Eva smiled politely. ‘Sorry, Laura, but I, er, I didn’t meet Brad Pitt.’
Laura looked down at her notes. ‘Cut,’ she said, her big smile fading immediately. She looked at the camerawoman. ‘Let’s start that again.’ And on the count of three her smile was back on her face. ‘So, Eva, give us The Scoop, what was it like meeting George Clooney?’
Eva looked rather nervously and a little angrily in Gaby’s direction.
‘I didn’t actually meet George Clooney. What happened is that a company who were working with him contacted me and asked if I would buy a gift for him on their behalf.’
‘Ooh, George Clooney, girls!’ Laura pulled her microphone away from Eva’s mouth and screeched into it excitedly, looking directly at the hand-held camera. The camera, almost in response to her excited squeal tilted and darted at an angle towards them both. Hoping to avoid an on-air collision, Eva jerked backwards on the high stool, not looking very cool in the process. Gaby held her head in her hands.
‘So what did you buy him? An exclusive here on The Scoop.’ Laura looked at the camera excitedly again and then back to Eva. ‘Spill the beans!’
‘I’m sorry to disappoint you,’ Eva said pleasantly but coolly, ‘but I declined the job, which really does explain my company ethos.’ She brightened up then, excited to be talking about her baby. ‘I developed “Dedicated” so that I can personally dedicate my time to finding the perfect gift for the perfect person. In order to do that, I like to spend time with the person so that I can really get a sense of what it is that their heart truly desires. I can’t shop for someone I don’t know or else how is it personal shopping?’
Gaby covered her head in her hands and cringed, directly in Eva’s eyeline.
Laura’s eyes had glazed over halfway through Eva’s spiel and Kitty could bet her savings, not that there was much, that most if not all of what Eva had said would end up on the cutting-room floor. All Eva had to do was make a sexually derogatory comment about George Clooney and the producers of the show would have been delighted. Sincere as Eva sounded, to Kitty’s critical and arguably cynical ear, she wasn’t quite sure if she believed in Eva’s ethos or if she really believed that Eva believed in her ethos, but her personal shopping idea was different and it stood out from the rest of the market. She supposed that’s what companies were looking to do. It seemed quite a long way to go about doing something quite as simple as buying a present.
The man next to Eva was throwing her dagger looks at her last comment.
‘Beside Eva, we have Arnotts’ personal shopper, Jack Wilson. So, Jack, tell us about some of the things you’ll be purchasing this year for your clients.’
‘Well,’ he looked directly at the camera, ‘we have this Tom Ford iPad sleeve. Perfect for the man in your life who loves designer accessories. It will also keep the iPad protected from the sand on upcoming summer hols. It retails at one thousand five hundred euro, which is a great price for such a luxury.’
Eva’s eyes widened.
‘Stop it,’ Gaby muttered under her breath and the sound man threw her a look.
‘We also have this Coco Chanel umbrella. Perfect for the lady in your life who doesn’t like to get wet.’
‘Great for the frizzy-hair, girls,’ Laura said to the camera, and the camera went wild in response, moving in so close to her face it almost headbutted her.
‘And that retails at one thousand euro.’
Eva’s mouth dropped, as did Kitty’s, but Kitty wasn’t currently on camera. She could feel Gaby raging beside her.
‘What celebrities will you be shopping for?’ Laura asked.
‘Oh, we get them all in here.’ Jack proceeded to list any stars who were known to be jetting into the Irish capital for summer concerts and Kitty noted his use of the word ‘possibly’ before he named anyone.
‘Wow. Hear that guys? Madonna! Moving on, Eva, these sunglasses we see on the likes of Victoria Beckham and Katie Holmes, who would you see yourself buying these for?’
‘Of my clients?’
‘Come on, come on,’ Gaby urged.
‘Well, my client list is strictly private, I wouldn’t—’
‘Yes, but what kind of person would you buy these for?’
‘Who would I buy sunglasses for?’ She looked around as if someone was playing a trick on her.
‘Worn by Victoria Beckham and Katie Holmes,’ Laura said through gritted teeth. Eva’s mouth opened and closed but no words would come out.
‘Well, can I just say,’ Jack jumped in, ‘these glasses would be perfect for the women in your life who just love Victoria Beckham and Katie Holmes and who don’t want the sun in their eyes this summer.’
‘So there you have it, guys, top tips on how to buy the perfect gift for that extra special person in your life to help them feel like a celebrity.’
Cut.
Eva jumped off the stool.
‘Jesus Christ,’ Kitty heard Laura say to the camerawoman as they were packing up. ‘What are we doing next? Vajazzling?’
‘How to help them feel like a celebrity?’ Eva said to Gaby once they were outside on Henry Street. She wasn’t shouting but her anger was obvious. ‘Sunglasses? To make people feel like a celebrity? Jesus, Gaby!’
‘Okay, so that was not the best booking I’ve ever made.’
‘Not the best? Gaby, it was the worst. Of a very bad lot. How can I share what my business is about when you keep getting me publicity like this? The message is getting lost. Nobody is listening. They don’t care about “Dedicated”, they only care about my celebrity client list and George Clooney? What was that about?’ Eva’s voice was still quiet but her annoyance was clear. Knowing Eva wasn’t yet aware of her presence, Kitty remained in the background, quite enjoying the display of Eva’s true opinion of the show.
‘It impresses people. It helps bookings,’ Gaby shrugged.
‘The fact that I did not buy a gift for George Clooney impresses people?’
‘People mostly just listen to the questions.’
Eva closed her eyes and took deep breaths. ‘I would rather not do interviews at all if these are the kind that we’re getting.’
‘It helps build your profile.’
‘You think that helped?’
‘Maybe not that.’
Eva groaned. ‘All my hard work.’ But Kitty could see she was calming down. ‘We need publicity that allows me to talk about the gift of giving, how precious it is, how special it can be, particularly in these times when people are really struggling. It’s not about how expensive something is – as a nation we’ve stopped giving lavish gifts – it’s actually about thinking about what to give someone, how it can lift them when they’re down, how they can feel loved and important and special just by one simple gesture.’
‘I know, I know, you don’t have to tell me all this, I know it all,’ Gaby said, stuffing chewing gum into her mouth. If she wasn’t talking it seemed her mouth needed to be moving up and down regardless.
‘Do you?’ Eva looked at Gaby.
‘I’m shocked and appalled that you’ve asked me that,’ she said dramatically, and Kitty felt that was for her benefit. ‘How long have we been working together, Eva?’
‘Too long?’ Eva smiled.
‘Anyway, your next appointment is here.’
‘Where?’