And now, suddenly, there was adventure, excitement, my very own Five on a Treasure Island moment. And there was Ross Mason, the boy in the band. Witty, warm, smiley Ross, his dancing eyes full of passion and fun, who’d somehow become part of it all. In spite of the hangover I felt my heart leap with that fluttering feeling: a path to travel, a step beyond the mundane.
The only thing was, I wasn’t sure whether the leap went with Ross, the lighthouse, or both. The two things seemed to be knotted up somehow, and I couldn’t see where one ended and the other began.
Ok, I knew it was insane. I knew the project would be difficult, maybe impossible. Expensive. Time-consuming. But it’d made my heart jump. God only knew how long it’d been since that last happened.
Bugger caution. I was doing this.
***
As I walked to the lighthouse, a sulky Monty in tow, I wondered whether I’d find Ross there. Assuming he even remembered our plan, there was no guarantee he wouldn’t have changed his mind about the whole thing now all the booze was out of his system.
I needn’t have worried. When I reached the clifftop he was waiting, looking a bit green around the gills but with a welcoming smile on his face. The sea breeze was whipping his hair around his face just as it had… God, had it really only been yesterday we’d met again?
He looked bashful as I approached.
“Er, hi,” he said, scuffing at the grass with one toe.
“Hi yourself.”
“You feeling as rough as I look?”
“Worse.” I shook my head. “Can’t believe I let you talk me into that tequila slammer.”
That seemed to break the ice. He laughed.
“Foul and hideous lies. But suppose I shouldn’t expect any less from the girl who’s inflicted the hangover from hell on me.”
There was an awkward silence for a second.
“So, do you remember?” he said at last.
The lighthouse plan or the kiss? I leaned down to let Monty off his lead, a handy excuse to avoid eye contact. The little dog flung us both a dirty look before galloping off to chase his tail round the lighthouse.
“I’m here, aren’t I?” I said eventually.
“And do you – you didn’t just come to give me my 50p back?”
I shook my head. “I told you, Ross, I think it’s a great idea. That wasn’t the booze talking. I’m in if you are.”
“I am if you are.”
I laughed. “Then that makes four of us.” I nodded to the lighthouse. “If it’s possible, that is. Let’s check out the damage before we get too carried away, eh?”
Ross pulled a key out of his pocket and unlocked the old door. I noticed a brand new sliver of pink graffiti across it as I followed him in.
Oh God… my stomach muscles went rigid as I cast my eyes over the inside. It was worse than I’d expected. Much, much worse.
Everything was the same shade of mottled pearly grey all over, like a three-week-old orange that had been left in the sun. And as for the smell… Christ. A herd of cats could’ve spent a year pissing into every nook and it would’ve been more fragrant. The glassless windows meant hordes of seagull visitors had left a slimy layer of droppings over every surface.
The spiral staircase running up the middle was a slide of rubble, moss poking through every crack. Burst, festering sandbags were piled haphazardly at the base, along with a load of rancid wood and rope that might once have been lobster pots. The whole building looked like an unsalvageable mess of rock, guano and plant matter.
“Jesus, Ross!”
“Yeah, I know…”
“Is it even safe?” I asked, running one fingertip along a wall. My finger actually sank into the wet, powdery dust that seemed to cover everything. Pulling out a tissue, I wiped it off in disgust.
“Well there’s no asbestos or anything, I asked Charlie. Just dirt and rot. Still, don’t think we should spend longer inside than we have to.”
“Oh my God…” I felt suddenly lightheaded and my stomach flipped uncomfortably. Turning to the door, I stumbled blindly through, blinking dust out of my eyes.
Outside, I sank against the lighthouse’s sloped wall and burst into tears.
So that was it. The adventure was over before it had even started. That… that was it. Well, it had been a nice dream while it lasted.
Monty bounded up and put his little paws on my lap, blinking sympathetic brown eyes, but all I could do was stare at him through a fog of brine and disappointment.
Ross appeared at the door. “Hey, no need for that,” he said gently, coming out and sitting down on the grass next to me. Seeing a rival comforter had arrived, Monty turned his tail to us and trotted off. “It’s not so bad.”
“Not so bad, are you blind? It’ll cost a fortune to get that place sorted out. How could Charlie let it get like that?”
“He hasn’t been up here since Aunty Annie died.” He slipped an arm round my shoulders. “It was hers, you know. Think that’s one reason he wants rid: sick of those letters from the council, reminding him she’s gone and it’s still here.”
“Poor Charlie,” I said with a sigh. “But it doesn’t matter. We can’t do it, Ross. The place is beyond repair.” I turned to bury my head in his shoulder and gave way to sobs.
“Come on, what happened to that girl from last night, the one who robbed me of 50p and told me we could do anything?”
“She… sobered up, that’s what,” I gasped through the tears. “Sobered up and hit that bastard called reality head-on.”
“Don’t say that.” He reached up to stroke my hair. “Honestly, I wasn’t just trying to make you feel better, it really isn’t so bad. We can do it.”
“You… really… think so?” I sobbed into his coat.
“I really do. Come back inside a sec, let me show you.”
I wiped my eyes on his collar, stood and followed him back in.
“See? Structure’s fine, all the stone apart from the staircase,” he said, blowing a layer of dust away and knocking against a solid-sounding wall. “And look.” He took a few long strides across the floor. “You were right, it is bigger than I thought. Must be 30, 35 feet across.”
I sniffed doubtfully. “You think it could work then?”
“Yep. We’ll have to get someone to survey it, but I’m certain it’s basically sound.” His eyes sparkled as fervour for his pet project took hold. “Can’t you just see it, Bobbie? A stage down here, two or three viewing balconies, and then maybe a little bar at the top where the old lamp is, looking out to sea.” He stopped to relish the image he’d conjured, a smile fluttering on his lips.
To be honest, I couldn’t see it. All I could see when I looked around the lighthouse was dirt, decay and a hell of a lot of work. But I couldn’t help smiling at the enthusiasm shining in his face.
“It’ll be a new lease of life for the place,” I said. “That’s if we can pull it off.”
“We can, I know it.” He came over to squeeze my shoulder. “You and me, lighthouse girl.”
“Yeah, but –” I broke off into a fit of coughing as some of the dust got into my throat.
“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Ross said, guiding