JASPER. What woman?
MRS. GOLIGHTLY. The London woman who is looking for a hairdresser. I told you about her coming here nearly a week ago.
JASPER. She hasn’t gone back to London?
MRS GOLIGHTLY. NO, she is searching for him still, and she thinks she saw him on the ferry two days ago, but she lost sight of him. (Lets ball fall.)
JASPER (to himself while picking up ball). I call this persecution, I do. (Gives ball to MRS. GOLIGHTLY, who resumes winding.)
Perhaps she was mistaken?
MRS GOLIGHTLY. NO, she recognised him from a distance by a straw hat he was wearing. It was one she had presented to him.
JASPER. Oh! (He is wearing a straw hat and touches it guiltily.) Did she call him names?
MRS. GOLIGHTLY. Yes. (JASPER frowns.) But she wouldn’t let me say a word against him. (JASPER smiles.)
JASPER. You met her in a shop?
MRS. GOLIGHTLY. Yes.
JASPER. What was she doing?
MRS. GOLIGHTLY. Yes, and she seemed on good terms with the shopman. Thank you, Colonel. (Wool is now wound.)
(Exit MRS. GOLIGHTLY into saloon.)
JASPER (aside). Sarah carrying on! I can’t abide a woman that carries on. (Enter boat.) I’ll pay her out when I get her alone. And her engaged to me too.
(Enter punt with PENNY alone.)
PENNY. I didn’t know you was here, sir. (On plank.)
JASPER (sighing). No?
PENNY. You are sighing, sir?
JASPER. Penny, do you know what it is to be deceived?
PENNY. Oh, yes, sir.
JASPER. How did you get over it?
PENNY. Tried another, sir.
JASPER. I like you, Penny.
PENNY. Oh, sir.
JASPER. YOU would make a nice little sister. Come here.
(He kisses her.)
PENNY. Thank you, sir.
JASPER. It is nothing.
(Exit PENNY.)
There is something fascinating about young women, be their station high or low.
W. G. (at top of ladder). We start in five minutes remember, Bell.
BELL (enters on deck; — to herself). I will marry the man I ought to love, Colonel Neil, and not Mr. Upjohn, whom I oughtn’t to care a bit about. I will!
W. G. What did you say? (She does not answer and he looks at her.)
JASPER. Sarah knew me by my straw hat! (Takes it off, looks guiltily around him, lays it down on plank, takes cap from his pocket and puts it on, sits on bow.)
BELL. Ah, this is Colonel Neil. (Looks up from book.) ‘ejus leto fiagitium timet—’A man who would rather die than act meanly’ — that must be the man for me.
W. G. (coming down ladder). I say, Colonel, Bell is a bit queer, isn’t she?
JASPER. How?
W. G. I suppose she is brooding about Upjohn. You know they are in a thingummy, and he wanted her to be his what-you-call-it, but they had a tiff, and he went back to London.
JASPER. She loves this Upjohn?
W. G. No end.
JASPER. Are you sure?
W. G. Rather. (Goes through saloon while JASPER stands reflecting.)
JASPER. Then I’ll ask her to be my sister — she’s upon deck — the more the merrier.
BELL ‘Yustum et tenacem propositi virum—’ A loyal man and true’ — Colonel Neil again. Yes, I will love him.
JASPER (goes on deck). Always with a book in your hand, Miss Golightly.
BELL. It is Horace.
JASPER. A cousin of a friend of mine — one of my favourites.
BELL. I like him too, but don’t you think he is a little —
JASPER. Well, perhaps just a little.
BELL. This might be addressed to you. (Reading) Quid terras alio calentes sole mutamus?
JASPER (aside). This is very awkward. (Aloud) Miss Golightly — Bell — may I call you Bell?
BELL (starting). Do!
JASPER (aside). I’ll bounce a bit. (Aloud) Bell, until I met you I never knew what a woman could be.
BELL (aside). How much nobler than Mr. Upjohn? (To him) What does one mean by an ideal woman? He means — man’s helpmate; not his plaything, his equal in mind — no domestic drudge, no pretty-faced ninny, man’s partner — not his mere housekeeper to be petted by him or bullied by him, a free human being to be argued with, not coerced, a sharer in the responsibilities of government, a thinker, a doer, his equal, in short.
JASPER (breathlessly). In short.
BELL. Colonel Neil, I agree with every word you have said.
JASPER. I haven’t said many.
BELL (aside). Oh, I must love this man, I must despise the other.
(W. G. comes to them.)
W. G. Hi, everybody — time to start. (Gets punt ready, puts cushions in punt.)
JASPER (looking down). A moment, W. G. Run and play.
(Turning to BELL) Bell, I love you.
BELL. NO, no, don’t say that.
JASPER (aside). It’s all right, she prefers the other chap.
(Aloud) Bell, will you marry me?
BELL (swaying and then controlling herself). Colonel Neil, yes, I will. (Rises — gives him her hands impulsively, then runs down ladder steps.) Oh, what have I done? (Turns back.) Don’t mention it to anyone — yet. (Goes into saloon, where she meets MRS. GOLIGHTLY.)
JASPER (horrified and amazed — in chair). She will! Miss Golightly, come back. It is all a mistake. I was only asking you to be my sister. Whew! I must put a stop to this.
MRS. GOLIGHTLY. Bell, Penny is anxious to see the cricket match. Do you think it safe to leave the houseboat without anyone in it?
BELL (evidently thinking of other matters). Quite safe.
JASPER. Sarah, I’ll swear I never meant marriage to her.
W. G. Come on! Colonel, slide down the rope.
JASPER. Not if I know it — I’m not a slider.
(MRS. GOLIGHTLY and PENNY take their places in the punt.)
BELL (at saloon window). Kit, what have I done? (Comes to stern.) You horrid book! (Enters punt, nanny follows with banjo.)
(Banjo plays, ANDREW pulls up blind, JASPER descends ladder, and BELL signs silence to him by putting finger on her lip. She enters punt, NANNY enters, presses JASPER’S hand significantly, and enters punt, JASPER enters punt, and W. G. is about to punt off.)
NANNY. Stop! Where is Mr. McPhail?
W.