Soldier's Christmas Secrets. Laura Scott

rather than husband and wife.

      “How do you know about this place with cabins and a playground anyway?”

      “Used it last summer when a friend of mine needed to hide out for a while.”

      “Mike Callahan? That friend?”

      He nodded.

      More silence, and it occurred to her that attempting to have a conversation with Hawk was harder work than panning for gold. Not that she’d ever tried panning for gold.

      “I’m sorry,” she finally said.

      He frowned. “For what?”

      She let out a sigh. “For insinuating that you don’t have a family. It’s just—difficult to wrap my mind around all of this.”

      “Understandable. And as I said before, it doesn’t have to change anything between us.”

      But it did, she thought. Knowing Hawk was James changed everything.

      She found herself thinking about the future more than ever. How her relationship with Hawk would move forward after the danger was over.

      “Mommy, I’m hungry,” Lizzy said plaintively.

      Glancing at the clock, she was surprised to see it was approaching eleven o’clock in the morning. Considering they’d been up by six and running for their lives since seven, she couldn’t blame Lizzy for wanting to eat.

      “We’ll stop at a restaurant soon,” Hawk surprised her by saying. “There’s one not too far away. And there’s a drugstore nearby, too.”

      She was glad to hear they’d soon have the supplies they needed to tend to his wound.

      “Can I have chicken strips?” Lizzy asked.

      Jillian smiled. “Sure.”

      “Okay.” Lizzy was satisfied with that response.

      “I take it those are her favorites?” Hawk asked.

      “Yes. With lots of ketchup.” She was saddened by the fact that Hawk didn’t know these small details about his daughter. Her favorite foods, favorite books, her friends at day care.

      Five months that they could have spent getting reunited had been wasted. In fact, she doubted that Hawk would have come clean at all if it hadn’t been for her need to be rescued.

      “You have no idea who they were?” She glanced over her shoulder at Lizzy to make sure she wasn’t listening. Amazingly, despite running for their lives, riding a snowmobile and going up into a tree, Lizzy still had her ragged teddy bear. Her cheek was resting on the teddy bear’s head, her eyes drooping with sleepiness.

      “No. Other than I assume they were sent by either Barton or Hayes.”

      “But why come to my house?” Jillian asked.

      Hawk glanced at her. “It’s no secret we were once married. The only thing I can figure out is that they intended to kidnap you and Lizzy in order to get me to come out of hiding.”

      Chills rippled down her spine at his theory. “But that doesn’t make any sense. It wouldn’t have worked. I didn’t even know you were alive until this morning.”

      “They didn’t know that,” Hawk reasoned. “I have to assume that my prying into Senator Barton’s past triggered several alarms. They’d never found my body after the plane crash but probably chalked that up to me crawling off somewhere to die.”

      “Maybe.” She wasn’t convinced.

      “It’s possible they now believe we’ve been in touch with each other over the years.”

      Ridiculous, since there had been no contact since the day she’d been informed that James had died.

      “That was the worst day of my life,” she said in a low voice.

      “What was?”

      She struggled to ward off tears. “Finding out you were dead on the same day I discovered I was pregnant.”

      Hawk’s grip on the steering wheel tightened to the point his knuckles went white. A thick, heavy silence hung between them for several miles. “I’m sorry you had to go through that,” he finally managed.

      She sniffled and swiped at her face. Why she was getting all emotional over this, she had no idea. She felt guilty for making him feel bad. “It was hardly your fault. It was just—rotten timing.”

      “Yeah.” There was a pause, then he asked, “Who came to see you?”

      She shook her head helplessly. “I can’t remember his name now but probably have it at home somewhere. I think he left his card. Master Sergeant Somebody-or-other.”

      “I’m surprised you kept it all these years.”

      “I kept a lot of things over the years.” There was no reason to feel defensive, and she tried to tone it down. “I have several pictures of us together. I show them to Lizzy so she’ll remember you.”

      “That’s, uh, nice.” Hawk’s tone held uncertainty and she realized she’d done it again. Lizzy didn’t have to remember her father from a photo.

      He was here now. He looked different, yes, but he was still her father. And they needed to find a time to tell the little girl that Hawk was her daddy.

      Which also meant that in the eyes of God, they were still married.

      All at once, it all seemed overwhelming. She’d made a life for herself and Lizzy, and now things would never be the same. Hawk deserved to spend time with his daughter, she wouldn’t keep that from him.