‘No. I don’t know how everyone got here so quickly,’ Maxine said, looking round. People were lighting up cigarettes, and passing chocolates, pouring champagne and laughing at something that had been said. They all seemed to belong. Maxine looked away abruptly.
‘We’ll lean against the windowsill, if you can manage.’ Edwin placed the glasses on the sill and glanced at her. ‘Are you sure you’re all right, Maxine? You look a little flushed.’
‘I’m fine.’ She gave him a wide smile. ‘Isn’t the show wonderful? Such lovely music. Almost makes me want to dance.’
Why, oh why had she said that? As though she was trying to hint where she’d like to go on their next date. Well, there wasn’t going to be another date. She was acting like a star-struck girl and she didn’t like herself one bit. But she’d made a decision. She wasn’t going to put herself through all that emotion she’d felt sitting there beside him in the theatre. He’d laugh his head off if he had an inkling of her muddled mind. She’d feign a headache or something. Ask him to take her back to the hospital. But it was too late. The bell rang for everyone to finish their drinks and take their seats in the auditorium again.
‘Drink up, sweetheart. We don’t want to disturb everyone by being late.’
There was half a glass of wine left. She tipped it back and swallowed it without stopping.
‘Don’t want to waste it,’ she told him, a little shame-faced. She clutched on to his arm and he laughed as she lost her balance. He put an arm firmly around her waist and led her back to their waiting seats.
She didn’t remember one thing of the second half of The Dancing Years.
The rest of the evening seemed to melt away and they were on their way back to the hospital. Edwin was unusually quiet in the taxi, just holding her hand tightly as though he never wanted to release it.
Maxine’s mind was in tumult. She hadn’t even liked the man when she’d first met him; now she couldn’t stop the rush of feeling every time she looked at him. She mustn’t let him know. He would think her a foolish little girl. After all, that’s what he had called her – Girl. But she wasn’t a girl. She’d been married to her dearest friend. She knew how it felt to be married. The intimacy. And she’d missed it more than she’d realised.
Once or twice she caught Edwin glancing at her in the taxi but she forced herself not to turn her head. He instructed the driver to drop them off in the same street as last time. He was protecting her reputation as much as his own – but she hated the subterfuge. It spoilt the ending to what she could only describe as a romantic day fuelled by her longing. But now she would go down to the basement and he would go to his quarters, wherever they were.
As soon as the taxi had moved off, Edwin reached to take her in his arms and laid his cheek against hers. Then his lips sent kisses down her neck, thrilling her. His fingers undid the buttons of her jacket. His hand cupped her breast over her blouse. Then his fingers found bare skin. He began to stroke her and she moaned.
‘Maxine. Oh, Maxine, you dear girl. I want you so much. Do you want me too?’
She couldn’t fathom the expression in his eyes.
‘I think I’m falling in love with you.’ His voice was husky.
‘It’s too soon,’ she whispered.
‘Not for me, it isn’t. I think I fell in love with you when you put me in my place that first day.’
She caught a flash of his gleaming white teeth as he smiled.
‘I don’t want you to leave just yet. What say we have a nightcap in my room?’
She had no idea what a nightcap was but imagined it was a drink of some kind.
‘A cup of cocoa would be nice.’
He threw his head back with a roar of laughter. ‘Then it’s cocoa you shall have. But we must go separately. I’m in that far wing … the one still standing,’ he added with a grimace as he pointed. ‘I’ll leave the door open for you. Then go up the stairs and mine is the second door on the left. Follow me after two minutes.’
She felt awkward as soon as she glimpsed the double bed through the open door from a small sitting room. Trying not to be caught staring, she looked around. It was as neat and spotless as Edwin himself.
‘Take your jacket off,’ he said, slipping off his own and draping it over the back of one of the chairs.
‘Edwin, I—’
But she was already in his arms. His lips were on hers.
Then without speaking, and before she could protest, he picked her up as though she were as light as a ballet dancer and carried her into the bedroom.
‘Get under the sheets,’ he murmured.
She obeyed.
It hurt. She was so tense it hurt terribly. She called out for him to stop, but he didn’t seem to hear. Tears poured down her cheeks. This wasn’t how it was meant to be.
He finished and fell onto his side, smiling at her. Then his smile faded.
‘What’s the matter, darling girl? Did I hurt you?’
She nodded, desperately embarrassed.
‘I’m so sorry. Forgot to warn you I’m a big bloke. It won’t be so painful next time, I promise. In the end you’ll accommodate it more easily … speaking as your surgeon.’ He grinned. ‘I want you to enjoy it as much as I did.’ He kissed her bare shoulder. ‘Did you enjoy it just a little?’
‘Yes,’ she whispered, but it wasn’t really the truth.
She felt ashamed that she hadn’t been able to give more of herself, but the pain had been very real. She thought how very inexperienced she must seem to him. But she’d been married, for goodness’ sake. She ought to know what to expect. Then, without warning, she heard Johnny’s voice in her head after she’d accepted his proposal.
‘Even though there’s no doubt we’ll soon be at war with Germany, we’ll save ourselves until we’re married. I respect you too much to make love to you before the wedding, Max, darling.’
But Edwin hadn’t waited. And she hadn’t stopped him. She wasn’t certain the feelings she had for him were love – not yet anyway. And Edwin? Was he genuine? Or was she just a war-time diversion? She cringed at the thought, and as though Edwin had read her mind, he held her close, whispering how much he adored her. She breathed out a happy sigh. He did care for her after all.
A fortnight flashed by. Maxine and Edwin had managed to snatch a couple of hours together here and there, mostly for an occasional meal. She felt she was beginning to get to know him, but his next proposal took her by surprise. He insisted upon giving her some money to buy an evening dress and a pair of shoes.
‘You always look beautiful to me – you know that – but you’ll feel a million dollars in a new dress. And I have somewhere really special I want to take you.’
‘Nowhere can be more special than the Ritz.’ Maxine smiled.
‘Hmm. It’s not the only special place,’ he said, counting out some pounds from a bundle of notes. ‘Here … this should do it.’ He pushed the money into her reluctant hands. ‘Some of the stores in Oxford Street were badly damaged last year in the Blitz, but Marshall & Snelgrove escaped much of it, so I’m told.’ He closed her fingers over the notes. ‘Try