They were exactly even for some yards, then Clarence got ahead of Sir Philip, and he reached the elm tree first; but as he waved his hat, exclaiming, “Clarence has won the day,” Sir Philip came up with his companions, and coolly informed him that he had lost his wager —“Lost! lost! lost! Clarence — fairly lost.”
“Didn’t I reach the tree first?” said Clarence.
“Yes,” answered his companions; “but you didn’t keep the path. You turned out of the way when you met that crowd of children yonder.”
“Now I,” said Sir Philip, “dashed fairly through them — kept the path, and won my bet.”
“But,” said Hervey, “would you have had me run over that little child, who was stooping down just in my way?”
“I!’ not I,” said Sir Philip; “but I would have you go through with your civility: if a man will be polite, he must pay for his politeness sometimes. — You said you’d lay me any money I pleased, recollect — now I’m very moderate — and as you are a particular friend, Clarence, I’ll only take your ten guineas.”
A loud laugh from his companions provoked Clarence; they were glad “to have a laugh against him,” because he excited universal envy by the real superiority of his talents, and by his perpetually taking the lead in those trifles which were beneath his ambition, and exactly suited to engage the attention of his associates.
“Be it so, and welcome; I’ll pay ten guineas for having better manners than any of you,” cried Hervey, laughing; “but remember, though I’ve lost this bet, I don’t give up my pedestrian fame. — Sir Philip, there are no women to throw golden apples in my way now, and no children for me to stumble over: I dare you to another trial — double or quit.”
“I’m off, by Jove!” said Sir Philip. “I’m too hot, damme, to walk with you any more — but I’m your man if you’ve a mind for a swim — here’s the Serpentine river, Clarence — hey? damn it! — hey?”
Sir Philip and all his companions knew that Clarence had never learned to swim.
“You may wink at one another, as wisely as you please,” said Clarence, “but come on, my boys — I am your man for a swim — hundred guineas upon it!
——‘Darest thou, Rochfort, now
Leap in with me into this weedy flood,
And swim to yonder point?’”
and instantly Hervey, who had in his confused head some recollection of an essay of Dr. Franklin on swimming, by which he fancied that he could ensure at once his safety and his fame, threw off his coat and jumped into the river — luckily he was not in boots. Rochfort, and all the other young men stood laughing by the river side.
“Who the devil are these two that seem to be making up to us?” said Sir Philip, looking at two gentlemen who were coming towards them; “St. George, hey? you know every body.”
“The foremost is Percival, of Oakly-park, I think, ‘pon my honour,” replied Mr. St. George, and he then began to settle how many thousands a year Mr. Percival was worth. This point was not decided when the gentlemen came up to the spot where Sir Philip was standing.
The child for whose sake Clarence Hervey had lost his bet was Mr. Percival’s, and he came to thank him for his civility. — The gentleman who accompanied Mr. Percival was an old friend of Clarence Hervey’s; he had met him abroad, but had not seen him for some years.
“Pray, gentlemen,” said he to Sir Philip and his party, “is Mr. Clarence Hervey amongst you? I think I saw him pass by me just now.”
“Damn it, yes — where is Clary, though?” exclaimed Sir Philip, suddenly recollecting himself. — Clarence Hervey at this instant was drowning: he had got out of his depth, and had struggled in vain to recover himself.
“Curse me, if it’s not all over with Clary,” continued Sir Philip. “Do any of you see his head any where? Damn you, Rochfort, yonder it is.”
“Damme, so it is,” said Rochfort; “but he’s so heavy in his clothes, he’d pull me down along with him to Davy’s locker:— damme, if I’ll go after him.”
“Damn it, though, can’t some of ye swim? Can’t some of ye jump in?” cried Sir Philip, turning to his companions: “damn it, Clarence will go to the bottom.”
And so he inevitably would have done, had not Mr. Percival at this instant leaped into the river, and seized hold of the drowning Clarence. It was with great difficulty that he dragged him to the shore. — Sir Philip’s party, as soon as the danger was over, officiously offered their assistance. Clarence Hervey was absolutely senseless. “Damn it, what shall we do with him now?” said Sir Philip: “Damn it, we must call some of the people from the boat-house — he’s as heavy as lead: damn me, if I know what to do with him.” [2]
Whilst Sir Philip was damning himself, Mr. Percival ran to the boat-house for assistance, and they carried the body into the house. The elderly gentleman who had accompanied Mr. Percival now made his way through the midst of the noisy crowd, and directed what should be done to restore Mr. Hervey’s suspended animation. Whilst he was employed in this benevolent manner, Clarence’s worthy friends were sneering at him, and whispering to one another; “Ecod, he talks as if he was a doctor,” said Rochfort.
“‘Pon honour, I do believe,” said St. George, “he is the famous Dr. X——; I met him at a circulating library t’other day.”
“Dr. X—— the writer, do you mean?” said Sir Philip; “then, damn me, we’d better get out of his way as fast as we can, or he’ll have some of us down in black and white; and curse me, if I should choose to meet with myself in a book.”
“No danger of that,” said Rochfort; “for how can one meet with oneself in a book, Sir Philip, if one never opens one? — By Jove, that’s the true way.”
“But, ‘pon my honour,” said St. George, “I should like of all things to see myself in print; ’twould make one famously famous.”
“Damn me, if I don’t flatter myself, though, one can make oneself famous enough to all intents and purposes without having any thing to say to these author geniuses. You’re a famous fellow, faith! to want to see yourself in print — I’ll publish this in Bond-street: damn it, in point of famousness, I’d sport my Random against all the books that ever were read or written, damn me! But what are we doing here?”
“Hervey’s in good hands,” said Rochfort, “and this here’s a cursed stupid lounge for us — besides, it’s getting towards dinner-time; so my voice is, let’s be off, and we can leave St. George (who has such a famous mind to be in the doctor’s hook) to bring Clary after us, when he’s ready for dinner and good company again, you know — ha! ha! ha!”
Away the faithful friends went to the important business of their day.
When Clarence Hervey came to his senses he started up, rubbed his eyes, and looked about, exclaiming —“What’s all this? — Where am I? — Where’s Baddely? — Where’s Rochfort? — Where are they all?”
“Gone home to dinner,” answered Mr. St. George, who was a hanger-on of Sir Philip’s; “but they left me to bring you after them. Faith, Clary, you’ve had a squeak for your life! ‘Pon my honour, we thought at one time it was all over with you — but you’re a rough one: we shan’t have to ‘pour over your grave a full bottle of red’ as yet, my boy — you’ll do as well as ever. So I’ll