“I mean it,” his mother stresses. Then her tone shifts and Danny thinks, Yes, she does mean it.
“I worry about you.” She looks straight ahead while turning the radio down. Danny thinks it remarkable that she still doesn’t look old. “Really, I do worry about you. I worry about you both, and that you won’t have each other. There aren’t many times that I wish you were younger. But when I remember the way the two of you would get along – you cared about him so much. When he was a baby, you were always feeling his head and coming to me and saying he had a fever. Or you’d wake us up, worrying he’d been kidnapped. All night, I had to reassure you that he was OK. Staying up with the older son instead of the baby. But it was worth it. In the middle of the night, when you couldn’t sleep, you’d beg me to take you to Eli’s room. And when I did, you would sing to him. He was already asleep, and still you wanted to sing him a lullaby. I would whisper with you. It was so wonderful, even if it was three in the morning. For a few years after, you watched over him. And then something happened. And I wish I knew what it was. Because I’d undo it in a second.”
“But, Mom—”
“Don’t interrupt.” She holds up her hand. “You know it’s important to your father. It’s important to me. It’s also important to you. I don’t think you realise it yet. You both can be so nice and so smart and so generous. I just don’t understand why you can’t be that way with each other.”
Danny wants to say something to assure his mother. He wants to tell her he loves Elijah, but he’s afraid it won’t sound convincing.
So they remain silent. Eventually, Danny turns the radio up a little and Mrs Silver shifts lanes to make the airport turnoff. She asks Danny if he’s remembered his traveller’s checks, his passport, his guidebooks.
“Of course I remembered them,” Danny responds. “I’m your son, after all.”
That gets a smile. And Danny is happy, because even if he can’t do anything else right, at least he can still make his mother smile.
CAL DOESN’T WANT TO STAY FOR THE SILVER FAMILY REUNION. AFTER she speeds away in the bitchin’ Camaro, Elijah waves goodbye for a full minute before entering the airport.
He finds his mother and brother easily enough.
“So where’s your girlfriend?” Danny asks as Mrs Silver hugs Elijah tightly.
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
“So where is she?” Danny is wearing a suit. For the airplane.
“She had to go.” Elijah can’t stand still. His sneakers keep squeaking on the linoleum. He doesn’t know whether it’s the suit that makes Danny look old or whether it’s just life. He is filling out, as their mother would say, as if the outline of his adult self was always there, waiting. Elijah thinks this is scary.
“I brought you danish,” Mrs Silver says, handing Elijah a white box tied with bakery string.
“You’re the greatest,” Elijah announces. And he means it. Because he knows the bakery, he can see his mother holding the number in her hand, hoping against hope that they’ll have blueberry, because that’s his favourite.
Mrs Silver blushes. Danny gazes intently at a newsstand.
“I need to buy gum,” he says.
“Oh, I have gum.” Mrs Silver’s purse is opened in a flash.
“Yeah, sugarless. I don’t want sugarless. I’ll just go get some Juicy Fruit, OK?”
“Oh,” Mrs Silver sighs. “Do you need money?”
Danny smiles. “I think I can afford a pack of gum, Mom.” Then he’s off, dropping his bag at Elijah’s feet.
“I’ll take some Trident,” Elijah offers.
Mrs Silver rummages again and unearths a blue pack and a green pack.
“Sorry, no red,” she says with a smile as she hands the gum over.
“No problem. Thanks.” Elijah tucks the gum into his pocket. He doesn’t like either blue or green, but he doesn’t mind taking it. Someone else on the plane might want some.
While Danny buys his gum (and newspapers and Advil and a hardcover legal thriller), Elijah asks about his father’s leg, and she tells him it’s getting better. He thanks her again for the trip – he is sure it’s going to be great, there are so many things he wants to see. She thinks his hair is a little too long, but doesn’t say anything. (The telltale look at his collar gives her away.)
“So are we ready?” Danny is back.
“Ready as we’ll never be,” Elijah replies. Danny’s tie is caught in his shoulder-bag strap. Elijah is inordinately pleased by this.
THERE’S AN ISSUE THAT HAS TO BE RESOLVED IMMEDIATELY. DANNY, bearer of the tickets, brings it up as soon as he and Elijah are through security.
“So,” he asks, “do you want the window seat or the middle seat?”
“Up to you.”
Of course. Danny knew this was going to happen. Clearly, the window seat is preferable to the middle seat. And politeness decrees that whoever chooses first will have to choose the middle seat. Elijah must know this. Typical Elijah. He seems so kind. But really, he is passive-aggressive.
(“Why can’t you be more like your brother?” his parents would ask when he was seventeen.
“Because he’s ten!” Danny would shout before slamming his door closed.)
“You don’t have any preference?” Danny asks. “None whatsoever?”
Elijah shrugs. “Whatever you want. I’m just going to sleep.”
“But wouldn’t it be easier for you to have the window seat, then?” Danny continues, a little too urgently.
“It’s no big deal. I’ll take the middle seat if you want me to.”
Great. Now Elijah is the martyr. Danny can’t stand it when Elijah plays the martyr. But if it gets him the window seat …
“Fine. You can have the middle seat.”
“Thanks.”
At the gate they have to cool their heels for almost an hour. Danny is bothered despite his desire not to be bothered. (It bothers him even more to be bothered against his will.) Elijah reads a British music magazine and listens to his headphones. Because Elijah slumps in his seat, Danny doesn’t realise they’re now the same height. All he notices is Elijah’s ragged haircut, the small silver hoop piercing the top of his earlobe.
Danny tries to read the book he bought, but it doesn’t work. He is too distracted. Not only because he’s bothered. He is slowly crossing over. He is realising for the first time that, yes, he is about to go to Italy. Every trip has this time – the shift into happening. Before things can go badly or go well, there is always the first moment when expectation turns to now.
Danny relaxes a little. He puts away his book and takes out his Fodor’s Venice. Minutes later, there is a call for boarding. Danny gathers his things for pre-boarding. Elijah pointedly makes them wait until their row is called.
“You’re sure you don’t want the window seat?” Danny asks as they walk the ramp to the plane.
“Not unless you want the middle seat,” Elijah answers.
Danny waves the subject away.
Elijah charms the flight crew from the get-go. He asks the flight attendants how they are doing. He looks at the cockpit with such awe that the pilot smiles. Danny manoeuvres Elijah to their seats, then has to get up again to find overhead