The long term. It seemed so far away still, but Amy was trying. Trying to imagine a future where things weren’t so hard, where she was happy again – and so was her family.
That’s what today was about. Starting the long term, right here. Creating the happy family future she wanted.
And where better to do that than at a Winter Wonderland?
‘What do you think?’ she asked, as they walked up from the station in the crisp December air, towards Hyde Park. At her feet, Henry trotted along beside her, content to stay close on the pavement and in the crowds, thankfully. She really didn’t need him creating any of his mischief today!
Jack and Claire were slightly behind her, dragging their feet, so they didn’t see the sign as quickly as Amy did. But when they spotted it …
‘Mum! Are we going in? Are we really?’ Amy smiled. For a moment, Claire sounded like her little girl again. God, she’d missed that sound.
Up ahead, the crowds were amassing, all streaming towards the enormous, brightly coloured gates. Even in the daylight, the place was lit up, and Christmas music filled the air. Beyond them, the giant wheel loomed over the whole park. Amy felt a rush of exhilaration at the very sight of it, and even Henry barked his excitement.
Yes, this was a good idea.
‘Winter Wonderland?’ Jack tried to sound cool and unaffected, but Amy knew him too well. She could hear that spark of excitement, hidden deep under his words. ‘That’s what we’re here for?’
‘Yep!’ She grinned at the kids, her heart warming as they smiled back. She handed them the map she’d printed off ready for the day ahead. ‘What do you want to do first?’
Jack and Claire held the map between them, talking over each other as they pointed out their favourite attractions. They’d wanted to come last year, and the year before, but Jim had always said it was too busy, too commercialised. He’d wanted to take them all skiing instead, but they’d never been able to afford it for the four of them – plus kennels for Henry and Sookie.
Winter Wonderland, thankfully, had free entry. Of course, there were plenty of things you could pay for inside, but that was why Amy had planned the whole trip so carefully. She’d budgeted and booked ahead for two of the bigger items – the Giant Wheel and ice skating by the bandstand. And by bringing Henry along, she’d ensured that she’d have to stay on the side with him, so they only needed two tickets. She’d kept enough money aside for the kids to choose one activity each on top of that, and brought their Christmas money from their Granny – donated early for the cause – if they wanted to spend any more.
They’d had an early picnic lunch on the train in, so they didn’t need to buy food at one of the overpriced food stalls, and Amy had planned a dinner at an inexpensive Italian she remembered from when she and Jim were dating, after they’d walked through Oxford Street to see the lights. Add in a side trip to look at Buckingham Palace and they’d have had a full, memorable day – and Amy would still have money left to buy the food for Christmas dinner.
Not bad going, if she did say so herself.
The kids didn’t seem to have noticed that everything they did was being done on the cheap, thankfully. Claire was mesmerised by the lights and sights of the Christmas market, and even Jack seemed engaged by the music and excited to see the views from the Giant Wheel. Henry stayed close by her feet – almost tripping her up a couple of times – but generally wasn’t causing any trouble, which was a plus.
For a moment, it was almost like the last few months hadn’t happened at all.
Except that Jim wasn’t there.
Amy watched the huge wheel turning against the darken-ing London sky, and let herself imagine, just for a moment, how different things might have been if Jim had never hired Bonnie as his new secretary. Never fallen in love with her. Never decided to give up on almost twenty years of marriage in a heartbeat.
Then she shook her head. There was no point dwelling on the past. She had to focus on the future – and making it perfect for her kids, without Jim at her side.
She didn’t want Jack and Claire to hate their dad – adding more bitterness to the situation wouldn’t help anyone. And Dr Fitzgerald was right – he’d still be their dad, once the divorce was all over and settled. But in her efforts to keep things civil and polite, Amy couldn’t help but think she’d got the rough end of the deal. The fact that Jim had an affair and, when forced to choose, picked Bonnie for his future, meant that Jack wasn’t speaking to his father. As for Claire … Amy wasn’t even sure how much she knew about what had happened. After all, Jim hadn’t introduced the kids to his new girlfriend yet.
But that couldn’t last forever. Soon they’d have a new person in their lives, a new permanent situation to deal with. Someone to share holidays and special occasions with. Next year, they’d be scheduling out who got the kids when, who enjoyed Christmas Day with them and who got stuck with Boxing Day, and who was responsible for the stockings on Christmas Eve …
This year, though, they were still all hers. And she intended to make the most of that. Jack was nearly eighteen, after all – this could be his last family Christmas, if it came down to it. So Amy was determined to make this Christmas magical for them both. Give them one last year of being proper kids at Christmas.
Even if she had to do it alone.
Henry brushed up against her legs, and she reached down to pat him as the Giant Wheel came to a halt.
‘We can do it, can’t we, boy?’ she murmured, as she watched for Jack and Claire disembarking.
Henry just rested his head on his paws, over her feet. At least she could be sure Henry wasn’t going anywhere.
It was kind of nice to have at least one guy she could rely on.
Even if he was a corgi.
I had to admit, there were a lot more interesting smells at the ‘Winter Wonderland’ place than at home in Redhill. There, it was mostly other dogs, children, cars, bins and the occasional squirrel in the local park. Here, there was chestnuts roasting (at least, according to the man who bellowed at us as we went past, that’s what they were) and all sorts of sweet things, along with the biting scent of the ice and the cold air. Plus the smell of excitement, that ran through the whole place – I could even smell it on Jack, Claire and Amy, which was a lovely change.
Claire groaned when it was time for us to go, but she didn’t make the kind of fuss we were all used to lately. Amy wrapped an arm around her slim shoulders and promised her there was plenty more fun ahead, and Claire cheered up again after that.
‘So, what’s next, Mum?’ Jack asked, hardly a hint of his usual surly tones in his voice. I sat at his feet, my stumpy tail wagging in approval. I liked my Walkers happy, and this was the first time I’d seen it in months.
Maybe things were on the up again, for everyone.
‘I thought we’d walk down past Buckingham Palace.’ Amy folded the map of the Winter Wonderland carefully, and placed it back in her bag. ‘And maybe through St James’s Park to see the pelicans. Then later, once it’s dark, we can catch the tube back up to Oxford Street to look at the lights, before dinner. What do you think?’
Claire rested her head against her mum’s arm. ‘Sounds brilliant.’
‘Great!’ Amy beamed.
I trotted along contentedly at Amy’s side as we wound our way past log cabin market stalls and ice skating children, the sounds of laughter and joy filling the air. Today was a very good day indeed – and I definitely liked the sound of St James’s Park!
Parks, in my experience,