In this thin-worshipping, youth-orientated society, it may initially be difficult to take this positive, accepting approach. But if you don’t you will only gain more weight and become more weight-preoccupied.
Haven’t you spent enough of your life going on and off diets and feeling uncomfortable with your body? I always thought growth and maturity were supposed to free us from these superficial obsessions, but that’s not what’s happening. As we enter the transition to the menopause, we are becoming more weight-preoccupied and food-obsessed. Think about it: women are entering the perimenopause at an astronomical rate. Every day thousands of women embark on the journey, and millions are gaining an average of 12 pounds – that’s millions of pounds of cumulative weight gain and millions of pounds of weight-preoccupation holding us down. We’re already seeing the negative signs of this mass body dissatisfaction. Menopausal women represent one of the fastest growing segments of the population with eating disorders, and one of the fastest growing consumers of prescription diet pills. Here’s another telltale sign: Researchers were funded last year to study women who have a positive body image during the menopause and how that affects their transition, but they couldn’t find enough women even to start the study!
Negative attitudes towards our bodies during the menopause started in the 1950s, when some doctors actually treated midlife women with tranquillizers. Then in the 1960s, from the best-selling book Feminine Forever we learned from a gynaecologist that the menopause was an ominous marker of lost youth and a disease of oestrogen deficiency. Unfortunately, this way of thinking continues today. A recent survey found that 53 per cent of women consider the menopause a medical condition that requires treatment. If you are one of those 53 per cent, I hope that this introduction has triggered you to question your attitude and that the rest of this book will turn you completely around. The menopause is not a disease to be treated; it’s a natural transition to be experienced.
Is puberty a disease? No. Is pregnancy a disease? No. Puberty and pregnancy are healthy stages of female passage – and so is the menopause. Like puberty, the menopause is a shift in hormones, but in reverse. With the exception of hot flushes, the menopause is the mirror image of puberty – and, like puberty, the transition will end. Weight will stabilize, moods will even out, and thinking will clear. You got through puberty without the benefit of years of wisdom and maturity. You’ll get through the menopause more smoothly if you let your wisdom and maturity guide you.
We can take a more positive approach to the menopause and the weight-gain associated with it, and we can change the way society views the menopause. We’ve had a positive impact on society before, and we can do it again. As we moved through the previous stages of female passage, we changed them. We changed society’s view of menstruation and PMS. We altered the birth control and childbirth industry. Now, we have an even stronger collective voice to change society’s outlook on the menopause.
But how will we change it? Will we keep dieting, fighting our bodies and trying to defy biology? Or will we keep demanding research, going to conferences, surfing the Internet and reading books to gather knowledge about what our bodies need to do during this important time in our lives?
My guess (and I’d bet a million dollars that I’m right) is that we will be proactive information-gatherers rather than self-destructive fighters. It’s a part of who we are. When I shared with my husband that I thought I was entering the midlife transition with my mega-PMS and change in body shape, he jokingly said to me, ‘My advice, Deb, is to take it like a man. Just grin and bear it, and forget about it.’ Knowing he was trying to get a rise out of me, I immediately retorted, ‘No, I’ll take it like a woman. I’ll question it, research it, talk to my doctor about it, talk to my mother about it, talk to my friends about it, then talk about it some more to understand and manage it the best I can.’
This book will give you all the research, education, facts, understanding, guidance and solutions you’ll need – so that we can all manage midlife weight gain and take the menopause ‘like a woman’.
Chapter 1 So That’s Why I’m Gaining Weight
Have you recently looked in the mirror and wondered where that extra body fat was coming from? Or tried on a pair of trousers that you haven’t worn for a couple of months only to discover you can’t button the waist, even with the previously successful lie-on-the-bed manoeuvre? Or got on the scales saying, ‘This can’t be right; I couldn’t possibly have gained 4 pounds in a week’?
When you honestly look at your eating and exercise habits, you are confident that you’re not eating more or exercising less. Sure, you slipped a few times and ate real, luscious ice cream yesterday or a second helping of lasagne last week, but that can’t possibly be the reason. Neither can a decrease in your activity level, because you either don’t exercise at all or you have a personal trainer who will vouch for your consistency.
Unable to figure out what’s happening to your body, you make an appointment with your doctor for a complete medical exam. Your tests show that you are in perfect health. Still perplexed, you call your mother asking if adult onset obesity runs in your family. She tells you no and that you’re probably imagining things. Then, you start talking to your friends, wondering if they, too, are experiencing this mysterious weight gain. They are, but they don’t know why either.
This first chapter will piece together the mysterious puzzle of midlife weight gain by providing a full and uncomplicated explanation of how and why you are gaining weight. I can assure you that it’s not the ice cream, the second helping of lasagne, or a missed exercise class, and chances are it’s not a physical ailment or a latent obesity gene either. It’s the menopause, and you are definitely not alone. Millions of other women share your confusion and frustration.
If you are a fertile, hot flush-free 35-or 40-year-old woman, you may have flinched at the boldface ‘M’ word. Let me clarify. You are still menstruating, so you are not menopausal in the classic sense and probably won’t experience the hot flushes, memory loss and other telltale signs for another decade or more. But you are entering the initial phase of the menopause. You are entering the perimenopause, the important 10-to 20-year transition leading up to the menopause, where your waist expands and your fat cells enlarge to prepare your body for the rest of the transition and the rest of your life.
Whether you are 35 and just about to enter the transition, or 55 and just ending it, the good news is that you can take a deep breath and stop blaming yourself or your eating habits for this midlife weight gain. Researchers round the world have proven that an increase in calories, carbohydrates, fat or alcohol does not explain menopausal body changes. But changes in hormonal levels, metabolism and fat cell physiology do.
You are gaining weight because your fat cells are responding to lower hormonal levels, a drop in metabolism and an overriding need to maintain your physical and emotional health during the menopausal transition and beyond. You may not want to gain weight (what woman does?), but your body wants to. You may think the best way to fight expanding fat cells is through dieting, but, as you’ll discover, your fat cells fight back now more than ever and will make you gain even more weight. The only way to manage menopausal weight permanently is to forego dieting and begin a new, natural way of eating and exercising that works with your midlife fat cells instead of against them.
I’m not going to lead you to believe that you can turn back the clock and get back your 20-year-old body. You can’t. The changes in your midlife body are biologically necessary and too important for your well-being to prevent them completely. But you can make your fat cells smaller and achieve a fit, healthy body by following a weight-control programme designed specifically for the menopause. However, before you can master this programme, you need to know exactly what’s happening to your body and fat cells during the transition. Before I can outline how to outsmart your midlife fat cells, I need to explain why they are so clever and stubborn to begin