I’ll give a few examples. At one point, I didn’t have any friends. At another, I was made redundant from my job in the City. I also broke up with Mike, the man I thought was going to be my ‘forever guy’ (he’s now my husband, so go figure!). Another time, I quit my job to be a full-time YouTuber and that didn’t work out so well … as you’ll find out. But all those experiences have helped to shape me as an individual and lead me to the place I am at now.
Take the situation with my friends – or lack of them. That came about when, at university, I was sharing a house with a roommate. We didn’t argue, but the atmosphere grew very cold and distant quite quickly. Even today, I can’t pinpoint exactly what the issue was: it was all unsaid, which was harder to resolve. I found solace in the online world. When she’d go out, I’d go straight upstairs and get on to my computer. There, I was able to escape my reality, distracting myself by getting deep into the world of makeup, hair and beauty – things I’d always loved, but had never had anyone to chat to about passionately. I started on a picture-sharing forum for women who wanted to grow their hair, improve their skin, and slay their makeup, where you could also write comments: Fotki, the Reddit of all things beauty. I would spend hours reading through people’s profiles, following their journeys to a greater glow and even longer hair. They would share pictures and then eventually move on to video: that was my fix before Instagram! You could swap tips and share praise. ‘Oh my gosh,’ we’d tell each other, ‘your hair has grown so much. And your skin looks great!’
I wouldn’t let anybody in my real life know that I could spend hours on these forums. How crazy would I sound talking about my weekend with a garlic and mayo scalp mix slathered on my hair, an egg face mask on and sweet potato skins on my eyes? It wasn’t really bragging material. Some people would mix hair-growth stimulants and sulphur with oil! (I don’t recommend you try that.) Or, they’d share unusual ideas such as the inversion method – tipping your head upside down and giving yourself a scalp massage to stimulate blood flow (also a headache). But we hoped an enviable head of hair would result! We’d set ourselves challenges and update each other every day on what we were doing. Looking back, what we were into was pretty niche, but it was amazing to be part of a community of like-minded people. Some people are into computer games and films, some of us are into the finer things in life, like sulphur mixes! All the time, I was tapping away, immersing myself in this world that I loved.
Now that I look back, I think, What the hell was I up to? It does make me laugh. But the people on those forums really did something for me, though they didn’t know it: they saved me when I didn’t have any friends. (And, I do have to say, my hair was so much healthier in my days of mayo masks – really full and thick!) What’s more, my time online back then led me to my career today. I was spending all this time on these forums looking at photos and watching a ton of videos on all things hair and beauty, and eventually fashion-related content too. I had fallen in love – and knew that I wanted to do this. What ‘this’ was I wasn’t sure, but that didn’t stop me. So, while still a student, I bought a cheap camera – you couldn’t just use your phone to film in those days – and started recording.
My first YouTube video was just a minute and a half long, introducing me to the world … or so I hoped. ‘Hi, I’m Patricia. This is my new channel.’ I probably had an American twang, because I was watching so many people who did. ‘I’m going to do fashion,’ I announced. ‘I’m going to do makeup. K, see you, bye.’ That was pretty much it. I was staring into the lens, trying to be quite sultry! Back then, I imitated people I liked, so it wasn’t very me, but that didn’t matter. It was a start.
My second video was a ‘haul’ – which was basically like sitting down with your girlfriends and sharing with them what bargains you were able to pick up at the stores. Back then, I used to go vintage shopping and so I showed off some of the items I had bought. And my third was a DIY, where I put buttons and trims onto a few Primark tops. I remember the moment I finally reached ten views. I was so excited, until I realised it was because I had refreshed the page ten times – they were all my views! Still, I gradually started to get a few people checking me out. I used to comment on other people’s videos, and sometimes they would comment back and watch mine. I’d think, Oh my God, they’ve noticed me! And then, I just kept going … So, although in my real life I was quite lonely, I was connecting in the digital space – and something truly great came of it.
Always remember: you never know how your story is going to turn out. You will go through sticky moments, as I did, and still do, and you might not enjoy every step along the road, but I promise you the results will be worth it. All the good things that have happened for me didn’t happen overnight, or without hard work, but they did happen, and they can for you too. YOU have control! And even when it’s really tough, it’s still not as hard as waking up in five years’ and realising you could have started turning your life around five years ago – but you’re still exactly where you were back then. So buckle up. YOU are in the driving seat!
Let’s make a start – going all the way back to the beginning …
Everyone starts from somewhere – and usually it’s not the place where we want to be. As Drake puts it, ‘Started from the bottom’. Most of us, even if we want to build a long-term hustling strategy, start out working for someone else. That doesn’t mean you won’t – like me – eventually become your own boss. Although, funnily enough, I did start out as my own boss …
Growing up grinding
Even before I ever had a job, I was earning money from the age of thirteen. I knew I had to get my hustle on early, because nothing was going to be handed to me on a plate. As a kid, I didn’t get pocket money – I got dinner money, and that was about it. My parents (Dad being back in the UK by this point) weren’t stingy, but they wanted me to learn how to look after what I had. So, I’d be given my £10 or £15 for the week, and then I could do whatever I wanted with it. A lot of it went on McDonald’s pancakes and sausage for breakfast, but I tried to be smart and save at least £2 per week here and there, even if that meant skipping the school lunch and making my own sandwiches at home.
But there was nothing spare to have fun with. I thought that there must be a way to get around this – I didn’t have to be broke. So it was only natural that I decided to use my head and figure out ways to make some cash. I’d taught myself how to do braids and cornrows, having watched my mum do my sister’s hair, and had eventually become the family’s resident hairstylist. For aunties and cousins, I was the go-to girl, and I loved it. I did hair like it was therapy, and practised a lot on myself. At secondary school, I was beginning to get a lot of attention because of it. Girls would say to me admiringly, ‘Your hair is so nice.’ I’d tell them I did it myself, and they’d ask me to do theirs. Cha-ching! I saw my opportunity and started a little business. I became the playground stylist, and for £5 half a head and £10 a full head, I would do whatever they wanted: zigzags, patterns and other designs. Soon I had regular clients and could make what my parents gave me for a week in a single day. Now I had the extra money I wanted for ice lollies and McD’s pancakes – the finer things in life!
Entering