore, not a helpless puppet, waiting for their behaviour to tell you whether you can be happy or sad.
There may come a time when you decide to walk away from a relationship, and there will be times when you choose to work it out with that person. It is always YOUR choice. With some practice in the art of acceptance, you will soon realise that not blaming anyone for anything proves to be the most empowering thing you have ever done for yourself.
At this point, take full responsibility for your life and stop insisting that others change their ways to meet your "standards" of how you think things should go. Take back your happiness by not leaving it in the hands of another person.
Daylle Deanna Schwartz, the Founder of The Self-Love Movement, and the author of Nice Girls Can Finish First, in her post titled, Accepting the Reality of People, told her personal story of acceptance, which is worth learning from. Here are excerpts from her post.
"Many of us complain about people, often the same people over and over for doing the same thing over and over. I used to be the queen of complaining about the kinds of things I often hear from others.
I finally learned one of the most valuable lessons of my life. I don't have to like what people do but must accept people as they are, flaws and all, and decide whether to deal with them. To affect change, you must accept people's rights to be the way they are. I call it Reality Training. This means recognizing that if you want to be happy, you need to accept people as they are and find ways to deal with how they are or don't.
It's your choice to tolerate or walk away from bothersome behaviour. That's reality! You only have two realistic choices – either stop dealing with the person OR accept him/her as is and change your response to them. Trying to change the person won't make them change. Changing your response can!
Most people won't change because you want them to. That's reality! YOU must change your response instead of trying to change them. When I recognised this, I was dating Ben. He drove me crazy by not making plans until the last minute, and I kept my time free waiting for his call. I complained a lot about how I turned down invites from friends because I didn't know when I'd see him, but it did no good.
I finally recognised that I had to accept his ways, but I didn't have to keep my time free. So I made plans with friends. When Ben called on Thursday about seeing a movie on Friday, I nicely said I had plans. He thought I was joking, then asked if I was mad. Nope! He heard me smiling. I explained that since he did his thing, I'd do mine. Ben got defensive, saying he's not used to advance plans. I sweetly said I'm not used to turning down friends in case my guy called. I accepted his ways. He must accept mine. That levelled the playing field. Slowly Ben made plans earlier. I expressed pleasure. Accepting his right to his way helped ME change and get more of what I wanted.
Adjust your expectations. What seems wrong can be right to someone else. That's reality! If something feels unacceptable, deal with it differently. Being self-righteous over behaviour you disagree with creates unnecessary stress. Lectures about good behaviour often fall on deaf ears. Once I accepted reality, I told a friend who was always late, "Meet at my place so I can do things while I wait." She did. Another friend rarely kept plans. He got insulted when I wouldn't commit to joining him for an event. I explained I couldn't take it seriously since he usually bailed. I accepted his way, but he needed to accept that I won't keep time open since things rarely pan out. He swore he'd keep his word, and he did. All because I accepted him and changed my response! People respond better to actions than complaints."
Final Thoughts on Acceptance
As the human being ages through time, the necessity to accept others as they are is yet an issue. Despite the numerous attempts made to impose the habit of tolerance on people, they keep on developing certain invulnerability to it. However, to establish an orderly civilised society, we need to accept others as they are to live in peace.
Personality goes a long way when it comes to accepting individuals. However, a cover can often hide a person's true colours. You must learn to respect people even when you don’t like the way they carry themselves or react in a specific situation.
Little is the knowledge we possess about a person's life and background, which means we should not judge them because of their personality. On the other hand, if the person's behaviour is annoying, you may choose to stay away, especially when the person is not very important to your life, because trying to understand does not hurt anyone. If you are successful, you can proudly say you are a tolerant person.
Attitude