“Somebody will be sweeping you, if you don’t look out!” she retorted.
“But-but! Glog-glog! Er-rumph! Glug-glug!” Speechless with astonishment, the Park Keeper blocked their path.
“Out of my way, please!” said Mary Poppins, haughtily brushing him aside as she pushed the children in front of her.
“This is the Second Time!” he gasped, suddenly finding his voice. “First it’s a Kite and now it’s a— You can’t do things like this, I tell you! It’s against the Law. And, furthermore, it’s all against Nature.”
He flung out his hand in a wild gesture and Mary Poppins popped into it a small piece of cardboard.
“Wot’s this?” he demanded, turning it over.
“My Return Ticket,” she calmly replied.
And Jane and Michael looked at each other and nodded wisely together.
“Ticket – wot ticket? Buses have tickets and so do trains. But you came down on I-don’t-know-what! Where did you come from? ’Ow did you get ’ere? That’s what I want to know!”
“Curiosity Killed a Cat!” said Mary Poppins primly. She pushed the Park Keeper to one side and left him staring at the little green ticket as though it were a ghost.
The children danced and leapt about her as they came to the Park Gates.
“Walk quietly, please,” she told them crossly. “You are not a School of Porpoises! And which of you, I’d like to know, has been playing with lighted candles?”
The Match Man scrambled up from his knees.
“I lit it, Mary,” he said eagerly. “I wanted to write you a—” He waved his hands. And there on the pavement, not quite finished, was the one word
WELCOM
Mary Poppins smiled at the coloured letters. “That’s a lovely greeting, Bert,” she said softly.
The Match Man seized her black-gloved hand, and looked at her eagerly. “Shall I see you on Thursday, Mary?” he asked.
She nodded.
“Thursday, Bert,” she said. Then she flung a withering look at the children. “No dawdling, if you please!” she commanded, as she hurried them across the Lane to Number Seventeen.
Up in the Nursery Annabel was screaming her head off. Mrs Banks was running along the hall, calling out soothing phrases. As the children opened the front door, she gave one look at Mary Poppins, and collapsed upon the stairs.
“Can it be you, Mary Poppins?” she gasped.
“It can, ma’am,” Mary Poppins said calmly.
“But – where did you spring from?” Mrs Banks cried.
“She sprang right out of a—” Michael was just about to explain when he felt Mary Poppins’ eyes upon him. He knew very well what that look meant. He stammered and was silent.
“I came from the Park, ma’am,” said Mary Poppins, with the patient air of a martyr.
“Thank goodness!” breathed Mrs Banks from her heart. Then she remembered all that had happened since Mary Poppins had left them. I mustn’t seem too pleased, she thought. Or she’ll be more uppish than ever!
“You left me Without a Word, Mary Poppins,” she said with an air of dignity. “I think you might tell me when you’re coming and going. I never know where I am.”
“Nobody does, ma’am,” said Mary Poppins, as she calmly unbuttoned her gloves.
“Don’t you, Mary Poppins?” asked Mrs Banks, in a very wistful voice.
“Oh, she knows,” Michael answered daringly. Mary Poppins gave him an angry glare.
“Well, you’re here, now, anyway!” Mrs Banks cried. She felt extremely relieved. For now she need neither advertise nor send for Miss Andrew.
“Yes, ma’am. Excuse me,” said Mary Poppins.
And she neatly stepped past Mrs Banks and put her carpet bag on the banisters. It slid up swiftly with a whistling sound and bounced into the Nursery. Then she gave the umbrella a little toss. It spread its black silk wings like a bird and flew up after the carpet bag with a parrot-like squawk.
The children gave an astonished gasp and turned to see if their Mother had noticed.
But Mrs Banks had no thought for anything but to get to the telephone.
“The Drawing-room chimney has been cleaned. We are having Lamb Chops and peas for dinner. And Mary Poppins is back!” she cried breathlessly.
“I don’t believe it!” crackled Mr Banks’ voice. “I shall come and see for myself!”
Mrs Banks smiled happily as she hung up the receiver.
Mary Poppins went primly up the stairs and the children tore past her into the Nursery. There on the hearth lay the carpet bag. And standing in its usual corner was the parrot-headed umbrella. They had a settled, satisfied air as though they had been there for years.
In the cradle, Annabel, blue in the face, was tying herself into knots. She stared in surprise at Mary Poppins, and smiled a toothless smile. Then she put on her Innocent Angel look and began to play tunes on her toes.
“Humph!” said Mary Poppins grimly, as she put her straw hat in its paper bag. She took off her coat and hung it up on the hook behind the door. Then she glanced at herself in the Nursery mirror and stopped to unlock the carpet bag.
It was quite empty except for a curled-up Tape Measure.
“What’s that for, Mary Poppins?” asked Jane.
“To measure you,” she replied quickly. “To see how you’ve grown.”
“You needn’t bother,” Michael informed her confidently. “We’ve all grown two inches. Daddy measured us.”
“Stand straight, please!” Mary Poppins said calmly, ignoring the remark. She measured him from his head to his feet and gave a loud sniff.
“I might have known it!” she said, snorting. “You’ve grown Worse and Worse.”
Michael stared. “Tape Measures don’t tell words, they tell inches,” he said protestingly.
“Since when?” she demanded haughtily, as she thrust it under his nose. There on the Tape were the tell-tale words in big blue letters:
W-O-R-S-E A-N-D W-O-R-S-E
“Oh!” he said in a horrified whisper.
“Head up, please!” said Mary Poppins, stretching the Tape against Jane.
“Jane has grown into a Wilful, Lazy, Selfish child,” she read out in triumph.
The tears came pricking into Jane’s eyes. “Oh, I haven’t, Mary Poppins!” she cried. For, funnily enough, she only remembered the times when she had been good.
Mary Poppins slipped the Tape round the Twins. “Quarrelsome” was their measurement. “Fretful and Spoilt”, was Annabel’s.
“I thought so!” Mary Poppins said, sniffing. “I’ve only got to turn my back for you to become a Menagerie!”
She drew the Tape round her own waist; and a satisfied smile spread over her face.
“Better Than Ever, Practically Perfect,” her own measurement read.
“No