Dec. 17. Today eleven brethren and sisters were proposed for fellowship. The Lord still uses us as instruments. Truly, our labour in the Lord is not in vain!
Dec. 20. As the expenses for the Orphans have been above 47l. within the last six days, and as but little above 13l. has come in, and as the money for printing the Report had to be kept back, in order that we might not be in debt, we were again today very low in funds, though it is but six days since the public meetings. As I knew that tomorrow several pounds would be needed to supply the matrons, I gave myself this morning to prayer. About a quarter of an hour afterwards I received 3l., the payment of a legacy, left by a sister, who fell asleep in Jesus several months since, in Ireland. Besides this I received from the brother, through whom the legacy was paid, 2l. 10s. for the Orphan-Fund. With this 5l. 10s. I hope to be able to meet the expenses of tomorrow.
I observe here that it might have been naturally supposed that every heart would be touched, through what was publicly stated about the remarkable manner in which the Lord had provided for us for nearly 150 days, and that consequently an abundance of means would have come in. To this is to be added, that 50l. 5s. 3d. was in hand on Dec. 10, and that therefore it seemed not likely that we should be in need; and yet, by Dec. 20, we were again so poor, that there was nothing to meet the expenses of the next day, as has just been related. All this came not unawares upon me and my fellow-labourers; for we had been taught to look off from all creature expectations to the living God. It was on this account that, many times in our prayer meetings during November and the beginning of December, we were led to ask the Lord, not to allow us to expect an influx of means because, for the benefit of the Church, our circumstances would be made known at the public meetings. And how kind was it of the Lord to give us prayer about this, and thus to prepare us beforehand; for had we leaned upon natural expectations, we should have been surely disappointed, as only six days after the meetings we were as poor as ever. By the grace of God we are so acquainted with the heart of our Father, that we speak not about these things to excite the compassion of our fellow saints, for we have learned to lean upon God only; but we make known His dealings with us, that others may be led "to taste and see that the Lord is good," and to put their trust in Him.
The sister who left the 3l. for the Orphans, as just alluded to, also left 3l. for the funds of the other objects, 20l. to be divided between brother Craik and me, and 3l. for the poor saints.
Dec. 22. A solemn day. I received today the information from my father that my brother died on October 7th. When I saw him in April this year, he was living in open sin, and in disunion with my father. I cannot learn that his end was different from his life, so that I have no comfort in his death.—Of all the trials that can befall a believer, the death of an unconverted near relative seems to me one of the greatest. "Shall not the judge of all the earth do right?" must be the stay of the believer at such a time, and, by grace, it is my stay now. I know that the Lord is glorified in my brother, whatever his end has been: whether in his last hours, like the thief, on the cross, he was saved, or whether he died in sin and unbelief; yet I do, as to myself, desire from my heart to adore that grace which plucked me as a brand out of the burning, many years ago.—May the Lord make this event a lasting blessing to me, especially in leading me to earnestness in prayer for my father!
Dec. 26. From the 21st to this day several small donations had come in for the Orphans, so that we were supplied as we needed. Today there was ten-pence left, after the days expenses had been met. One hour after the Lord kindly appeared again. 5l. was sent by Q. Q. This money came, just after I had prayed for means.
Dec. 27. Today came in 2l. 12s. 6d., whereby the Lord has again helped us to meet the probable expenses of tomorrow.
Dec. 28. This evening the Lord kindly sent further help, when we were again destitute of the means of providing for tomorrow. I received 20l. (half for the Orphan-Fund, and half for the other funds), with Ecclesiastes ix. 10: "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest."
Dec. 29. A sister, having felt herself particularly stirred up about the Orphans, as she writes, sent this evening 7l. five pounds from herself, and 2l. which had been sent from the EAST INDIES. To the Lord this is to be ascribed, who, in answer to our prayers, makes these impressions on the hearts of His children.
REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1838.
1. As to the church.
68 brethren and sisters we found in fellowship, when brother Craik and I came to Bristol.
458 have been admitted into fellowship since, so that the total number would be
526 had there been no changes. But,
31 have fallen asleep.
28 are under church discipline, which is the total number of all the cases of separation from communion within these six years and seven months.
36 have left Bristol
26 have left us, but are still in Bristol. Only 26 within six years and seven months!
Total 121. There are therefore only 405 at present in fellowship with us. 61 have been added during the last year, of whom 36 have been brought among us to the knowledge of the truth.
II. As to my temporal supplies
The Lord has been pleased to give me during the past year:
1. By the Freewill Offerings through the boxes £151 6s. 8d.
2. By presents in money from believers in and out of Bristol £141 18s. 0d.
3. By money, through family connexion £40 0s. 0d.
4. By presents in clothes, provisions, etc., which were worth to me, at least £12 0s. 0d.
We have been living for six months, half free of rent whereby we have saved at least £5 0s. 0d.
Altogether £350 4s. 8d.
During no period of my life had I such need of means, on account of my own long illness and that of my dear wife, and on account of the many and particular calls for means as during the past year; but also during no period of my life has the Lord so richly supplied me. Truly, it must be manifest to all that I have served a most kind Master, during this year also, and that, even for this life, it is by far the best thing to seek to act according to the mind of the Lord, as to temporal things.
January 1st, 2nd, and 3rd, 1830. We have had three especial church prayer meetings these three days. The year commenced with mercies. In the first hour of the year there came in for the Orphans 2l. 7s., which was given after our usual prayer meeting on December 31, which this time lasted from seven in the evening till after midnight.
Jan. 11. Since December 20, came in several donations for the Orphans, so that we were supplied, before that which we had in hand was quite gone. On the seventh, however, all our money was again expended, when a brother, from the neighbourhood of London, who, is staying here, gave me 10l. Today, when this 10l. was given out, I received from London 3l. 7s., and 4s. besides. Thus the Lord, as our need is, sends help, and all in answer to prayer, without our asking any one.
Jan. 17. Since the 11th 22 small donations have again come in, by which we have been helped thus far. This afternoon all which was in hand was given for housekeeping, and I was again penniless. The Lord, however, was mindful of this, and in the evening two sovereigns were left anonymously at my house. In the paper was written: "The enclosed are for the use of the Orphan-Houses,