Mother’s time opened up when I left for New York City and Randy got a job as an usher at the Broadway Movie Theater in Santa Ana. Dorrie and Robin were wrapping up their high school years as Mother sat down and began to explore her thoughts on paper. It took the beginning of an end, on the cusp of the next decade, before Dorothy found her voice.
New Year’s Eve, 1968
I’m so excited for Robin; she got a job at Bullock’s as a demonstrator for cosmetic items. Dorrie is taking a ceramics class in Placentia. Jack and I have two Schwinn bikes we ride every other night to Baskin and Robbins 31 Flavors in Honer Plaza. So much fun. Randy’s writing more than ever. I’m so proud of him. Jack won the best speaker award at Toastmasters. Randy goes too and loves it. Diane’s coming home for a week. She got a break from rehearsals for Woody Allen’s Play It Again, Sam. Apparently she’ll be going to Hollywood for some auditions. She is now a light blond, very thin young woman. The total look is extremely GOOD! Everyone remarks about our beautiful daughters.
I started painting the kitchen. Jack’s almost got the fireplace mantel finished. It makes the whole room look just the way we want it: rustic, warm, and light. I can’t believe it’s all working out so well. I finished my first paid photo assignment today: 20 shots of Judy Weinhart in a book for $35.00. I hate to admit I’m pretty pleased. But I am.
I took a long ride in the industrial part of Santa Ana and had the greatest time looking at old rusty tin cans, wind-blown bottles, pitted rocks, toppled shacks, and torn signs. It was as if I could SEE the silence. Today Jack said that even if I divorced him, he would come home every night…. I loved that because that’s our story; we are infinitely tied to one another.
Thank you, somebody! Everybody. Thank you, Randy, Robin, Dorrie, Diane, and Jack. Thank you, people, nature, animals, Goya, and Kernel, our cats. We have so much. I feel my life is very full of beauty and love. Lets see if 1969 can be even better.
January 30, 1969
Dear Mom,
I moved yesterday; what a job! I wonder what it would be like if I actually had some furniture. Thanks for the box of goodies. I love the great teapot and the photographs. They’re fantastic. There’s no real place to put them except on the windowsill, which compensates for the LOUSY original stove. At least my stereo works. I’ve been playing Nina Simone and Morgana King, my favorite.
The rehearsals are going okay. Woody Allen is cute and, of course, very funny.
I know Dad wanted me to write down all my ideas concerning the money I owe him. Certainly I’m in no position to pay it all back right now. The landlord informed me that I owe him 29 dollars, and the telephone bills will be coming soon. When the play opens I want to take singing and dancing lessons. But tell Dad not to worry because next month I’m going to start to send 50 dollars every month until I pay back the 500 dollars I owe him. In the meantime, here’s my list of my expenses.
1. Rent $98.32. 2. Phone $10.00. 3. Phone service $5.00. 4. Singing lessons $40 a month, I guess. (Ugh.) 5. Dancing lessons $30, about. 6. Food $100 a month (I guess). That’s a total of $283 and 32 cents. It seems like an awful lot.
Love,
Diane
February 6, 1969
Jack and I flew all the way to New York City for the opening night of Play It Again, Sam. Jack Benny—Ed Sullivan—Walter Kerr—George Plimpton—Angela Lansbury—and other stars attended. We met Woody Allen afterwards. Oh my goodness. He was so shy and quiet, not like I expected at all. The play was very funny. Diane looked beautiful onstage—she wore a fall, which made her hair look really thick. She’s on a thing these days, always chewing a big mouthful of Dubble Bubble gum or sucking candy—or eating. I wish I knew how she stays so thin.
Everyone was very kind to us. At Sardi’s we sat at a table for 10 with champagne and cheesecake. We were told that Woody Allen’s new leading lady was his new heart interest too. This gave us a real kick.
February 10, 1969
We’re back home. I’m taking a class at UCI. My goal is to work HARD on writing an article and SELL IT. According to my teacher, if you want to write, write. Maybe I could work on something personal yet universal, like the way the kids are growing up so fast? I don’t know.
Seeing Diane was an experience. I can’t think of how to explain her effect on people. Of course, I’m speaking as I see her and am not without total bias. She is a mystery. She is independent. At times she’s so basic, at others so wise it frightens me that I got so far in this world without the benefit of such knowledge. I miss her.
February 18, 1969
Dear Mom,
It seems like you were just here. How did it go by so fast? Isn’t Woody hilarious? Did you really like the play? I couldn’t exactly tell. Woody does a lot of let’s just say unusual things onstage, things you wouldn’t think a person of his stature would do. Last night, in the middle of a scene he suddenly started impersonating James Earl Jones in The Great White Hope. I tried not to laugh, but it was impossible.
I think I had a date with him. We went to Frankie and Johnnie’s famous steakhouse. Everything was going well until I scraped my fork against the plate and made a normal, I stress normal, cutting noise. It must have driven him nuts, ’cause he yelped out loud. I couldn’t figure out how to cut my steak without making the same mistake, so I stopped eating and started talking about women’s status in the arts, like I know anything about women and the arts. What an idiot. The whole thing was humiliating. I doubt we’ll be having dinner together anytime soon. Today he sent me a little note. I think you’ll relate.
Love,
Diane
From Woody
Beet Head,
Humans are clean slates. There are no qualities indigenous to men or women. True, there is a different biology, but all defining choices in life affect both sexes & a woman, any woman is capable of defining herself with total FREEDOM. Therefore women are anything they choose to be & frequently have chosen & defined themselves greater than men. Don’t be fooled by THE ARTS! They’re no big deal; certainly no excuse for people acting like jerks & by that I mean, so what if up till now there were very few women artists. There may have been women far deeper than, say, Mozart or Da Vinci but contributing their genius in a different socially circumscribed context. Note how I switched from pen to pencil at this moment because in Lelouch’s film, A MAN & A WOMAN, he switches from color to black & White—So I underline my point using the same symbolism—Very clever? OK, then, very stupid.
Woody
March 20, 1969
Diane was nominated for the Best Supporting Actress for the Tony Awards coming in April. Randy’s writing teacher read two of his poems in class. One, called “Out of the Body,” was submitted to the school yearbook. He’ll make it.
Out of the Body
All the voices of my past are here in this grassy clearing
At the foot of the mountain.
At first I thought it was the rattle of nesting birds,
perhaps rocks falling from a cliff.
Like bells, the words took shape.
Paragraphs etched out of trees.
Stories of lives