This wine doesn't cost us a penny,
Tho' it's Pommry seventy-four!
CHORUS. So, bumpers—aye, ever so many—etc.
(March heard.)
LUD. (recit.). Why, who is this approaching,
Upon our joy encroaching?
Some rascal come a-poaching
Who's heard that wine we're broaching?
ALL. Who may this be?
Who may this be?
Who is he? Who is he? Who is he?
Enter HERALD.
HER. The Prince of Monte Carlo,
From Mediterranean water,
Has come here to bestow
On you his beautiful daughter.
They've paid off all they owe,
As every statesman oughter—
That Prince of Monte Carlo
And his be-eautiful daughter!
CHORUS. The Prince of Monte Carlo, etc.
HER. The Prince of Monte Carlo,
Who is so very partickler,
Has heard that you're also
For ceremony a stickler—
Therefore he lets you know
By word of mouth auric'lar—
(That Prince of Monte Carlo
Who is so very particklar)—
CHORUS. The Prince of Monte Carlo, etc.
HER. That Prince of Monte Carlo,
From Mediterranean water,
Has come here to bestow
On you his be-eautiful daughter!
LUD. (recit.). His Highness we know not—nor the locality
In which is situate his Principality;
But, as he guesses by some odd fatality,
This is the shop for cut and dried formality!
Let him appear—
He'll find that we're
Remarkable for cut and dried formality.
(Reprise of March. Exit HERALD.
LUDWIG beckons his Court.)
LUD. I have a plan—I'll tell you all the plot of it—
He wants formality—he shall have a lot of it!
(Whispers to them, through symphony.)
Conceal yourselves, and when I give the cue,
Spring out on him—you all know what to do!
(All conceal themselves behind the draperies that enclose the
stage.)
Pompous March. Enter the PRINCE and PRINCESS OF MONTE CARLO,
attended by six theatrical-looking nobles and the Court
Costumier.
DUET—Prince and PRINCESS.
PRINCE. We're rigged out in magnificent array
(Our own clothes are much gloomier)
In costumes which we've hired by the day
From a very well-known costumier.
COST. (bowing). I am the well-known costumier.
PRINCESS. With a brilliant staff a Prince should make a show
(It's a rule that never varies),
So we've engaged from the Theatre Monaco
Six supernumeraries.
NOBLES. We're the supernumeraries.
ALL. At a salary immense,
Quite regardless of expense,
Six supernumeraries!
PRINCE. They do not speak, for they break our grammar's laws,
And their language is lamentable—
And they never take off their gloves, because
Their nails are not presentable.
NOBLES. Our nails are not presentable!
PRINCESS. To account for their shortcomings manifest
We explain, in a whisper bated,
They are wealthy members of the brewing interest
To the Peerage elevated.
NOBLES. To the Peerage elevated.
ALL. They're/We're very, very rich,
And accordingly, as sich,
To the Peerage elevated.
PRINCE. Well, my dear, here we are at last—just in time
to
compel Duke Rudolph to fulfil the terms of his marriage contract.
Another hour and we should have been too late.
PRINCESS. Yes, papa, and if you hadn't fortunately
discovered a means of making an income by honest industry, we
should never have got here at all.
PRINCE. Very true. Confined for the last two years within
the precincts of my palace by an obdurate bootmaker who held a
warrant for my arrest, I devoted my enforced leisure to a study
of the doctrine of chances—mainly with the view of ascertaining
whether there was the remotest chance of my ever going out for a
walk again—and this led to the discovery of a singularly
fascinating little round game which I have called Roulette, and
by which, in one sitting, I won no less than five thousand
francs! My first act was to pay my bootmaker—my second, to
engage a good useful working set of second-hand nobles—and my
third, to hurry you off to Pfennig Halbpfennig as fast as a train
de luxe could carry us!
PRINCESS. Yes, and a pretty job-lot of second-hand nobles
you've scraped together!
PRINCE (doubtfully). Pretty, you think? Humph! I don't
know. I should say tol-lol, my love—only tol-lol. They are not
wholly satisfactory. There is a certain air of unreality about
them—they are not convincing.
COST. But, my goot friend, vhat can you expect for
eighteenpence a day!
PRINCE. Now take this Peer, for instance. What the deuce
do you call him?
COST. Him? Oh, he's a swell—he's the Duke of Riviera.
PRINCE. Oh, he's a Duke, is he? Well, that's no reason
why
he should look so confoundedly haughty. (To Noble.) Be affable,
sir! (Noble takes attitude of affability.) That's better.
(Passing to another.) Now, who's this with his moustache coming
off?
COST. Vhy; you're Viscount Mentone, ain't you?
NOBLE. Blest if I know. (Turning up sword-belt.) It's
wrote here—yes,