‘Oh yeah, and look what all those years of being with Charlotte did for me!’ Ben snapped. ‘She dumped me, remember!’
‘I know. Believe me, she regrets that now.’
Ben bit his lip, and looked out of the window onto the pavement beyond, where dozens of pedestrians danced balletically around one another, hurrying on their way. ‘Does she?’
‘Yes, of course she does. Her dad dying affected her really badly and she just had a bit of a panic. By the time she realized what she’d done, it was too late.’
‘How is she?’ Ben continued to stare out of the window as he spoke, trying to feign indifference.
‘She’s OK.’
‘Is she … is she still single?’
Freya smiled. ‘Yes. Believe it or not, you’re quite a hard act to follow, Ben Gordon.’
Ben gave a hollow laugh. ‘I thought she would end up with that guy, Luke, the one she worked with. She certainly talked about him a lot, just before we broke up.’
Freya shook her head. ‘No, they were just friends. Still are. He’s with someone else.’
Ben nodded and looked back at Freya. ‘It doesn’t matter now anyway.’
‘No,’ Freya agreed. ‘And she’s happy for you that you’ve moved on and that you and Bella have had a baby. She knows how much you wanted kids.’
‘Yeah, I think that was part of the problem. I did, she didn’t.’
‘It’s not quite that simple. It wasn’t that she didn’t want kids, I think she just wanted to be absolutely sure that you were the right one to have them with.’
‘Yeah, I get that. Oh well, it obviously wasn’t meant to be or it wouldn’t have gone wrong, would it?’ He stood up. ‘Anyway, I really need to be getting back to work.’
Freya stood up too and they walked out of the café together. ‘It’s lovely to see you, Ben, I’ve missed you.’
Ben reached down to hug her. ‘You too.’
‘And I know things are busy but will you give Matt a call when you get a chance?’
Ben nodded. ‘Sure. ’Bye, Freya.’
‘’Bye,’ she called after him, realizing as he was swallowed up by the crowd that she should have asked for his new number. As she watched him go, already on his phone, presumably to explain his whereabouts to a furious Bella, she had a horrible feeling she wouldn’t be seeing him again for a very long time.
‘So, what were you doing today that was so important you ignored my calls?’ Bella’s dark eyes blazed with a barely concealed fury.
‘I didn’t ignore your calls.’ Ben tried to eat his risotto but his mouth felt dry and it tasted a lot like cardboard. The atmosphere since he had walked through the door an hour ago had become increasingly icy. He knew if he told Bella the truth about his whereabouts when she was trying to get hold of him at lunchtime, it would only make things worse. ‘I was at work, Bella. I can’t just drop everything and take a personal call every time my phone rings. It’s unprofessional and it will get me into trouble. We can’t afford for me to lose this job.’
Bella threw down her own fork with a clatter that made them both jump. ‘But what if it’s urgent? What if it’s something to do with Elodie?’
‘Well, then of course I will drop everything and come running. But it wasn’t about Elodie, was it?’
Bella’s bottom lip started to tremble and Ben could feel himself physically having to squash down the impatience that was rising in his chest. Every time he even slightly challenged her, she either threw a tantrum or cried. It was becoming increasingly wearing.
But, he reminded himself sternly, she was a new mother and her emotions and hormones were running amok. He had to be patient with her. ‘Come on, sweetheart. Don’t get upset. You are doing a fantastic job with our gorgeous baby. I’m so proud of you.’
Bella gave him a watery smile and wiped her eyes. ‘Thank you. I’m sorry for calling so often, it’s just that I get so bloody lonely sometimes. It’s really, really hard.’
Ben reached out and took her hand in his. ‘Of course it is. I completely understand, darling. But … You don’t have to be lonely.’
Bella took her hand away and sat up a bit straighter, as if anticipating what he was about to say.
‘I’m sure Mum is desperate to see Elodie and she’d be so happy to help out. To give you a bit of a break.’
Bella pursed her lips and looked away.
Ben took a deep breath. ‘Why don’t we invite her round? Come on, Bella, otherwise it’s a bit like cutting off your nose to spite your face.’
Ben tried to read her expression. The fact that she hadn’t immediately jumped down his throat gave him a tiny scintilla of hope.
‘Maybe,’ she began, blinking slowly. ‘But you have to be here, too. I don’t want to see her on my own, just in case …’ She left her words hanging in the air.
Ben nodded furiously, not caring what Bella was insinuating. ‘Of course I’ll be here. How about this weekend? Shall I ask them to come here then?’
‘Them? Invite your dad, too?’
Ben frowned. ‘Well, yes. I’m sure he’s as desperate to meet his first grandchild as Mum is.’
Bella looked away again, her expression unreadable. Finally, she shrugged nonchalantly. ‘I suppose so.’
Ben felt giddy with elation. It hadn’t struck him until now how much the strain of being estranged from his family was affecting him. He missed them desperately and seeing Freya had reminded him that they weren’t monsters and that his mum had been under huge stress the day she snapped at Bella. And a tiny part of him also felt that maybe his mum had had a point. Bella had behaved like a spoilt child at Christmas with her strange behaviour.
He finished his dinner, trying to eat as slowly as possible so as not to look too eager to get to his phone. ‘Why don’t you go and have a relaxing bath while I clear up?’ he suggested, not wanting her to overhear his conversation. ‘I’ll listen out for Elodie.’
She hesitated, before nodding. ‘OK, that would be nice. Thanks.’
Ben busied himself tidying up until he heard her turning off the taps and climbing into the bath.
‘Mum, it’s me,’ he said, as soon as Jo answered.
‘Oh, Ben!’ Ben could hear the tears in Jo’s voice. There was a long pause before she spoke again, having composed herself slightly. ‘Sweetheart, it is so lovely to hear from you. How are you, my darling?’
Ben suddenly thought he might cry. He took a second to compose himself before he spoke. ‘Good, Mum. I’m really good.’
‘And Elodie? How is she?’ There was a nervousness in Jo’s voice that made Ben feel instantly ashamed. This was Jo’s first grandchild and she was clearly scared to even ask about her.
‘Well, that’s why I’m calling, actually. We wondered if you and Dad would like to come and visit this weekend? Say, Saturday.’
There was a short pause before Jo answered. ‘We’d love to, of course we would. But is it OK with Bella? I don’t want to upset her.’
‘Of course! She’d love to see you too.’ Ben almost choked on the lie but there was no other answer he could give.
‘Oh,