He would be wrapping up filming any time now and there would be parties, perhaps on the beach in Nice where we had spent three glorious September weeks. What a different world that had been, waking up in the villa at whatever hour of the morning, wound up in sheets, Jasper already at the set hours before. I would mooch and eat fruit and drink sparkling water and swim in the pool and wait for him.
He was always worth waiting for.
I got up and toyed with some of the items on the dresser. I picked up the heavy silver-backed hairbrush and thought of Jasper brushing my hair with it. Or perhaps he would find another use … no, scratch that. He would definitely find another use for it. My bottom clenched at the mere thought.
I picked up the cut-glass perfume bottle and squeezed the tasselled bulb, spraying lily-of-the-valley scent on to my wrist. Not hundreds of years old – we refilled the bottle on a weekly basis. Jasper smelled of Russian leather and spices. To fill my nostrils with that again … oh, just the memory of it sent me back to the chair, my knees shaky with sensual longing.
When would I hear from him again?
After I left France, we had Skyped several times a day in the first week, then the frequency had declined, bit by bit, until now the last communication was some days ago. I’d made allowances for the mad dash to wrap up filming on schedule – after all, he’d already had to factor in one serious delay when his star broke his leg – but even so … four days.
I should be glad of the opportunity to experience life as a Victorian girl would; having to wait for the post to hear news of her sweetheart. How awful it must have been for them, especially with lovers and husbands at the front of some war. It was pathetic of me to pine over four days without a Skype call or text. Honestly, Sarah. Get a grip.
I could hear the others’ chat and laughter, muffled, from downstairs, then the doorbell jangled.
I opened my eyes. We didn’t have any other parties booked in, as far as I knew, until well after lunch. Had the office staff forgotten to add one?
Rob answered the door. I couldn’t quite make out what he said but it was something to do with the next performance being at three.
The responding male voice made me shoot to my feet. It sounded like …
I heard my name mentioned.
I had to grab hold of the chair arm.
‘She’s upstairs … hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?’
Footsteps, creaks on the stairs.
I ran to the pier glass and tried to ensure that I looked halfway presentable in this stupid Victorian ruffled dress with a bustle attached to my backside. Honestly, talk about an impractical uniform!
Breathe, Sarah, breathe. Don’t faint. I wasn’t wearing an actual corset, but I had a pretty tight Lycra girdle around my waist, to make the dress look properly period, and I was reminded of it now as I fought to swallow my gasps.
I wasn’t going to let him surprise me. I would go to him.
I strode over to the bedroom door and swung it open. He was there, right before me. It was him.
Now what?
‘Oh,’ I said, and my crushed ribcage and wobbly legs and panicking breath and fizzing head closed in on me, a wall of blackness rising up and taking me over, away, away …
‘You can take role-playing too far, you know.’
I opened my eyes and saw, through a blur of coloured spots, Jasper’s face close to mine while he dabbed a cool, scented handkerchief across my brow.
‘Mm hmm?’
I wasn’t sure where I was but I thought it was the sofa in the best drawing room. If Colin caught us on it … The idea was too irrelevant to take root. I had far more pressing ones swirling round and about.
‘Just because you’re dressed like a Victorian lady, you don’t have to go getting fits of the vapours,’ he said.
‘I …’ I tried to sit up. Jasper’s arm was tight around me and I couldn’t. ‘Why?’
‘I’m sorry?’
I tried again, but my mouth was dry and my lips too quivery to work effectively. ‘Why? Are you? What? Here? Why?’
He fumbled in a bag and took out a bottle of water.
‘Here,’ he said, uncapping it and putting it to my lips. ‘You need to drink.’
I swallowed a few gulps and felt the stirrings of revival. Better than sal volatile.
‘Why didn’t you email? Or text? Or anything?’ I demanded, able now to struggle to an upright position against the tension of Jasper’s arm.
‘Sorry, work’s been absolutely manic. Besides, I wanted to surprise you.’
‘Surprises are overrated.’
‘Oh, no, no, no,’ he tutted. ‘You don’t mean that.’
I could see where I was now. It was the best drawing room and Rob and Lucy were lurking in a corner as if ready to dash for first-aid assistance.
‘She’s fine,’ Jasper said to them. ‘You don’t need to hang around. But thank you.’
Rob hesitated, but Lucy dragged him away by the elbow.
I groaned and hid my face in Jasper’s shoulder.
‘I’m going to get fired,’ I wailed. ‘My dream first job and I lasted three weeks.’
‘Don’t be daft. They can’t fire you for fainting, especially when they make you wear … are you wearing a corset?’
He prodded my stomach. I could tell by the way his breathing deepened that he was starting to feel turned on.
‘No,’ I said. ‘Sorry to disappoint but, as you said, you can take role-playing too far. Damaging my ribcage and crushing my lungs on a daily basis didn’t appeal.’
‘I’ll get you into a corset,’ he said. ‘Just you see if I don’t.’
I removed my face from his jacket lapel and tilted it to meet his eyes.
‘Is that a threat or a promise?’
‘Both.’
Looking into his eyes was a bad mistake. How on earth was I supposed to …?
There were things I ought to do. Think? Was that one of them? Or … breathe?
Kiss. Yes, of course, it was obvious. I was supposed to kiss. There wasn’t anything else I could do.
And there it was again, Russian leather, spice, some kind of vintage aftershave, coiling into me and binding my senses to it. I had lain awake night after night trying to capture this feeling, but when it came it was so much bigger and denser and more all-consuming than any memory.
And something had been missing from my memory, something that came right back to the forefront of my mind within seconds of our lips locking. I had tried to remember the feel of it, the smell of it, the all-enveloping nature of it, and had some success, especially in my dreams. But I had forgotten the pulse of uncertainty that beat through the sensation. What’s going to happen next?
Because that was the one thing you could never know, not when you were with Jasper Jay.
In the sensual rapture of it all, I lost my grip on where we were and who I was and what I was supposed to be doing until the sound of a footfall on the gravel outside the window reminded me.
I pinched his cheek, and the surprise of it ended our kiss and made him frown rather thrillingly down at me. He’d get me for that later. Not now, though, because now was in working hours.
‘I